Waiting frustration, long distance edition

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

You’re amazing and you’ve a great guy. Is there any chance that he’d agree to booking things pre-engagement?  I also get the cultural issues too. Keep plugging along. Comparison is meant to be the thief of joy but it’s so hard not to compare with peers.

Post # 4
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I can feel with you, i hated the waiting time. But i think it´s actually a very good sign that he already told you he will do it in fall. I dated my now husband almost 7 year and we were already living together for over 6,5 years before we got married, no proposal, no engagement time. Sometimes men do need more time than we do and i think you just need to give him this half year and let him do the proposal in his timeframe

Post # 5
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

Hi Bee,

I know it’s hard waiting, but that’s why you have us to vent to!

And it sounds like your engagement is coming fairly soon, so that is very exciting! Sounds like you’re a planner (like me…I love a good spreadsheet), so have you picked out a ring, or tried on different styles? It might be something to do while in the waiting period. Unless your SO wants to completely surprise you with it.

Also, even though my SO and I live together, I understand not wanting to buy nicer furniture because you’ll end up replacing it when you live together anyway. What about treating yourself/your place to one quality piece of furniture/artwork/kitchen appliance? That might be a nice way for you to enjoy this period a little more. I bought a KitchenAid stand mixer that I’d been wanting for YEARS…and it is so useful!

And unrelated, but I’ve read some of your previous posts, and do you mind if I ask what you do for a living? I think you mentioned moving to another city (state?) after marriage and looking for work in your new hometown. Maybe think about connecting with employers in your field ahead of time?

Honestly, it sounds like your life is full and well-rounded! Keep enjoying your hobbies and your proposal will be here soon enough!

Post # 6
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I feel you!  I have been with my bf for over 7 years and am pretty much the last of my friends to get married.  It has been super frustrating and we’ve been long distance the last 3+ years which makes it worse.  I just want to be married and live our everyday lives together!  Luckily we recently decided when we wanted (when he wanted because I had been ready for a while) to get married.  So even though we aren’t engaged yet we have started the wedding planning process.  This has made me feel better and more content with our situation but it’s still killing me to wait for the ring!  I know deep down that the wait has been, and will be worth it. It’s just hard to see that in the moment.

Post # 7
Member
7917 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Have you thought about taking a break from weddingbee? I can see how reading threads about engagements and weddings could just make things worse. Just keep on keeping on. It sounds you have a full life even without an engagement.

Thought we had talked about marriage, Darling Husband was ready to propose sooner than I’d expected initially. It’s nice to not have expectations about that stuff and to just be pleasantly surprised. 

Post # 8
Member
280 posts
Helper bee

I’m right there with you. Long distance of 1300 miles. 4 years together. It’s a lot harder than it sounds to keep your mind off of wanting to be engaged, isn’t it? Only 35 more days until I get to see my boyfriend again! 

Post # 9
Member
4269 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Look, being engaged and getting married is just the next step.  It is special, absolutely, but it isn’t the end-all, be-all that a lot of people who are “waiting” seem to think it is.  Your life isn’t on hold.  You have a good relationship.  You have a timeline.

I will say I have noticed you have posted a LOT about wedding planning on here.  Not that you should go away from Weddingbee completely, but if this is making you this upset, maybe taking a step back and stop asking about showers and rings and weddings.  I think that would be good for you.

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