(Closed) Waiting Funk

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

My best advise is to show some SPINE (not that you don’t, but up the anty)! F* this brizilla. How dare she blow up at you and have such low class as to deny you the right to plan for your eminent wedding! Brush this off your shoulders. Stand straight and Let this woman show her true colors. Then evaluate your relationship with her when your Maid/Matron of Honor duties are fulfilled. But now is a great time to shuffle some of the responsibility to the other bridesmaids.
“Well why do you not want to do this for the bride anymore”
“Because she was being a Bitch and blew up at me for no reason.”

Post # 5
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

@AmpersandStyle:  I know waiting gets hard. especially when other people are getting married. 

I personally would not try on wedding dresses at the next fitting. 1) it’s bad luck & 2) you may be opening yourself up for more snarky remarks. You wouldn’t want to be in a dress, as a waiting bee and have the bride make some shitty remark. Even if she insist, don’t do it. it will be walking into an attack. You are the Maid/Matron of Honor for this shindig. 

I know you love your BFF but some women become different people when they become brides.

Just take note of what you like. your time will come

Post # 6
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

try to focus on the positive. when you get engaged, you will have learned a lot from helping her plan her wedding. her dress will be bought, so you won’t accidentally buy the same dress!! when your engagement happens, you can have your own hoopla and spot lights since the newness of hers will have faded away. I know it is hard– i’m Maid/Matron of Honor right now and I wish I had a ring too. Things happen for a reason. At least that’s what I’m telling myself!! I’m actually telling myself all the stuff i said up there!

Post # 9
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

Do you understand what your SO means by “trying” to propose? This is confusing to me. If it’s simply the matter of affording the ring, it seems like it wouldn’t take too many months for him to earn the $200 for the ring you showed him. I am surprised that he wouldn’t be able to assure you that he can do it before the year ends.

Since this seems like the ring cost is not much of a hurdle, I wonder what other issues might really explain why he is delaying the proposal and is “tryiing”. Is it that he wants to be more financially secure (pay off debts, have an emergency fund built up, or have savings for the wedding)? If so, discussing those goals openly between the two of you might help you understand his reasoning and alleviate any disappointment about when he’s planning to propose. It might even mean that you would need to delay the wedding, if he feels unable to meet those financial goals in time for a proposal and wedding next year. If that’s the case, and if I were you, I’d want to know so that I could adjust my expectations. Or maybe discussing these issues, you two can find solutions together that can speed things up. I hope things work out for you two soon!!

 

Post # 10
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@AmpersandStyle:  I was Maid/Matron of Honor in my friend’s wedding and being surrounded by wedding stuff when you want to be engaged is tough for any body!! I tried to just be happy for her and remember that it would be my turn (hopefully soon!!).  She also blew up at me the day before her wedding in front of the bridal party and was a total nasty bridezilla… something I will keep in mind when I am selecting my bridesmaids!  

In terms of your SO, it seems like you are on the same page.  It’s funny bc last week I was having this same discussion with my SO (who has had a really tough year economically) and he wants to try to propose over my winter break.  He told me the same thing; “I’m trying.”  I think trying is not only about money.  Even if a ring is relatively inexpensive, part of the proposal may take money or a great deal of thought and planning.  Try to be patient and hopefully your turn will be very very soon!!  I’m trying to get out of my funk by working out more and NOT watching wedding shows- just too painful!! Good luck!!

Post # 11
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

DO. NOT. try on dresses at your friend’s appointment.

It will end badly… lol…. As much as she says she may be okay with it, realistically, when you have the dress on… she’s likely to change her mind.

While looking for my wedding dress, one of my bridesmaids decided to lookk at dresses for herself (she’s not even engaged!!!!!!). I was soooooo mad, and hurt.

In the mean time.. try not to focus so much on not being engaged. It really isn’t a big deal… although it may feel like the end of the world right now. Realistically, what will change when you’re engaged? A title? and the ability to wedding plan— aka spend insane amounts of money. If your SO is having trouble saving up for you ring, I’m sure you can imagine the hardships an expensive wedding is going to cost. Give it some more time, and in the mean time.. enjoy helping your friend plan.. It’s all the fun, without any of the stress, and it costs you nothing!

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