(Closed) waiting for first time after marriage but worried!

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

@myweddingbee:  it doesn’t necesserily hurt, but it will be worse if you get yourself wound up. Just relax and go with the flow…and enjoy yourself! You will probably enjoy the honeymoon practising, so to speak πŸ™‚ 

Post # 5
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

It’s natural to be a bit nervous, just try not to think about it and I’m sure it will be wonderful! X

Post # 6
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

it will probably hurt, and will may be awkard. there’s basically nothing you can really do about it besides the regular advice: go slow blah blah blah stuff.

it’s all about realistic expectations.

the upside: is after a number of times, it feels good, and better, and it becomes less awkward in time.

Post # 7
Member
9198 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Trust me, he’ll enjoy it! It probably won’t feel super great for you, but it will just get better and better the more you do it. 

Post # 8
Member
4950 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

First time sex is awkward, not comfortable and really,.. afterwards you’ll probably be like “was that what the big deal was about?” Like others have said, don’t pressure yourself or him, and as you get more practice it will get better. .. and better. 

Post # 9
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I didn’t think my first time ‘hurt’, it just felt weird. Make sure there is lube!

Post # 10
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@HappySky7:  +1 

People had made the first time to be the most amazing wonderful thing, and it is amazing and wonderful and special if it is with someone you care about…. but it is NOT this earth shattering experience that leaves you wanting more, actually for me, the first four or five times were soooo dissappointing, I mean, its hard to explain. Because you feel this closeness and connection that you cant compare, but I was expecting this marvelous thing (you know like in the movies) and it wasnt, it was awkward and uncomfortable and not exactly pleasureable because it hurt some and well, I was freaking out lol. Afterwards however, when we both got into it, yeah pretty amazing.

 

I would recommend reading/studying up (fyi cosmo is NOT a great source for education) so that you can try to skip over the awkwardness stage quicker. It os especially useful for him, because it is easier for guys than it is for girls, and the guy is in charge of it being good for the girls. And its important for both of you to participate (imagine my shock when I discovered I was supposed to do more than just lay there lol). Also, and this will probably gross you out but it works and makes things better, use some extra lube, especially if you’re using condoms, being nervous does not help with the natural fluids that are supposed to happen and if you’re dry it HURTS, not because it is the first or second or third time but because it hurts!

But it wont ruin your honeymoon at all! Its your honeymoon!!! Its more than just the sex, it is you guys being MARRIED!!! and yourp’re on vacation!!! It is going to be awesome because of that, this new experience is going to be an awesome bonus!!!

Post # 11
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

I won’t lie, the first time will probably hurt. If you’re comfortable having him use his fingers or a dildo/vibrator on you now that might help get all your parts used to penetration. And use lube. Lots of lube. πŸ™‚ Each time after that gets better and better though, so remember, there’s nowhere to go but up!

Post # 12
Member
4950 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@minipenguin:  Well exactly.

I wouldn’t build it up into this big thing, because it’s really not. Just let things happen naturally. 

My first time did not hurt, just ftr. I bled a bit. Honestly, dont worry about it.

Post # 13
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Keep your expectations low. That sounds horrible, but nerves can totally wreck an evening. Try to take it slow, and remember – you have your WHOLE LIVES to improve πŸ˜‰

Post # 14
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It might hurt a little bit, but it certainly won’t ruin your honeymoon. If you stress out about it that may make it worse since things will tighten up down there, so maybe have a glass of wine together to relax a little.

Post # 15
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Not that this is the same thing at all, but with a previous boyfriend, I decided to wait until we went on a certain planned trip together before we had sex (he was my first). I was nervous the whole time leading up because I was so nervous it would ruin our vacation if it hurt, but it totally didn’t ruin anything. if anything, I’ll never forget that trip.

It doesn’t exactly hurt, but it was uncomfortable.. Make sure you bring lube!! I also bled afterwards after my first few times, so be prepared for that. Also, don’t be expecting this major orgasmic experience until you guys become comfortable with what you’re doing. Also, just another note, since your Fiance has never done this before he probably isn’t going to last long, so expect that. 

 

 

Post # 16
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@HappySky7:  This. All of this.

 

Edit: My first time hurt like hell, did not bleed at all though. It was also with another virgin and was awkward awkward awkward and very painful. Obviously this isn’t true for everybody. But the more you do it, the better it will be, especially when it’s with the same person and they know you and your body.

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