(Closed) Waiting chat part 4!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 107
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Plantation

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@leisha606:  That’s too cute! Love that he said he would rather discuss that with someone else πŸ˜‰ Good for him! Fingers crossed he lands the job so you guys can get your butts in gear and see how it is to live with one another. I personally think that is very important!

 

I agree it is a good thing that he wants to surprise me BUT a timeline would be nice becuase then it would be easier to just shut it! I see a lot of the women on here talking about how they  discuss rings and even pick them out with their SO and THEN they surprise them with the proposal, I didn’t know so many couples did this!

My SO is very hard to talk to about this subject, we have talked about children, childrens names, what we want in life and even got a second rot puppy together last year, he will be one next month, as will our 2yr anniversary. BUT it is so hard to talk to him about this, he is true southern gentlemen and with that comes southern thinkin’ which is grand becuase I know he takes getting married VERY serious yet I feel like I’m walking on eggshells when talking about this ONE subject… oye vye!

Post # 108
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3083 posts
Sugar bee

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@love-a-lot-bee:  Yeah that is a tough one! I have debated having the “timeline” talk, but at the same time I do want the COMPLETE element of surprise and not stopping my heart everytime he bends down to tie his shoe around the time he is **suppose** to propose you know? Alot of Bees have a tough time during that part of the waiting phase.

But yes, I am also surprised how many Bees are involved with the proposal! I hope SO would know me enough to pick out a ring that is my style, but i think I would love it even more because he put time and thought into picking it out for me.

It is hard sometimes to talk about it with SO because he jokes a lot. It must be even harder with your SO when he gets very hush hush or irritated. I think that is very sweet that he thinks of your daughter as his own, I think that shows that he has every intention of committing to you guys. But what is the hold up hmm? Maybe he wants to make this move first and get into financial stability first? I know that is a huge thing for SO

Post # 109
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32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Plantation

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@smhh:  Hi! It sounds like you guys have a great agreement, don’t let others who tell you they don’t fancy long engagements effect your willingness to make the engagement last a little bit longer with your SO, especially if its becuase you BOTH agree that you would like to wait until you finish school. NOW on the other hand if you have decided that it is too long for your personally liking, that is a different story. Ya’ll have been together long enough to be able to sit down and talk to any changed feelings you may have about the subject! If you don’t mind my asking… has your outlook on the situation changed? 

 

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@leisha606: Good for you! Is being able to not have that talk for the suprise element hard for you? I know it is for me! I agree whole-heartedly yet understand why some are invovled, that’s the way there relationship ticks and every single one is different. But I too think that the SO should know me well enough to pick something that I would l.o.v.e!

It is pretty hard when he reacts that way but I understand he wants the surprise to be special for me. I have made a vow to myself to never bring it up again, at least for the next year.

I want the surprise just as bad as he wants to give it so I think shutting my bee-trap and keeping up with these boards to remind myself that its okay to wait and get the support from other waiting bees will help! We all know we’re in the same bee hive and it will happen, someday and hopefully sooner rather than later πŸ˜‰

 

Post # 110
Member
5 posts
Newbee

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@love-a-lot-bee: Thanks! I figure that I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him, so it just doesn’t make sense to us to squash a wedding into our already busy lives. Even if we got married sooner we wouldn’t be able to see each other any more often (we’re long distance because of university) or love each other any more. I imagine I probably get on his nerves with wedding babble though, I’m totally not rushing him into anything I just like talking about weddings!

Post # 111
Member
420 posts
Helper bee

I’m just writing a quick update here. My SO and I talked about our finances and it looks like he won’t be proposing before June this year as he had originally planned. I’m a little bummed at the moment, but it will be better for us to be engaged when the time is right financially.

Post # 113
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

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@LittleWigeon:  Hope you are well! I had kind of assumed you’d be engaged before your anni but is this not looking so likely anymore?

Sorry you aren’t feeling well though!

 

I have absolutely nothing to report ^^; been feeling a bit bummed that this time last year I was convinced it would happen before our 3rd anniversary and now that’s not too far away I’m not even confident it’ll happen before our 4th.

I did pluck up the courage to show him my dream ring and he said it was cute, not exactly much but I feel comforted that he knows (though he has probably forgotten it ever happened by now hurr)

Post # 115
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

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@LittleWigeon:  well then I will continue to cross my extremities for you in anticipation πŸ˜€ so exciting that you’re so close to being engaged!

