Post # 1
My name is Sarah. I’m not new to waiting but am new to this board:)
Boyfriend or Best Friend and I went to look at rings wayyyyy back in February. A few different things have come up and the engagement continues to be pushed back farther and farther. We have been together just over 5 years. A few weeks ago there was some discussion on concerns around the actual commitment of marriage. I believe we have worked through that. At this point I have told my bf that I’m not looking for the surprise factor because it’s more upsetting not knowing what’s going on.
We had planned to get engaged this summer. Well clearly Fall is approaching. ugh. and no ring. We had some financial issues come up and now he is kind of back to the drawing board. If it was up to him he would wait another 5 years to make it exactly perfect. He wants to get me my dream ring and have this dream proposal he has thought up.
I have told him that I’m past the point of ready:) He’s finally coming to grips that if he waits until everything is prefect we might just wait forever.
Here are a few things I suggested instead of getting the dream ring.
-Getting a nice setting with a sapphire, and someday down the road getting me the ring he wants and wearing the sapphire on the right hand
-Getting just the wedding band and then the ring before the wedding..So backwards.
-Getting a CZ ring. He vetoed that already though.
Is it weird that I’m the one coming up with the suggestions? I just think that if I give him suggestions then he knows that he won’t be letting me down if we choose a simpler way for now.
This engagement is so important to him that it goes “right”. We have several other things in our relationship that have gone completely unconventional which I don’t mind but he does.
Anyway we are going to a local jeweler this weekend to look into wedding bands.
Post # 3
Sounds like progress, and I think those are great suggestons. Very reasonable. Hopefully he’ll either choose one, or make getting you the right ring a priority. I believe if a man wants to do something, he will do it. It just may take a little sacrifice.
I like how you told him that you are beyond ready. Great way to put it! That way he knows he needs to catch up and fast! I think I’ll use that phrase if my SO for some reason doesn’t propose within our timeline.
Good luck on your wedding band shopping trip!
Post # 4
My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are sort of in the same situation. Not so much waiting for the “right” or “perfect” moment, but he’s all about the finances. We are absolutely financially stable, we could probably even afford to raise a couple of kids right now. I don’t understand this reason so much since we live together like husband and wife already. Yes, we want to make sure that I’m finishing up school, however I don’t think a marriage would affect that. Kids, sure, I’ll wait on that till I’m rolling along on my career. Plus we’re a military couple so I’m not sure how I’ll tackle that (I’m a military brat).
Post # 5
I feel the same as you. We went ring shopping back in Feb and I thougt we’d be engaged by now. He says he does not want to finace the ring and was to have it paid off before he propes. I think it’s a pride thing..maybe that’s what is going on with you boyfirend?
Have fun shoppimg btw..that’s always fun!
Post # 6
@QuinnLynn7: Your SO sounds a lot like mine. He’s intent on making everything perfect. It’s been a year since we looked at rings just to get an idea of what I wanted and how much to save. Then he says he’s just planning to make it perfect. It’s sweet but I just want to be with him. I think a lot of us will agree that we don’t need it perfect we just need our SO’s and they make it special because it’s them. Have fun ring shopping!! 😀
Post # 7
Thanks! I’m kinda excited to look at bands…If we do it backwards then I will get to pick out the actual ring myself I guess. I’ll have a while to research. I wish these men would realize that we’ve already accepted their imperfections…We expect nothing less from a proposal expect that it be “them”. Silly men:)
Post # 8
@QuinnLynn7: They are silly! Have fun! Let us know how it goes 🙂
Post # 9
My FSIL’s ex bf had the perfect ring and was waiting to give her her dream proposal, under the eiffle tower in paris. They waited and waited and waited and life happened, 3 years later, no proposal and they ended up breaking up. I always wonder if things would’ve worked out better for them had they not tried so hard for the “perfect” proposal.