(Closed) Waiting ladies of Weddingbee

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

So by pre-planning I’m stealing from my future me? Well, I can count on two fingers the number of my friends that had an enjoyable planning process from start to finish, so if by pre-planning now saves me the possible headache later, then I’m sure my future self will forgive me. 

But that sticky really sets the tone for that board. It is not welcoming at all! And reeks of “shame on you.” But then again, since I’m pre-planning with my mister, I guess it doesn’t really count for us? Either way, researching is never a bad idea. Otherwise it would simply be overwhelming!

Post # 18
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@tea:Agreed!! I totally get the ‘shame on you’ vibe from that!  UGH….so happy to have the Bee!!

Post # 19
Member
805 posts
Busy bee

We cannot tell you whether you are or are not engaged. There is no such thing as “unofficially engaged” or “engaged to be engaged” or “planning a wedding, but without an ‘official’ proposal”. Either you are engaged or you aren’t, and that’s a determination only you and your SO can make.

You do not need a ring to be engaged. You’ll hear this a lot around here. Many couples get engaged without a ring. All you really need is an agreement between both people that you intend to marry each other. Nobody can tell you that you’re engaged if you and your significant other don’t think so, but if you’ve picked a date and started planning but claim you’re not engaged… well, you’re going to get some funny looks.

I understand what they mean to say but they make it sound so bitchy.

According to them I’m technically engaged because we’ve agreed to marry each other but he hasn’t proposed, but then they say there’s no such thing as unofficially engaged? My brain hurts…. thank god I found weddingbee and not the knot.

Sorry the knot but I consider myself unofficially engaged. Tongue out

Post # 20
Member
2949 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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@WhatPicketFence: Have you checked out “Offbeat Bride”? I love that site.

I’ve never ventured into The Knot and I can’t say that I want to. The only thing I’ve heard about their Not Yet Engaged board is that it is populated by married posters who attack anyone who expresses their desire to get married to get engaged to their SO in the future. Which makes me wonder – why would someone hang around a board specifically for people waiting to be engaged and attack the people whom that board is for?

Post # 21
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@future.mrs.c: So basically, it’s like the Knot have put a forum on there for all the ‘Not engaged yet’ ladies, but they don’t actually believe in it?

I have heard a few nightmare experiences on that site, the ladies can be really mean because they think they can get away with it online. These ladies do not deserve to get married.

Actually I hope their fiances see the posts they write before they get married, to determine whether they really want to be married to such cruel women.

Post # 22
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Actually I looked up the post that introduces these ‘rules’ *shudders* I would question myself too much if I would fit in there to post..

‘Hi! Welcome to NEY! 

We’re happy you’re here.

However, before posting on this board, LURK. Lurk, lurk, and lurk some more. Get a feel for the board – its posters, its dynamic – and decide if it’s the right place for you before you begin posting.  You can read back a few pages to see some recent posts/topics, and you can check out the intros thread (also sticky-ed) to get to know some of our posters. Be sure this is the board for you before you begin posting or add to our intros thread.

Some things to consider before you post…’

What kind of forum discourages you from posting if you feel you do not fit their mould?

Post # 23
Member
4594 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

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@spaneshal:  Wow, just WOW.

I can’t believe the gall of the Knot.  They sound horrible.  Not that I’ve heard anything nice about them before.  I agree with the comments of why have a board if you don’t want people there.

Post # 24
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m pretty sure if someone wanted to buy one of their magazines, they wouldn’t care if you were n.e.y, unofficially engaged, full blown into the process or just wanted to look at pretty things! ugh.

Post # 25
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee

I saw that a few weeks ago too and thought it was so snarky to those who are’t “officially engaged”.  I did not feel welcomed at all and will stay with the awesome community we have going on over here!  If they don’t want me now, they sure aren’t getting me later!

Post # 26
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee

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@spaneshal: It gets worse and worse. How unfriendly.

Post # 27
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

How nice of them to inform us that we will not need a year to plan a wedding, regardless of our individual situations. Apparently we are not bright enough to decide for ourselves how long the engagement period should be.

Post # 28
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee

I also noticed that they have a whole section for “snarky brides”

Post # 29
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have to add that the waiting boards on Weddingbee were a life saver when I was in waiting. Everyone here was very supportive and helped me through that rough time. As a recently-married bee I must say that I am so glad I did some pre-planning (even if it was just in my head) because it made the decision-making SOOOO much easier! Ignore those snarky people over there and just stay where you get opinions that are actually helpful 🙂

Post # 30
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee

All I can say is I LOVE WEDDINGBEE!

Even though we all have a different story and may be at different stages in our relationships, everyone here is incredibly supportive.  It’s also wonderful to hear from engaged/married bees who offer support and advice to those in waiting.

Sure, we may rant or complain about our waiting status from time to time, but the Weddingbee Waiting Community has so much more to offer than just being a piece of cyber space for ranting.  We share our stories, ask for and offer advice, and simply enjoy the fact that there are other women out there who understand what we are experiencing.  Sometimes we just need a little reassurance that we are not crazy or that we need a simple reminder to remain patient in the waiting process.  🙂

 

Post # 31
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee

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@T-Rex: I really wish you hadn’t told me that and I really wish I hadn’t googled the “snarky brides” board on The Knot. I’ve read a couple of comments accusing us bees of sucking up to one another (it was put more crudely than that) and another few laughing and saying our no snarkiness rule is hilarious. To me, it seems a sad state of affairs that people think it is their right to be unkind to others if they wish to do so. I feel that I am able to be honest and truthful to people here on Weddingbee, and blunt when I need to be, but I always set out to be respectful and dignified too, and to be sensitive to others even when I disagree with them. It’s disheartening to know that others would mock that our community values being graceful in replies. It doesn’t make us fake or stop us from saying what we really think; it just means I take a second or two to consider the impact my words could have on someone else.

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