(Closed) Waiting is driving us apart; can't even be in the same car for an hour

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
3730 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

First, how old are you? That could play a huge role in how long you’ve been waiting. Second, have you actually had a mature conversation with him that doesn’t involve you saying things like “you aren’t giving me what I want”. Marriage is about both people. Has he given you reasons why he’s holding out? So many factors to consider. 

Post # 3
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

You guys should have agreed on a timeline 2 years ago. And dont take all the blame, thats not fair to you.

ETA: It sounds like you guys need a little break from eachother. To both clear your heads and decide what you REALLY want.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by  ktsteimel.
Post # 4
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

In your other thread, he proposed two years ago although he had “dumped” you several times.  Why are you with this dude?  You are just torturing yourself.

Post # 5
Member
6806 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Have you had serious discussions about marriage? Have you talked timeline? What’s his financial situation like right now? How old are you? 

Post # 6
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

If you are not on the same page with your timelines, maybe it’s best to move on with both of your lives. I do not think you are being fair to him. I don’t see the point in being stubborn and grumpy and ruining the time you have together all over a label to slap on your relationship. Geez, a bee just lost her husband at a very young age, life is unpredictable and short. Why ruin something over something so minute? And if that label of being engaged/married is so important to you, over your relationship, then it isn’t fair to either of you to force something unnatural. If you harass and push him into something before he’s ready, its unfair and he will likely resent you for it later on. Is that what you really want?

Post # 7
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Also yeah, what’s up? Why did you say he proposed two years ago? Did he change his mind on that too?

Post # 10
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

barbgordon:  Are you still demanding he spend $4-8K on a ring?

Post # 11
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

barbgordon:  Don’t most people propose marriage verbally?  What are you talking about?  Will the real proposal come via telegraph?  Carrier pigeon?  Post-it?

Post # 12
Member
659 posts
Busy bee

barbgordon:  I think you need some tough love here… It sounds like he just isn’t going to propose any time soon, and he’s stringing you on. He likes having a girlfriend without the long term commitment. If you want something else, you have to recognize that you may not find it in him. It’s hard to change a person and make them want something they don’t want. I think in this case, you need to take care of yourself and move on if you think that’s best for you. 

Post # 13
Member
6 posts
Newbee

My wife and I waited 5 1/2 after we fell in Love to get married due to various life events, but I never let her forget that I wanted to marry her.  Neither of us ever blew up over it because we Love each other.  Communication and trust are 1 & 2 in a relationship. Blowing up is damaging and in most cases corrosive to a relationship.  If you two can’t discuss this without being agitated with each other, what will happen if you get married and something bad happens.  That said, 4 years devoid of any major events that naturally cause delay is a long time to wait.  You either both believe in marriage and Love each other or you dont. Good luck and God bless.

Post # 14
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

It sounds like he’s not ready. I remember my fiance getting frustrated whenever I brought it up, but he would assure me that he had every intent on making me his wife. If he doesn’t mention that than he must not be the right one.

Post # 15
Member
6806 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Ah yes, I remember your last post now. A lot of Bees asked you a lot of really important questions, and you chose to never answer them. 

The topic ‘Waiting is driving us apart; can't even be in the same car for an hour’ is closed to new replies.

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