(Closed) Waiting! How are you girls handling it?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
9 posts
Newbee

My ring is DONE, picked up, and just sitting there.  I CAN’T WAIT!

i think becasue we’ve picked it out together (well, we picked out the diamond, band and i’ve shown him which settings i like), he wants me to have some sort of a surprise.  Although he is extremely excited as well and talks about it everyday…which doesn’t help me either.  i think it’s soon though,  he can barely contain himself!

were not pushing (if they don’t seem to mind all the wedding/ering talk), were just super excited!!!  ๐Ÿ™‚

 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Sometimes you have to be pushy. I decided a few months ago that if my Boyfriend or Best Friend hadn’t proposed by February 29, that we would sit down and have a serious talk about where our relationship was going. By Feb. 29, my ring finger was still naked as the day I was born, so we had a little talk something along these lines:

me: So I just wanted to check in, I know we said we’d get engaged after living together after a year, and if we were going to majorly deviate, we’d talk about it. It’s been a year and a half. Are we deviating? Or where is this whole thing going?

Boyfriend or Best Friend: Well it’s not that I don’t want to be engaged, it’s that I don’t know how to go about it. How am I supposed to ask your parents? You said you wanted to pick out a ring, so am I like supposed to propose with no ring, then we pick one out or just go shopping, I’ll buy the ring and then give it to you? I dunno I’m all confused?!?!

me: Well why don’t we just start by just looking at rings to get an idea of how much one will be and what not and go from there.

We went ring shopping that Saturday, Boyfriend or Best Friend put a deposit down not last Saturday but the Saturday before that. And last week the jeweler we bought the ring from called to say it’s ready.

Now I’m just waiting for Boyfriend or Best Friend to ask my parents’ blessing and officially propose with the ring!

Post # 6
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

my nam has been teasing me about a present for 3 months… He keeps saying things like “it has to be the perfect time” and “i can’t belive you haven’t found it in the apartment yet”, follwed up by “it’s not that great” and “it’s not actually in the house”. in between now and the beginning of the teasing has been our first vacation together (a cruise), and valentines day, as well as a plethora of other excellent times to let me finally know what the heck it is!

the only helpful tidbit he has given me is that he ordered it, it came in the mail and it was wrong, so he had to return it to get the right one.

ARGH! i don’t think it’s a ring based on the discussions we have had, but i can’t figure out what the heck else it could be!

Post # 7
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@lolabean:  Date twins!

I’m doing better with the waiting now that he’s almost done paying the ring. Things were a little strained for a minute, but that’s all gone now. We went on Valentine’s Day to just look and price. Turns out we found the ring that night, but he didn’t have enough for our nice dinner/movie, a ring, and money to get to work and back for the week. We went back two weeks later and he payed the down payment. It’s 2/3 payed off now, and as of next week, he should have it in his possession!

I don’t have a problem waiting now. the only thing that bothered me before was if we would get married and now it’s a matter of when. I now know he’s really serious, so I feel much more confident in our relationship. It’s all very exciting at this point!

Post # 8
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Mrs. Bear Cheese Pie:  I totally agree that the waiting gets a LOT easier once the IF turns into a WHEN. 


I was at my wit’s end until last night when we finally had a serious talk about where things were going.  SO set a “timeline” of sorts last March, by saying that he thought it would be good to get engaged “around March 2012″…but I was getting frustrated and confused because all he talks about lately is buying a new car!  To me that sounded like “I’m spending the money I’ve saved on a car, instead of a ring.” I was feeling really down and confused so I had to find out what was going on in his head.

Now that I know he has everything under control and actually has been thinking about proposing, I’m much more calm and collected.  Turns out he actually has been starting to plan and hasn’t mentioned it because he wants it to be a surprise!  I’m still ridiculously excited, but having the peace of mind that it’s coming sooner rather than later is definitely helping my ability to be patient.

Post # 9
Member
224 posts
Helper bee

I think I’m doing pretty well now! In 2 weeks we should be able to put down the desposit on the venue (we’re booking it before the engagement to make sure we definitely get it!).

So technically we are engaged… but I won’t tell anyone until I have a ring. I don’t want all the questions and I’d rather just wait. So in that essence I’m still waiting, as I can’t even discuss it with my mother!

