(Closed) Waiting List for the single gals?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Should Single Girls be allowed to be added to the waiting bee list or should they have their own?
    If a Single Bee wants to be added.....big deal. : (15 votes)
    10 %
    They should have their own list : (22 votes)
    14 %
    They should just wait until then have an SO, then be added to the Waiting Bee list. : (114 votes)
    73 %
    Other (Please Explain) : (6 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2114 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I dont see how/why you would be waiting if you don’t have someone you are ‘waiting’ on…being on the “Weddingbee waiting list” wont make that happen any sooner.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2077 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I was a Waiting gal when I first joined WB, but we had talked about marriage and I knew the proposal was near, just not the exact day he was planning it.

    I guess I don’t see the point of having a “Waiting on waiting for a proposal” list.  It seems a little redundant to me.  :/  Sorry.

    ETA-  You can always propose the idea of a different category added for single gals in the Ideas section of WB!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1595 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    The problem with being single and having a “waiting” list is that your mind is so focused on marriage you probably will scare most men you date away and never end up married!!! Okay, so obviously many will disagree with this statement, and this is sort of a “tell me how you really feel” comment…I don’t mean for it to be rude as I am not even engaged yet myself but from what I remember when I WAS dating around, my focus was not on marriage at all, just on building a connection with someone…why put so much pressure on yourself or who you’re dating to get married? I think by doing this you will only end up getting married for the wrong reasons or end up marrying the wrong person!!!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1458 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    You’re jumping the gun and it makes you sound really desperate. Going into every relationship plotting when and how you will get engaged is not healthy.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1595 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Most All of the girls that I know who only think about marriage and/or obsess about marriage when dating someone are single.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1130 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @wolfpackforever:  Maybe you’re waiting to meet the right person, not waiting to be married? That’s wonderful that you want to get married someday, but I would maybe focus on more immediate concerns like finding someone you want to be around for extended periods of time. Focusing too much on marriage from the get go can scare potential mates away and can keep you from focusing on the here and now. 

    Given your previous post about marrying yourself, I would say maybe cool your jets a little bit. You don’t want to rush into anything. Good luck with your search/wait!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1595 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    nevermind…

    Post # 13
    Member
    6256 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I don’t think this is really necessary. To me, a “waiting” list implies that a proposal is expected. (Hence why I’m not on the waiting list–I do have a SO,  but if he proposed right now, I’d be surprised and might even ask HIM to wait a little while!) If you’re single and someone proposes, you shouldn’t concern yourself with a list–you should run!

    BUT I do think that a “single” section of the Bee would be nice. Whether people like it or not, whether or not they think it’s appropriate, there ARE single women on the Bee. After I broke off my engagement, I was one of them–I missed the community too much to leave. It would have been nice to have a place to post about my experiences, and to be able to support others who were going through the same sorts of things that the engaged/married/waiting bees might not necessarily care about or be able to identify with at this point in their lives. Though I’m not single any more, it wouldn’t bother me to see those posts come up, and I’d probably even read some of them.

    If there were a section like this, I don’t think it’d be inappropriate at all to have a “single person” list to get off of.

    Post # 14
    Member
    115 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @wolfpackforever:  “There ARE people around who DO look into every relationship and every man w date wanting to marry.”

    Well, sure.  Many people date with marriage in mind as the end goal.  But if you think of yourself as “waiting”, I feel like you’re mentally holding back on other areas of your life- there are so many other things to be concerned with (career, personal development, friends, travel, politics…) that could make you the best version of yourself.  And frankly, what do you do if marriage isn’t in the cards for you?  I think finding a partner is less in your control than other elements of your life (this is in no way a reflection on you as a person- plenty of wonderful people remain single while lots of jerks marry).

    I can’t help but think of my coworker who broke up with her last boyfriend over two years ago, obsesses about every first date she has, and tells coworkers that she can’t wait to be married.  It’s a little… intense.  She actually told me that it was “unfair” that I was engaged since I had never really felt an urge to get married (I was and remain comfortable with staying in a committed relationship, but Fiance felt differently.  I gladly stepped up).  It’s just not something that you can make a goal or wish into existence.  Go live life! 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    1714 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    Well, I did suggest some time ago we have an area for single Bees to frequent. What the status on that is, I don’t know. I don’t think there should be a ‘waiting list’ in the context of marriage, but a waiting list in terms of finding someone new again/forming a new relationship would be great I think 🙂 

    Post # 16
    Member
    524 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I feel like a few people are being harsh here. It’s not like the OP and others like her are going out on every first date wearing “Marry Me Now” shirts, she’s simply saying that she does want to be married, and that she’s dating with the expectation of marriage, and that’s OK. If I didn’t think a relationship would lead to marriage, I probably wouldn’t pursue it! And “looking for THE ONE” and “looking to be married” to many are interchangable: not to all, you can definitely have the one and not be married, but being single and having an expectation of marriage is fine. 

    But as for the actual list, I don’t think it’s really needed: I feel like the waiting bee list for soon-to-be-engaged bees makes more logistical sense, not because we’re better or anything (not at all!) but just because the announcement will probably come soon (or more soon than someone not in a relationship, but you never know). I definitley think suggesting some sort of entire single board is a great idea…a place where singles can talk about wedding-related topics, even though they’re not in relationships yet. Because it’s fun to talk about weddings and “the one”, even if you’re not married. And then, maybe once that board is created, instead of a list, there could be a “getting to know the single ‘bees” board: I think that would work better for a support system type thing than just a list (and then, once you did find a relationship that was working towards marriage, then list away!). 

    I hope this made sense!

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