- 8 years ago
Hi bees, I’m a newbie – just found these boards while struggling with the “wait” and appear to be driving myself crazy in the mean time. The support here is amazing kind of glad to see I’m not the only one that wants my boyfriend to propose already! So here is my LOOONNNG story…… I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2.5 years and living together for nearly 1.5 years. I have a daughter from a previous relationship of 6 years where my ex had me convinced he wanted to marry me until during my pregnancy he told me he didn’t want me anymore & left me for someone else despite living with him for over 5 years. So since then the last thing I wanted to do is waste years with a man that doesn’t genuinely want to marry me. So when I met my SO nearly 3 years ago we had the talk pretty much straight away & I was clear that I didn’t want to invest years only to be disappointed so we’d have to be on the same page. He too had previously been in a 4 year relationship and said he felt the same way. So fast forward to a year later we were discussing moving in together which involved having a big talk because for me it would involve basically up rooting mine and my daughters life so I had to feel sure that it was for my future husband. So we agreed that we needed to see if we could live as a family because weekends are different to full time especially when it involves a 1.5 year old(now 3) after living together for 6 months he would know in his heart if this was for him and then by our 2nd anniversary he would make his intentions clear with a proposal. A few months before 2nd anniversary we went abroad where he told me how much he loved me and wanted to marry me (this was nearly a year ago) on return took me window shopping for a ring so I felt sure it was coming and then on our 2nd anniversary nothing! I asked him and he simply said he wanted to do it right but wished that he had proposed on our 2nd anniversary. So I let it go because I thought ok well then it must be coming soon but then it has been a further 5 months and nothing. I asked him if he still wanted it and he pleaded with me to believe him that he wants it and to be honest from his actions and how amazing he is with my daughter, family and his future plans for us. After I questioned him the next weekend he took me ring shopping and bought the engagement ring I picked. But that was 6 weeks ago & he still hasn’t proposed!? I don’t understand why. When I asked he said he felt it wasn’t romantic enough and wants to do it right and as a romantic surprising proposal……but we’ve had date nights etc & no proposal. All I know is the ring will come this year but I’d go crazy waiting another few months. In the meantime we’ve talked weddings- ideas & picked a date together for next year. So the wait is driving me insane. I’m finding myself getting angry with him for the smallest things and being disappointed with every day that passes. I need tips to stop allowing the frustration of not having the ring yet interfere with our day to day life…..I think about it everyday and get annoyed he hasn’t proposed yet – it’s frustrating knowing my my SO has bought me a ring but I don’t have it……..it tempts me to give harsh ultimatums but I know he’s a great genuine person, I love him – so does my daughter and he us. Plus I don’t want to do that to him or myself…I just need support to find patience & not feel so crazy…….