(Closed) Waiting but have already picked out a wedding date?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I guess I fall into the second group of ladies. SO and I have spoken extensively about getting married, have ordered the ring, live together, share finances, have been together for almost 7 years (end of this month) and I’m still considered “waiting”. We are waiting for the ring to come in and he will most likely propose in the next month or so, maybe even the weekend before our 7 year anniversary. I know I want to get married in the Fall, have picked a tentative date and have started researching venues. Does that make me weird? I guess it doesn’t matter because I am happy ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 18
Member
356 posts
Helper bee

I had a date and venue before the ring.  We knew we were getting married, and I flat out told him that waiting any longer to book a venue would mean it would be hard to find one if we were to get married this year, which he had said already we were going to do.  So we booked the venue and I got the official proposal and ring about 2 weeks later.

Post # 19
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

I have a date, and I won’t be getting a ring until years down the line! Some couples agree that a certain day is important to them. For example, I am set on marrying on our anniversary in April…we are sappy romantics, so it means a lot to us. It strikes me as odd that I’d need to accept a proper proposal in order for him to know that the date is very special to me.

Post # 20
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

With my first marriage, we had a date picked out before we were “engaged”.  It was one of those easy to remember dates like 8/8/08 and also an anniversary for us. I guess you can say he assumed we’d always be together and there wasn’t much hurry to show that level of commitment to the rest of the world.  During this engaged-to-be-engaged time, we didn’t tell anyone about our wedding date or ideas.  Once he gave me the ring, we outed ourselves.

With my impending nuptials, it was much more traditional.  We knew we were on the same page with wanting to make it official but his proposal was a surprise.  Obviously there was no date set in advance this time.

Post # 21
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee

I’m like some of the others in the second group. We’ve been together for a long time. We know we want to be married. We’ve talked a bunch about ideal circumstances, including when we’d want to get married. However, nothing is set in stone (hehe pun) before there’s a rock on my finger. I think alot of people don’t take plans seriously until there’s a ring, like the couple isn’t actually engaged “for real”.

Post # 22
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I had general dates I would have liked to get married in but nothing concrete and nothing he’d been on board for, so its all just wishful thinking. Shame on me! 

Post # 23
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My now Fiance and i have been together 9 years…..i realized he was planning on proposing around november…..so I figured out which date would work (according to my work schedule) and when he proposed I told him the date we were getting married…..

but then, we are older (32 and 37) and knew we would get married in the summer….so it wasn’t really weird for me to pick that date….

it also turned out that the date I chose would have been his grandfather’s 100th birthday ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 24
Member
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

My SO and I have talked about getting married, buying a house, kids, etc so yes, I’ve researched a lot about venues, color schemes, flowers and stuff but nothing is booked. We also have a general idea of when we would like to get married, again not booked. All of our friends and family know that we’re going to get married someday. Just because we’re looking around and getting inspiration for our wedding before we’re actually engaged doesn’t make us “wierd,” different strokes for different folks. What works for us might not work for another couple.

Post # 27
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee

I guess I am “engaged” but I don’t have the ring to prove it yet? We were engaged before, and had a ring that I bought from a pawn shop… the way it happened was that as we were looking and trying on rings, for fun, the both of us were and I bought the ring I liked and I just left it on my finger… so no proposal or anything…

We are starting over because of an episode that happened between us recently and we have the date of the wedding and I am planning now, so I am only waiting for a ring from my SO before december to actually consider myself “officially” engaged. Need a ring to prove it… LOL

Makes sense? 

Post # 28
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

@StefLovesJamie:  I understand what you’re saying. I never thought in a million years that I would be in this situation. I am extremely traditional (won’t even live together before we are married) but after many talks my SO suggested that we start planning.

Our situation is somewhat unique in that we are both students graduating in May (him from medical school and me from a graduate program). He will be starting a residency in July that may take him out of state for 3-5 years. He can’t afford a ring until next semester (hopefully) but I really need to start planning because we are planning on getting married 11/02/2013 and I am not a last minute kind-of girl. I am not going to book the hall or send invitations until we are officially engaged but from a practical standpoint this is the way it has to be (even though I hate it).Undecided

Post # 29
Member
6580 posts
Bee Keeper

Fiance and I didn’t pick an exact date before we were engaged but we picked the month.  We had talked marriage for a while but he didn’t want to make it official until after his cousin’s wedding (he wanted her to have her moment before we announced our engagement).  But since we knew it was coming we agreed on a month.  I don’t think there’s anything weird about it ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 30
Member
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

A ring doesn’t mean anything, honestly.  If your SO turns around and tells you that he wants to marry you and then you start planning a wedding, that’s not weird or wrong by any means and I’m actually extremely offended and insulted and surprised that some girls said some of the things they did.  Seriously, how many couples have broken up after a ring was given?  What’s the ring anyway?  A tradition started by De Beers in the 1930s? Lots of guys give rings, but then the couple doesn’t actually plan – a “long engagement” as they call it. 

How can anything be more serious or promising than atually picking a date, a venue and starting to plan? 

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