(Closed) waiting for marriage : the truth

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mirabell35:  I didn’t wait but my first time also didn’t hurt and I didn’t bleed…it felt good but I didn’t orgasm until we had some more practice under the belt (haaaa!).  When you feel 100% comfortable with your guy and feel emotionally ready, the physical part is generally going to go smoother.  Good luck waiting ladies, you’ll love it!

Post # 4
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think my piece of advice would be : make sure your decision to wait is mututal and it is your own. I’ve come across SOOO many people who semi-resent the fact that their parents believe it’s a sin to do anything (even kiss) before marriage but blindly fall into the trap of following along and not questioning this. i think this can be dangerous and also may prevent true intimacy from developing into a healthy marriage in time. 

 DH and I waited to have sex and my advice would be to take is slow as well. Our story is a bit different because we are both sexual abuse survivors. So…. there wasn’t nearly as much of a struggle for us to ‘stay pure’. The days and weeks following our wedding were hard, full of triggers and pain and tears but it was worth it. We were willing to work with each other and slowly regain some happiness into our sexual relationship that further healed all the scars we both had because of our pasts.

Post # 5
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I didn’t wait until marriage either. My first time was awkward, to say the least lol. It did hurt quite badly and I did bleed. Didn’t help that I also was not mentally ready to lose my virginity…

Post # 8
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@mirabell35:  how is her story not relevant? Just because she wasn’t married yet? Your comment is pretty condescending and rude to DBD – IIRC, she WAS with the man she eventually married.

Ugh, I waited for marriage and even I don’t get why some people get so judgemental toward those who don’t.

Post # 9
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@mirabell35:  no, this is WRONG. You can still be immature, uncomfortable, or be with a jerk when you get married.

 

 

Post # 11
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@mirabell35:  I don’t feel that marriage has anything to do with the first time having been comfortable and whatnot. Just saying.

Sex before and after marriage can be exactly the same. Making a distinction here just makes you seem elitist.

Post # 12
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@mirabell35:  I’ve seen your past posts and can clearly tell here that you are definitely judging women who have sex before marriage. And I have read DBD’s previous posts.

Perhaps if you had waited for marriage, you’d have felt more comfortable with someone you knew very well and loved enough to commit your whole life to, you’d have had a very different experience.


Yeah.

Post # 14
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

The very first comment on this thread is from someone else who didn’t wait until marriage either, but her post all happiness and therefore alright, right?

I don’t see how waiting until marriage makes some pain and some bleeding competely impossible. Sex shouldn’t be scary and really it isn’t at all! I was just sharing the truth about what my first time was like. I didn’t realize that wasn’t allowed. I’ll leave now.

Post # 15
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I know people who waited that had to really work on things a LOT before sex got good. So it’s not like waiting is going to guarantee some magical amazing first time. Having unrealistic expectations either way is probably not a good idea.

Post # 16
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

The first time I had sex it was amazing, because I had been masturbating for years by that point, so I knew what it felt like and wasn’t scared or uncomfortable at all.

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