(Closed) waiting- for him

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@mcklough:  I don’t think they think of it as waiting…. it’s not time now, so…. no point in wondering when it’s going to be… they have the control in this situation, it’ll happen when it happens because they choose to make it happen.

Post # 4
Member
298 posts
Helper bee

Haha… I like this perspective!  Men have it EASY!  They hold all the cards.  If they knew what we go through, they would propose sooner.  My logic is, if I am the one for you, why do you need to WAIT to make it official?  If I see something I like at the store, I don’t return in 6 months to buy it!

 

Post # 5
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Mrs. Harmony:  ahah I know. I’m not happy about this situation, but I definitely think that’s where they’re coming from… that’s why you can’t get a good answer about how waiting makes them feel 1) they’re not waiting in their heads and 2) that whole feely question… at least my guy isn’t so excited about looking deep and sharing those feely words haha

Post # 6
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Mrs. Harmony:  Also, unless it goes on sale. haha

Post # 7
Member
298 posts
Helper bee

@love108:  Hahaha… when I left my son’s dad after not having a proposal after 4 years, I said “I put myself on sale for you for 2+ years (the amount of time I was “waiting” for a proposal) and I am done!”.  I guess putting yourself on sale doesn’t get you a ring either, huh?  Wink

 

Yeah, my boyfriend is actually pretty emotional for a guy, which means he’s slightly more emotional than a stool sample!  LOL

Post # 9
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

HAha I meant when a ring goes on sale, but yeah…

Post # 10
Member
659 posts
Busy bee

All he’s said to me is that it’s stressful for him.

Post # 11
Member
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Waterfall: Yep, that’s all I heard. It’s stressful for him because believe it or not, it’s his guy friends that were pressuring him! They talked about engagement and marriage even more than I did, and I talked about it A LOT!

I didn’t understand the whole “I’m waiting for the right time” reason, and I still don’t. I mean Fiance waited for the right time to actually propose, he had to move it one day later than when he was planning on doing it. But at least he had the ring and everything. Most guys say “I’m waiting for the right time” and they have nothing planned!

Post # 12
Member
659 posts
Busy bee

@KeeKalena:  His guy friends were pressuring him too (maybe they still are and I just don’t know about it). I don’t understand the waiting for the right time reason either.

Post # 13
Member
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Waterfall: I guess it’s just the best answer they could come up with? You know how guys can be sometimes.

Post # 14
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee

I asked my brother, and he said that as soon as he pops the question the woman is going to go “Squee!!” and tell the whole world that he proposed, and suddenly the relationship is public property and everyone wants to see the ring and poke their noses into the relationship and the wedding plans, and a lot of times the guy feels pushed out and overwhelmed. The woman immediately launches into planning an engagement party, buying dresses, finding the perfect invitations, planning colour schemes, looking at venues… it’s like her and her mom and girlfriends just take over the relationship and the guy has no control and is just along for the ride. He said he doesn’t want to ride that rollercoaster.

I must admit, from that perspective it doesn’t sound a whole lot of fun for the guy. My brother said he’s ready for marriage… he just isn’t ready for a wedding. He said it’s partly because of the expense, and partly because he feels like their relationship will become too public and he’ll be dragged onto the wedding rollercoaster.

I guess I can understand what he means. How many of you girls just want to be married, and how many want a ring and a wedding? Are the ring and wedding so important to you? Would you be happy to have the marriage without the ring or the wedding?

Post # 15
Member
716 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t think they necessarily have it easy per se… in our “joke proposals” which is to say we tell each other nearly everyday we want to marry each other he’ll sometimes tell me that he wants me to propose for real cause it would take some pressure off of him — the ring, making it special, etc.  Even though our real one won’t be for a bit, I know Boyfriend or Best Friend is already stressed about making it perfect… I think a lot of them are worried about that and want to make sure they don’t disappoint us. It’s a precarious balance of making us wait just enough to make it special and them driving us nuts…

Post # 16
Member
5371 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

He told me it’s stressful and hard for him to see me so upset when in his head he knows it’ll be great. He said it’s something exciting and special and he’s been waiting to do it too just like I’ve been waiting for it, so it’s something he doesn’t want it to be rushed or less than perfect.

To be honest, I’d probably feel the same way if I was in his shoes. It’s a lot of money to spend on someone else and a lot of planning goes into it.

ETA: I’ve been waiting a year and a half if that helps to put my response into perspective (:

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