(Closed) waiting is very frustrating

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Quackadoo:  Hey Girl, *hugs* I am sorry you are feeling down.

I have also been with my SO for 5 years and I know the need to make him know that you will NOT wait forever! If he says the end of the month, you have to give him until the end of the month. Then, set a deadline in your mind of how much longer you will be in the relationship w/o a proposal/plan for the future. then stick to it. Most of the time it’s until the lease is up.

I am sorry about this difficult time, but you gotta trust in your relationship, that he loves you and that he WILL do right by his word and put a ring on it

Post # 4
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree. You need to decide how much longer YOU can wait. Put that dealine in your head. If not, bolt. You can’t wait around forever.

But at the same time, you need to express these concerns with your SO. He deserves a fighting chance if you love him.

Post # 5
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

I’m sorry.  I know how hard it is, especially when deadlines seem to have come and gone.  I had one of those mornings where everyone on facebook was talking about their engagements or weddings or kids.  You know, everyone’s married but me…  Undecided

Talk to your Boyfriend or Best Friend, explain your frustration and if he keeps putting it off, you need to make a decision.  Hang in there, waiting sucks.

Post # 8
340 posts
Helper bee

I understand how you feel. I am so sorry he is taking so long. I may be wrong, but what if he is telling you no so it can be a surprise? What if he really is saving? He didn’t need the lap top I am sure. My SO was spending money on his motorcycle so I was all upset that he wasn’t saving for a ring and he was checking his bank and he had plenty of savings. So you never know!?

Post # 10
176 posts
Blushing bee

@Quackadoo:  I’m sorry you’re feeling down. I know how it feels when it seems like your needs are low on your SO’s priority list. My SO is going to Africa for 6 weeks but had the nerve to say he “can’t afford” an e-ring right no. (Men can be really annoying sometimes even when we love them to death). 

I guess my advice would be to wait till the end of the month and if he doesn’t propose then maybe you need to have a serious “talk.” He needs to know you won’t wait forever. 

Post # 12
363 posts
Helper bee

I’m sorry he is putting you through this. I don’t understand why some men need deadlines to do normal things. I mean, shouldn’t it be important to them to WANT to make you happy? It seems like you and a lot of the others on the waiting boards have to keep asking them to want to give a shit about your comfort and happiness in your relationships. They should be understanding and want to help make things feel better for you and not just be whiny, excuse-making jerks who want to do things when they want and only when they want. Sorry again chica and good luck.

Post # 13
176 posts
Blushing bee

@Quackadoo:  Yes, hopefully the end of the month will leave you in better spirits. Thank you. I hope so too. 

@Marry Jane:  OMG! You hit the nail on the head when you said “some men need deadlines to do normal things.” In our relationship, I tend to be the person who makes sure everything is on track. I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised that the one time something is left up to him that it doesn’t get done since I have to get on him about other things. For instance, he still has not booked a trip he is supposed to take me on for my birthday (which was July 15th by the way…). I am making him sound worse than he is, but my point is that our culture tells us that the man is supposed to plan the proposal and surprise the woman while she just waits patiently. The problem is that gender roles have changed and men are used to women doing everything. Ugh.

Post # 14
25 posts

I agree with some of the PPs….maybe he is just trying to throw you off?  You never know!  I know its very difficult but some guys are just like that.  Keep staying positive.  I find that when I try not to think about it and keep myself busy time goes by a lot faster.  I’m sure you know that, but we are thinking of you!

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