(Closed) Waiting for 3 years so I left him today

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 18
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Tigerlily1973:  Good for you! You should feel so proud. Take it day by day and keep up the positive thoughts! You sound like a catch and there are millions of men out there who would be thrilled to land a woman with the confidence, courage and self respect you have!!!

Post # 20
Member
802 posts
Busy bee

@Tigerlily1973:  Hi! I just wanted to tell you that I too left a relationship of three years recently (it’s not even been a month) after spending the last year of it crying all the time and wishing and hoping for that next step to happen. My situation is a little different than yours in various ways, but gosh it was still so hard to take that step. Sooooooo hard. But you know what, you will be fine. I’m doing great – have started new hobbies and all kinds of adventures, and found that it is true that the world is filled with people who want the same things as you. Don’t give up, and stand up for what you believe in – marriage! Best of luck and you will make it through – if you doubt you can, well, look at my previous posts and you can see how miserable I was, and now I’m doing really, really great. Good luck!

Post # 21
Member
408 posts
Helper bee

Your story was very similar to mine. Only difference is ages. I left my guy after 5yrs. We are late 20s and lived apart. He lived with women before, I believed he was even engaged once at 19!

He had no troubles committing, but never could with me. I think with some men it isn’t necessarily about being ready or indifferent to commitment.

A lot of times they are just not with the right woman to make that leap. so instead of telling u this they drag it out, not having the guts to tell you the truth.

My ex would talk marriage and rings to me as well. He was a good carrot dangling expert. But once it came down to it, he did not want that with me. With the right guy you will never have to jump hoops.

You did the right thing. It sucks but you did the right thing. Go NC, lean on your support system. You never know how strongg you are until things like this happen. You will be fine. 

Post # 22
Hostess
4996 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I’m sorry you’re going through this but I think you did the right thing. Stay strong! 

Post # 23
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

I’m so sorry, but I am sure that you will find him! Just stop looking and he will pop right up!

Post # 24
Member
10222 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I think you are leaving for all of the right reasons.  I know it’s hideously painful , but it is healthy for you.

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 25
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You absolutely did the right thing! *hugs*  Stay strong! //  I called it quits with a ex of 2.5 years and he came back talking about rings/marriage.  I’m glad I stood my ground because I would probably be in an unhappy marriage with him.

Post # 26
Member
955 posts
Busy bee

Honestly it doesn’t sound like this was a great relationship for you anyways and you deserve better. Don’t let your age bother you. You did the right thing!

Post # 28
Member
955 posts
Busy bee

@Tigerlily1973:  You sound very smart and you should not contact him at all. I think you need to ask yourself that even if he comes back are you willing to just be with someone who isn’t pleasing you? He sounds like he is always half-assing it!

Post # 30
Member
408 posts
Helper bee

@Tigerlily1973:  it looks like you’re on the right track. It sucks to have someone throw you crumbs of marriage talk here and there with no action behind it and no intentions to step up.

My guy was very similar to yours, he would get my hopes up by telling me about rings he looked at,  the life he wanted after marriage. He’d tell me he was lucky to have me, how beautiful I was to him.

He hated the idea of me being with someone else but he never took any action to commit. Whenever I would take a break from him he would chase me. Ask me if I was seeing other guys. But do nothing to change our situation.

Truth is they’re only content with the status quo. They have no intention of really moving things forward. It’s all talk and nothing more. You’re a strong lady, I’m sure you know you deserve better than this, one day you will find better. Good luck.

Post # 31
Member
726 posts
Busy bee

@Tigerlily1973:  “I’m afraid he’d rather lose me than fight for me.” 


Honestly, he’s had 3 years to fight for you and this relationship. I think you’re absolutely doing the right thing in walking away and if he does come running back to you, I hope you don’t just take him back immediately because he needs to earn it. You sound like a very loving and patient lady, don’t let him take you for granted anymore. 

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