Post # 1
I love him, I really do. I cannot understand why we are waiting. Ok I can, but I’m just so damn frustrated! I feel like at this rate we are never going to be able to have kids (I’m 28 and a half, and have PCOS, I feel in my mind that 35 is my deadline to get pregnant… even with all the fertility treatments out there) I can understand that he wants to wait until he has a new job before getting married (he’s losing his job at the end of the year) but why do we have to wait to get engaged? (ok he’s explained this one too… I don’t like the answer tho)
See, his Mom hates me… well really she doesn’t think I’m his type and therefore she gets frustrated and just doesn’t want to see us together. So he wants to wait until he’s moved out on his own before he pops the question because he fears she’ll stop talking to him (or even kick him out if he does it before moving out) umm all kinds of screwed up there. But I digress, I have been nothing but nice to his mother since day one. (Well there was the one time I accidentally dialed her and hung up on her, but that was after she already hated me)
I don’t want to cause a rift between him and his mother and have told him such, I’ve given him an out…if he really feels that she will disown him then I will step aside, I’d rather he have a relationship with the only family he has left (his Dad passed away 6 years ago, grandparents have been gone a while too)
But I hate waiting, especially since there is nothing I can do. He needs to find a job, I can’t find one for him (though I am helping by searching for him). This has gotten me so stressed out lately that I snapped at him and then drove 7 hours to my cousin’s house and stayed the weekend. (Well we had like 2 fights going on at once, plus I had a three day weekend and needed to get away)
So basically in summary I’m frustrated, there’s nothing I can do, and I prob need a psychiatrist. I’m sorry for anyone who reads this entire rant.
Post # 3
@annasaf83: I read it, and I’m sorry. I know the waiting gets very frustrating when you KNOW your supposed to be together and you want the rest of your life to start RIGHT NOW. He has legitament concerns so, meanwhile you have the hive to vent to. Because we understand.
Post # 4
I read it.
I understand exactly where you are coming from with this. I believe that all of us waiting bees have felt like you have, even for a moment, at some time during our respective season(s) of waiting.
However, I have to say that men in general like to make sure that their ducks are in a row before they get on one knee and ask us to marry them. They want to make sure that they can take care of themselves, and us. That includes having a job that they find to offer the stability that they are looking for.
Your guy has said what needs to happen for him to propose. Trust that it will happen soon.
In the meantime, enjoy being with him and enjoy your time as an unmarried woman. Anxiety for other reasons almost knocked me down, and I worry that you are so overly anxious over these things that you have no control over, and that can affect you negatively. I’d hate to see that happen to you.
Just remember that your guy will find the job that is right for him and he will propose.
This is all just a bump in the road. It will pass.
Post # 5
Thanks ladies, I hate this bump in the road lol I’ve been waiting almost a year now, and to top it off I KNOW HE HAS the ring. Sigh
Post # 6
@annasaf83: Atleast yours has the ring, mine hasn’t gotten anything, or if he has then I’m not aware of it…maybe thats the point….lol, but yeah, you should be financially stable before taking on 20K of debt
Post # 7
The bump in the road doesn’t make the waiting easier, either! I’ve been unemployed thesat few months and even though it sounds awful, a big reason my SO was waiting to officially propose was because he was waiting for me to get a job. He was financially supporting both of us on his salary and didn’t feel like we were financially ready to start planning a wedding.
But now I’m starting my third week of work and this is becoming a whirlwind–asking permission, getting the ring, asking me to check on dates for the venue and wanting to get out save the dates out within the next month. This has all happened in one week!
So have a little faith in your SO–he wouldn’t have purchased the ring if he didn’t want it to happen. And who knows, maybe once he gets over the bump in the road, it will all happen with lightning speed 😉