Post # 1
I have to go to the gyno to talk about how to treat my cervical cancer. They left a voicemail on my phone to call for an appt and are sending me a letter. I had a leep in 2004 to treat pre-cancer cells. Had normal paps until last year, then had a biopsy. It was stage one so they said we would watch it. At my follow up pap a few weeks ago I was told I wont hear anything unless it is bad. Then I get this voicemail directing me to make an appt. I know I am not jumping to conclusions when I say that the precancer or full blown cancer is back. The gyno I see knows I am stressed about this and that I want kids in the future. I think even with another leep I could have kids if I started right away, but probably not if I wait much longer.
I know my SO wants kids, he has told me so, but in the future not now. I am scared I wont be able to give him the children he wants if my uterus keeps being treated for cancer. If I end up with a hysterectomy I guess I’m not supposed to have more kids. I have 1, my SO has none. I was a teen mom and my sons father was never there and treats my son poorly. I really wanted a chance to do it the right way, get married and have a baby. It’s starting to look like thats not possible. I truly love my SO and feel like if I cant give him the children he wants in the future I shouldn’t be with him. I dont want to be the reason he never has any.
If he was ready now, that would be awesome, but he is not in a financial place to marry me or make babies right now. He is working hard to correct this and would probably be ready to get engaged in 1 year, married in 2 and babies then or a year after the wedding. I’m feeling like if we are going to have kids I dont have that kind of time. I just feel so disapointed and devastated right now.
Thanks for listening bees.
Post # 3
@Snuggle: I’m really sorry! ((HUGS)) I hope things get better for you! Just remember your SO loves you. You could always a adopt a child in need if you couldnt have one of your own. Or maybe a surrogate if you saved your eggs. There are always options! Try to be positive at least you can share the experience of raising your son with your SO. He will be a better father to him than his real father is and he’ll thank you for choosing such a great man to help raise him when he grows up. I’ll be praying for you!
Post # 4
First, don’t stress. Wait until you get all of the information. I have been there and the three best pieces of advice I got were: 1) take things one step at a time, it may just be another hole punching (sorry– I don’t know the real name) surgery, your SO may be an ass if you have cancer, whatever the future is, you can’t project it now; 2) fertility treatments cost a lot, so there is a lot of research being doing and a ton of advancements. As bad as things may sound, there is so much changing and growing that there is always hope; 3) don’t make marriage plans over health reasons. Planning a wedding is stressful, focus on you health, see how it changes your relationship (and hope it doesn’t), then go from there once you are healthy.
When you find out what the news is, what the options are, and how your boyfriend reacts. You can make decisions about freezing eggs and you can always adopt. It’ll be fine, I promise. Best of luck!
Post # 5
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Remember that you don’t know anything yet. And even if it is what you’re fearing that doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to have children. There are tons of options. If your SO really loves you he will be willing to work with you. Best wishes!