(Closed) Waiting but not wanting the task of planning a wedding??

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
29 posts

Not planning, not even engaged, but never did like all the trouble and stress of planning one day of my life. Definitely would love to elope, but I don’t see my boyfriend doing that.

Post # 4
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I picked out and bought a ring last week…it is being designed and sized so I wont get it back for a couple weeks…so I’m “waiting”…and technically he hasnt asked me just yet even thouhg we both know its going to happen. I feel like you do about planning…I have always wanted a big wedding but, I know realistically I cannot afford that with finishing school and starting to pay back my loans so I want to do a small destination wedding. My family would never go along with it so I cant, but yes, I am alreading crunching numbers and stressing out and I dont even have to ring yet! lol

Post # 5
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I am thrilled to be getting married, but I had the same feelings. I never wanted a big wedding, I actually preferred a small destination wedding. I have a HUGE family and so does my Fiance. I am just two years out of college and I am on a tight budget, but I am able to make it on my own. My Fiance is 6 years older than me and we discussed that we will be paying for the wedding ourselves. Both of our parents are going to help out as best they can, but I cannot rely on their money. So far I have been able to keep things in control, but it takes a lot of work. I am doing a lot of DIY projects and saving a ton of money that way. We are inviting about 300 guests and that is mostly family and very close friends. We have people coming from all over the country and even a groomsman from Australia. We owe it to ourselves to make our day as special as we can, without spending a fortune!

Post # 6
229 posts
Helper bee

Yah, I feel this way. Similar to you, I know that the proposal is imminent. And the closer that actual wedding planning gets, the more I just feel like ugh! make it stop! I think I am just anticipating the worst– family drama, expensive bills, difficulty booking stuff (since we’ll have <6 months to throw everything together). Maybe it will get better after we’re actually engaged and can legitimately talk plans with other people? I think (hope) I’ve been overthinking on my own. 

Post # 7
305 posts
Helper bee

I just got engaged and I am beginning to think something is wrong with me…I am not really too thrilled with the idea of the stress of planning a wedding. I kinda wish someone would just tell me when and where to show up…

Post # 8
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

It does not have to be stressful. I certainly did not want a “stressful planning” and my own planning was quite stress free – of course it helped that my husband handled most of it, ha ha! Even so, we had a semi-elopement/small destination wedding planned in under 2 1/2 months. We each have big families, but we did not want a “big wedding”. It was very relaxed and intimate, and no stress, and very enjoyable! Neither of us would change a thing even if we could.

It will be as stressful or as stress-free as you together choose it to be.

Post # 9
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I feel the same way as most of you. I’ll be engaged in a couple of months and I’m already feeling quite negatively about the planning process. I live abroad now but everyone is back in the states which means I have to plan a wedding from afar. Not only that but it’s 24 hours of travel back home so it’s not like I can take a couple of short trips to figure stuff out. We also are from different backgrounds so we need TWO cultural ceremonies to please our parents. I JUST WANT TO ELOPE!! Boyfriend or Best Friend is too nice to his mom though, he’d never take the pleasure of a wedding away from her. Sigh.

Post # 10
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I was excited to get engaged but definitely not excited to plan a wedding as the engagement got closer.  My Fiance and I dated for a long time mainly because I wasn’t ready to get married, which meant having a wedding. I have a huge family (luckily, my Fiance doesn’t) and my parents preferred for me to have a large traditional asian wedding.  In the end, they are okay with me having a small western one (by small, my guestlist is already at 200). I think the most stressful part is trying to make everyone happy and making yourself happy as well – oh, and how overflated pricing is for anything wedding (I can’t believe I’m even considering spending over $500 on bridal hair/makeup!!)

Once we booked our venue (which was a stressful process), everything has been much easier.  As long as you have a great support system and knowing you can’t please everyone, you will be okay.  Take deep breaths and make sure you have things you can enjoy outside of wedding planning.  We decided on a long engagement to make sure it wasn’t wedding 24/7. Figure out what is important to you.  It isn’t about the wedding, but marrying the love of your life. THAT is what excites me 🙂

Post # 11
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I feel the same way! I’m getting engaged as well and you and I are pretty much in the same situation. Thinking about our wedding use to get me excited…All the DIY projects! But now I’m starting to stress out about it (and we aren’t even engaged yet). All the money–we might as well have a destination wedding. I think I’ll get a better idea of what we are going to do when we get engaged so I can ask my family how much they are willing to contribute. Him and I would pay for everything ourselves but we are trying to get a house right now so there is absolutely no way we can afford to have a wedding with my HUGE family and all of our lovely friends. STRESS!

Post # 12
27 posts



I don’t really want a wedding either.  If and when it happens, it will probably be either an elopement or a small beach ceremony just for close family. 

A lot of my reasoning is financial.  I’ve gone thru some financial difficulties due to the housing market and economy over the past few years, it’s impacted my ideals and thoughts on spending money.  Blowing $10,000 or more for a party just seems beyond reason. 

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