Here’s the thing, I can pick a date to do anything and no one thinks twice. I can say, I’m going on vacation to Hawaii on June 28th, 2013. Have I purchased my flight yet? No. have I requested time off? Nope. Have I set aside money to pay for the trip? No. But no one would say, “I don’t understand why people pick a date to go on vacation when they haven’t done xyz yet. That’s inappropriate and weird.”
There’s a difference between picking a date and planning the wedding. Picking a date doesn’t mean you’re planning a wedding. You’re just saying, “We’d like to get married on this date.” There’s nothing binding in that statement.
That said, the mister and I are not engaged yet, though we have settled on a date; and while we pretty much know what we want in our wedding, I wouldn’t say it’s planned since nothing is booked and we haven’t done anything besides saying, I like this. I don’t like that. How about we get married here? Granted, that may be a technicality but it is what it is. Date picked, no set plans. What’s the problem with that?
Of course, I also fall into the second group. We’ve been together for over 7 years and know this is it for us. We talk extensively about getting engaged and our marriage. The only thing we’re waiting for is a steady job for him. And to close this 2,000 mile gap. Details.
Every person’s waiting experience is different. Some people prefer to wait until the ring is on their finger before they start, others are fine getting ideas together and that’s it, while others are perfectly okay with booking certain things. There isn’t one correct way of planning a wedding and it’s something we all need to remember. One size does not fit all.
And honestly, I’ve helped a lot of my friends plan their weddings and I failed to see the magical specialness some people associate with engagements. They were stressed, overwhelmed, worried, and couldn’t wait until it was all over. Planning a wedding is not a magical thing. There’s a lot of moving parts and harsh realities that we never would have imagined that happen. And we’re in such a rush to save money, craft projects, and get things done before the wedding that we don’t stop to actually enjoy being engaged (which has been something many of the blogging bess have mentioned many times before)! Who wants to suffer through that?!
So maybe by doing research now to figure out what we want and what we can afford, I can actually enjoy my engagement when I am engaged because there’s less to worry about! Plan a little now, enjoy more of my engagement later? Sign me up for that!