I’ll get a ring in the next 6 months. When, what, why, where or how – I don’t know. So that will be the complete surprise and I’m happy with that.

So for the time being – I’m getting myself in shape! Whilst most brides to be strive to look good in their wedding pics – I want to look good in my engagement pics. So the longer I wait for a ring – the more time I have to tone up a bit.

Still – roll on September!!

Post # 10
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It makes me laugh to think that I’m “waiting”.   My bf and I have been talking about marriage since about 2 months into our relationship and I was honestly scared he was going to propose!   I told him he had to wait 6 months at least.  Now its been 8 and while I know thats not a lot, I’m really starting to get antsy about it happening!  Especially since my best friend just told me she thinks she will be engaged by summer (and they have only been dating since December!)

I’m trying to keep my crazy in check but sometimes I want to just ask him “OK when is this happening so I can prepare!) ๐Ÿ˜›

But at least I’m not like my friend who told her bf that if he doesn’t propose by April she is kicking him out of her house…..  granted this is like the 18th ultimatim she’s given him in six years…

Post # 11
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

argh! I’m not doing well with the waiting either! It’s so bad. One of my besties got married in August, and it started from there. We went to Paris in October, and NOTHING! I was devastated, to say the least Frown . The wedding fever got even worse lately because my other bestie just got married.

And I try so hard not to compare my relationship with anyone elses, but i was feeling like “well damn if they can get it together enough to get married, why can’t we?”

He’s in school so I get that maybe he needs to focus on that. He graduates in July and he’s been talking about buying a new car, even though his is only 4 years old…I’m a little annoyed by that, because he even said that he’d just save a couple grand from a few paychecks to put down on the car. We’re going to Hawaii in September, and during that trip, we’ll be celebrating our 7 year anniversary. I kinda have a feeling that he’ll pop the question while we’re there…he said something really odd the other day about finding diamonds at a volcano or something like that…I’m trying not to read too much into it, but I mean come on! How can I not read into it. So…yeah I’m trying NOT to push and prod, but I do talk hypothetically about a lot of things, and he seems to engage my conversations. I guess I haven’t freaked him out too much ๐Ÿ™‚ sorry this is so long..

Post # 12
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Mrs. Bear Cheese Pie:  and @SaraB2602:  The IF vs WHEN thing…hit the nail on the head!  I wasn’t handling waiting very well at before we had a serious talk about things.  We always had mentions of when we’re old and grey together, but never about the near future.  I didn’t realize how stressful it was holding back and feeling like I was hiding something from him when I thought about our wedding.  Now when something about weddings pops into my head I share it with him, move on, and don’t dwell on it.  So much easier!  I feel like I’m able to fully enjoy our time together because I’m not holding back and worrying about that.

Post # 13
Member
3246 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@SaraB2602:  Oh my, I know how you felt, like “what?!? he’s buying this expensive thing and not thinking about a ring!?”

I’m glad that wasn’t true, and everything is working out for you! ๐Ÿ™‚

ETA: I’m not doing too well with the waiting thing either. I wrote a very very long post complaining about it last night. I’m thinking I’m probably still a lot more ready than my boyfriend is, but who knows, I guess guys can be rather cagey about it all.

I want to show him rings I like but am worried about money. . . bleccch. Doesn’t help that I’m an impatient person!

Post # 14
Member
3246 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@Kit_Kath:  Yes, I think I am going through exactly what you were– it is awfully stressful to have to hold in all your fun and exiciting thoughts about engagement and marriage because you’re worried about what your man will think. Blah.

Post # 15
Member
6019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

I dont look at my situation as “pushing” lol I look at it as being brutally honest about your expectations. My SO and I were together for 6 years before so we werent exactly new. So this second time around, it was much easier to know for sure if this is what we both wanted. We were sure from basically the first day we were back together. So I made it clear from the beginning that I had limits and that I had a max of 2 years for a proposal. Around xmas we talked more at length and decided it was time to get serious and plan for an engagement to happen sooner rather than later. That was only about 3 months into us being together again. I am now really in the final stretch of wating. All I was allowed to know is that it will happen before the end of march. I dont know what the ring will look like or when exactly or how exactly it will happen so this is just killing me as march drags on!

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