Waiting…But…

posted 6 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
5967 posts
Bee Keeper

 “Can we talk about it? Because I want to be on the same page and i don’t want to be a professional girlfriend forever.”

I think this is a great intro. Maybe include something like “when do YOU see us getting married?” and go from there. I agree that doing it without the kids is more appropriate. 

Post # 4
Member
5967 posts
Bee Keeper

But why wait until spring? He’s been talking about it, you’re thinking about it. If you can’t bring up a topic to your bf how do you expect to make him a husband? 

Post # 5
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I think this is a really good opportunity to practice improving your communication skills as a couple. You should not be afraid to bring up something important to you with someone that you potentially want as a life partner. 

Post # 8
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I think since there are kids in the mix, it’s ultra super important for the two of you to be on the same page about these things. He shouldn’t be making these kinds of comments if he isn’t serious. That can be really confusing for the kids. So regardless of timelines, the two of you should talk about this.

Post # 9
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - City, State

I worry that you’re reading too much into his playful moment with his kids. I wouldn’t assume a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g about his intentions based on the scenarios you described in your original post; they seem sweet, yes, but pretty noncommittal. As other PPs have said, this is a great moment to practice open and honest conversation as a couple! This is your future, too, and your family’s; you have every right to bring it up. If you’re living in fear of saying something that will upset him, I have to say … that’s not the healthiest dynamic, and it will have to shift if you’re going to have a successful long-term marriage.

Post # 10
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

fitheadfitness :  If he is bold enough to bring this up in front of his kids (and get them excited), he is probably ballsy enough to follow through. Just verify his thoughts and he’ll probably tell you what time line he is on. I think good things are coming! Dont’ be afraid to advocate for yourself!

Post # 11
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Im more worried about why you need reassurance on asking your supposedly best friends how he feels about you. If he was truly your so called best friend you would be able to ask him in your own privacy at night away from the kids what his intentions are. A good friend would be clear and open no bullshitting. Ask today when he plans to do it because you are currently wasting your time playing house and being a wife with no commitment or legal security. 

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