Glad you’ve been able to get some rest as well πŸ™‚ 

 

Anniversary is 5th of April, so I have a little while until then πŸ™‚ I was so excited about what I wanted to get him that I ordered it a couple of weeks ago XD is your anniversary in April as well? I think there were a few of us who had that same month. 

 

It’s a second-hand ring, solitaire in gold with a bright blue sapphire and has some top detail around the sapphire in platinum. It’s pretty simple and affordable πŸ™‚ 

Post # 117
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32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Plantation

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@LittleWigeon:  I’m sorry you haven’t been feeling well! There has been alot of nasty colds on where I am, I just finshed the worst of the worst and still don’t feel 100% yet. I hope yours doesn’t last long!

It sounds like your SO is truly good at hiding it, especially if he’s told you it’s coming but you haven’t seen any “clues”. That must be so exciting.

 

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@MaidMarian:  That ring sounds beautiful! Congrats on mustering up the courage, I couldn’t even if I tried. I’ve been holding to my word and haven’t brought it up in awhile so I won’t do something like that for awhile.  

Have you and your SO discussed it before?

Post # 118
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

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@LittleWigeon:  that’s the problem with being an adult, you literally have to work to breaking point πŸ™

Ahh very close πŸ˜€ you guys made any plans? I got him the limited edition of a game series he likes, it’s a pretty nice package.

 

 

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@love-a-lot-bee:  Thank you πŸ˜€ tbh me telling him things like that involves a fair bit of mind reading on his part ^^; I act uncomfortable and shuffly for a while so he asks what’s wrong and then I kind of stammer around the topic for a bit XD

You part of the SUIP? Congrats on being able to keep quiet, I was doing well at that for a while and then I got fed up lol.

We’ve been talking about it for about a year now (hypothetically) which is why this time last year I thought we’d be somewhat closer to engagement by now, blah. How about you? I’m assuming you were talking about it, do you feel like it may be soon or at least within 2014?

Post # 119
Member
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

This has been a big week for us… we found out his brother is expecting another child (the very last, big oops child). We had a lot of serious chats about whether we should try to have kids before getting married as that’s what he wants to do. I keep saying I really want to get married first, and he understands.

Seems like we’re pretty landed on September 2015 for a wedding date…

We have people bugging us lots and found out some people we know got engaged last weekend. He made a comment on how cliche the proposal was… so I am pretty excited knowing that he wants to do something out of the ordinary!

We talked to his best friends out of town on the phone this morning and his friends wife said, “I thought you were calling to say you were engaged!!” I just gave him a look and we all had a good laugh. 

Things are definitely on his radar… and I’m thinking it’ll happen before the end of the summer (since buying a house shifted my original impression that it was going to happen last Fall). 

Post # 120
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

Super miserable right now. The dream ring I mentioned was second hand so since about June (which I think is when I first saw it but it may have been longer than that) I’ve been checking the page every few days or at least once a week to check it’s still there. Well guess what happens less than two weeks after I finally pluck up the courage to show BF, yeah, I looked this morning and it’s gone.

 

I’m mostly just annoyed at myself for being so stupid and setting myself up for disappointment.

But I’m also kind of annoyed with him because even though he was very sweet about everything he made two irksome comments. The first was that he asked if they were likely to get the ring back in stock… Hmm no, the website makes it quite obvious it’s a second hand dealer, so he definitely wasn’t paying much attention when I showed him (i think I even said it was second hand at the time). The second thing he said was to comment that he thtough I didn’t like blue and had showed him a red and/or green one :/ yeah no, I’ve only ever shown him the one ring, and when that happened I remember him saying something like he thought I preferred green, to which I responded that I’m not fond of emeralds nor rubys because I prefer transparent gems. So I really don’t know how he’s managed to fixate that I’d like something with a Christmas theme…

 

Sorry if this is long, I just really needed to ramble for a bit before work. Hope other bee’s are having a more encouraging week! X

Post # 121
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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@MaidMarian:  -hugs- I’m sorry love. That does sound a bit discouraging. I could try and tell you that he might be messing with you to throw you off, but it really doesn’t sound that way. Not to mention, I’d be furious. It’ll happen. I promise. I know how hard it is to wait and wait. -hugs-

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