Post # 1
Ok am I alone in this feeling?
I feel like I have been waiting for so long, and getting so much crap from other people about how we aren’t engaged yet, that when it finally does happen, it’s just going to be like a burden lifted rather than a feeling of suprise and excitement.
Don’t get me wrong I know I am going to be absolutely thrilled and on cloud nine.
But does any one else feel like they have been waiting so long that it is sucking some of the joy/excitement from their pending engagement. That maybe it would have been a little bit more exciting if you hadn’t had time to feel discouraged or frustrated by all the waiting.
Does that make sense or are these thoughts/feelings completely off the wall/out of line?
Post # 3
You’re not alone at all! I even told the bf to please hurry up and do it while I’d be totally happy, and not just think, “finally!” I try to keep quiet about those feelings because I don’t want them to make him any less excited about proposing, but they are definitely there.
Post # 4
Girl let me tell you. You are NOT alone! I’m so there it’s ridiculous. SO and I have been together 4 years. And he HAS THE RING…and has had it for almost 10 weeks. I’m dying here!!! My last post was entitled “waiting w/o excitement”. This wait has sucked so much out of me joy wise. At times I don’t even feel excited about getting engaged anymore. Which sucks and is hurtful because I’ve always wanted to look forward to and cherish that moment. It makes me resent SO sometimes because it’s like if he was on top of it and just surprised me BEFORE the whole waiting phase began then we wouldn’t have this problem. So AMEN to this statement
“But does any one else feel like they have been waiting so long that it is sucking some of the joy/excitement from their pending engagement.”
@KatM: I too think that when it happens I’ll be like “about [email protected] time!” although I don’t want to be like that.
Post # 5
I know what you mean, and other people giving you crap really isn’t helping! It’s a frustrating position to be in, and the last thing you need is people reminding you of that. I’ve been with my guy almost 8 years now, and when we got back from a vacation to Europe this summer everyone, and I mean everyone, asked if we were engaged/ wanted to see the ring. It doesn’t help me feel optimistic when I’m let down and have to keep repeating that.
Hang in there, and try to stay excited about other things in your life to keep your mind off of it =)
Post # 6
Wow. I completely agree with everything you girls have said! I swear when he does it.. and gets ready to do it I’m just going to think “Wow.. it’s about time.”
However, I’m really trying to think positively and trying to think exciting thoughts… form of cognitive behavioral therapy in counseling. If you change your thoughts, you’ll change your moods, and ultimately your behavior!
I also just went and bought a really pretty new nail polish, and my nails look good! 😀
Post # 7
I can’t say that I’ve been waiting “so long,” but I am starting to get more and more “When are you guys getting married” and “How is your finace?” (response: Ummm, he’s not my finace yet…) and “Why aren’t you engaged yet?” from people. It’s super frustrating! Like I’m not wondering the same things! And like its not constantly on my mind. I tried to stop thinking about it but that doesn’t really help.
One thing I did do – which I referred to as pathetic, but my SO said was cute – was add a widget to my phone. It’s one of those “how many days until” countdowns – set to December 31st since he said by the end of the year. It kinda helps seeing it tick down every day and knowing that I’m that much closer! (102 days as of today – in case anyone was wondering )
Post # 8
OMG YES! I feel like I’ve been waiting forever, mostly because the “will be engaged by” deadline was pushed back a few years ago. I got anxious back then, then disapointed, then anxious again but with that bitter sting of “it was pushed back before”, and on top of it all my family Won’t. Let. Up. About it, while his entire family (and a bunch of my friends) gets engaged/married/pregnant all at once. 😐 I’ve honestly had days where I just want him to DO IT already so my mother will SHUT. UP. ALREADY.
Last year, I reached the point where I have ceased wanting a wedding at all. After almost 8 years, there’s no ‘romantic suprise’ left. We live together, we pool resources, are treated by most as a unit and make decisions as a unit, I really just want it on freakin’ paper already so I can get on his insurance and that’s about it.
(sorry I started to derail, but venting, it feels good. I think that’s why a lot of us are here.)
Post # 9
I feel the same way. We’ve been together 7 years and I feel that by the time he does do it I won’t even really care anymore. Like it will be like, thanks now what do you want to do? lol I’ll be sooo happy once he actually does it but I do get those days when I just feel like I’m over it already.
Post # 10
So glad to know I am not alone. I am totally having one of those days today where I am just sick of it all and feeling like why does it even matter. We share every aspect of our lives together. It’s not like anything will change so why does it even matter. =| ugh hate these moods.