Post # 1
This is to nobody in particular. Just a general suggestion for those waiting or wondering.
Remember to not just wait, be sure to grow as an individual. Do some things without your partner and gain some experiences outside of the relationship. Do something that interests you, even if your partner isn’t interested in participating. Make a list of things you want to see, do, experience. Get to know yourself. Sometimes a different perspective can help you to decide if it is even worth waiting. Even when you don’t feel like it, do it. Your time is your own. I always ask, if I were to die tomorrow, would I want this to be how I spent my year? You only get so many summers, use them wisely. Remember to do a check in with yourself regarding the relationship “Is this relationship nurturing me?” and be honest with yourself. It is hard to leave a relationship but it is also hard to look back at the years spent with that feeling of want that consumes some peoplle while they wait. I’ve been there.
Post # 2
This is good advice. Too often, women throw themselves too much into our relationships. We fall in love with what could be not what is. It’s ok to be selfish and put yourself first (I mean obviously within reason, I’m not advocating a**hole behavior). And yes, what your partner does during the waiting period shows you who they are.
Until you are married to someone, don’t be devoted to them like a wife. Let them earn that kind of devotion.
Post # 3
YES! Great advice here. I see it in some of the girls here and I was the same way in a previous relationship. I saw the “potential” future and fell in love with that. When he didnt live up to it I didnt want to face that reality. I stayed far too unhappy for far too long.
Post # 4
I keep hearing this advice everywhere and it is indeed true but don’t we all know this anyway? The problem is that some people’s brain (me included) keeps being focused on the things that are most important to us at that moment. I really want to find a new job (get into a different industry) but for that you need to be confident, excited, focused and all that but my “waiting” (even though it literally just started lol) takes up a lot of space so I can’t give my whole self to a job hunting process. Easier said than done. I wish I could and I tried but I am that kind of person who prefers to focus on what’s important to me now, at this moment. Yes, growing is important and I feel like we keep growing every day (seeing, learning new things) It never stops, but focusing on it while “waiting” is making the whole process harder for me. To each its own. Different approaches work for different people