(Closed) Waiting chat part 4!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
708 posts
Busy bee

I was in my local Hallmark store, searching for a Christmas card for my boyfriend.

There were two cards in the “someone special” section of the holiday aisles. They were both terrible. To my left were the “husband” cards, and to my right were the “friendship” cards. The little old lady that worked there pretty much told me I was out of luck.

THANKS HALLMARK, YA FILTHY ANIMAL.

I actually found one in the “husband” section that said “my guy” instead of the not-applicable “husband.” Still though, we lovers deserve some options. Riffling through the married people greetings was just awkward.

Post # 18
Member
2424 posts
Buzzing bee

I had a terrible night tonight. BF and I got into a serious discussion about communication going wrong in our relationship (so unrelated to getting married lol) and ended with him saying things about our relationship that made me think we’re not on the same page at all.

It was nothing insulting, we don’t throw insults at each other, but basically he was saying that he thought we’d be together as long as we were happy. That is so not related to what we have talked about regarding our relationship, so I was really taken aback by it. I told him that I expected us to stay together forever, and then he said that was the same thing because who’d want to be together when they are unhappy or something but it’s really not at all and honestly it bothers me a lot.

I booked a last-minute flight to see him because it has just been too long (over 2 months now) and on top of that I feel like we need to talk our issues out in person.

I wonder–does anyone on here have any advice?

We don’t usually have situations where we’re having such huge issues come up. The one other time this happened was a year and a half ago. That’s when he admitted to me that one of his worst fears is being in a relationship and being utterly unhappy. And now he brought it up again, and ughhhhh….

Post # 19
Member
214 posts
Helper bee

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@MissMarple:  Communication can be hard when it doesn’t happen in person, so I hope that going to see him really helps to clear things up. I agree with what you’re saying, I think – I expect my future husband to work through any ‘unhappiness’ with me to get on the right track, I don’t want to be with someone who is going to cut and run when it gets difficult. I would ask if he is committed to working with you through any bumps in the road.. maybe that question won’t seem as daunting to him!

I’m having an uncomfortable waiting day. I think the proposal will be here by the end of the month, but what if it isn’t? I’m frustrated with a lot of things in life right now and I just wish it would happen so I can take my mind off of how much I hate winter (especially after waiting for 30+ minutes for the bus to work this morning) and how unsatisfied I feel in my job. Rationally, I know that’s a pretty lame reason to want him to propose right now though. I just daydream about going home from a bad day of work and being instantly cheered up by him asking me to marry him… that would for sure turn my day around!

Post # 20
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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@MissMarple:  I think it’s good that you’re going to go see him. It really is important that things be hashed out face to face. Why do you think he is saying the things he is saying? I understand that this is a long distance relationship and you haven’t seen each other for a while..I’m sure that would make anyone unhappy! Does he think there is something you could be doing that you aren’t doing? I hope that after you see him, you can come back and give us a really positive report! Good luck.

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@Sassyfras27:  I FEEL YOU, GIRL! I’m getting terrible seasonal affective disorder which makes my job that much more dissatisfying, is causing general moodiness, and comfort eating. I also get that feeling that when whenever that proposal comes, things will start to look up, you know? Like I’ll be able to tolerate the bad weather..and my job..and maybe start to work out so that I just start to look and feel better all around. I know that I really should just start improving myself now, but it’s hard to with the proposal right around the corner..I find it so hard to get my mind on anything else except that!! You should see how hard Christmas shopping is for me right now! I’m like “Well, maybe I should go get my hair done…or my nails…I have to be ready…I have to be ready……………”

Post # 21
Member
265 posts
Helper bee

I haven’t been on here since I went to Texas for Thanksgiving with my SO’s family!  Anyway, I haven’t gotten to see him since we’ve been back.  Last weekend was yucky, so I turned around before I got too far along in my trip.  This is when it’s tough being in a long distance relationship.  I called my sister after I pulled over to turn around and cried.  She thought I had been in an accident.  No, I was just upset that I wasn’t going to get to see my guy!  Of course, we do Skype nearly every night.  If we didn’t do that, then I couldn’t make it.  He’s coming to see me this weekend.  I had an aunt who was very close to me and who passed away just after Halloween.  We’re going to be having a celebration of her life, and my SO is going to play piano for us!  I’m very excited to “show him off” to family members who haven’t met him yet and people from my church.  I just hope that the weather cooperates this weekend!  I’m hearing whispers of snow coming again on Sunday!

Post # 22
Member
420 posts
Helper bee

Hi! I’m new to the boards (signed up today). What is the waiting chat and may I join in?

 

Post # 23
Member
265 posts
Helper bee

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@weddingclueless:  

Just chat about whatever is on your mind in this thread.  Yes, please do join in!

Post # 25
Member
2424 posts
Buzzing bee

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@happyxmichelle:  
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@Sassyfras27:  Thanks so much, ladies! I’ve been on edge all day especially after telling my BFF about the argument and having her interpret it as him trying to break up with me, but SO has been behaving pretty much like normal. We’ll see what happens when I go visit and what he says when we talk while I’m there. Hopefully things go well πŸ™‚

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@Sassyfras27:  Ugh I also hate the winter cold when having to walk around and take public transportation. I think you should try keeping some of those portable hand warmer packets with you–at least that way you won’t be as cold!

And I feel both of y’all on the whole looking forward to something good to get me through the bad times I’ve been having stuff, but at the same time I feel like I should just try to improve whatever is wrong in my life. Because I know me and I know that the happiness from whatever good event (eg a proposal) isn’t going to last forever.

Are you happy with the type of job you have? Would it be good for you to start looking into jobs in different companies/industries? Or do you have some other specific passion that you want to go after?

I’m unhappy with my job situation too, so I’m trying to get into graduate school to continue my education…I don’t know what you’d ideally be doing, though.

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@weddingclueless:  Just join in! Hi and welcome πŸ™‚

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@frabrooke:  I’m sorry you didn’t get to see your SO last weekend! I think I’d have the same reaction if one of our trips to see each other was canceled. I hope that the weather cooperates and he is able to make it safely this weekend. πŸ™‚

I’m also sorry to hear about your aunt’s passing. The celebration of her life sounds like it will be a wonderful way to remember and honor her.

Post # 26
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Ahhhhh! Simple waiting night. Nothing out of the ordinary happened….but coming home to SO and a home cooked meal just makes me want to be married RIGHT THIS SECOND.

Post # 28
Member
2424 posts
Buzzing bee

Do y’all think that living together has made the waiting period longer than it would otherwise have been or do y’all think that it made no difference in your respective relationships?

Post # 29
Member
214 posts
Helper bee

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@MissMarple:  I don’t think it’s made a difference in my relationship. I’m not saying it’s that way for everyone – I have a friend whose girlfriend wants him to propose and when I asked why he didn’t have any plans to after three years, he said “nothing would change, so I don’t see the point”. I don’t get that at all… but I think some men are just like that. 

My SO seems to have caught the marriage bug as soon as I moved in. He brings it up a lot, which makes me feel good! It was important to him to live together first to see if we were compatible and make sure there were no surprises.

Happy Wednesday, everyone πŸ™‚ 

Post # 31
Member
265 posts
Helper bee

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@MissMarple:  

Yes, I’m hoping that the weather isn’t going to be too bad on Sunday or else our weekend plans could be canceled again.  He played some of the songs for me tonight that he’s going to play on Saturday at the celebration.  I love that it’s not going to be a funeral.  My aunt always wanted her death not to be a big thing.  I think she’d approve of a celebration since it’s highlighting what she did on this Earth.

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