@photograbee: I agree.
OP, this guy is putting his wishes above yours. You’re just going to stay with some guy who (possibly) doesn’t love you enough to marry you? Has he ever mentioned not believing in marriage before?
If you’re only 22, or you’ve only been together for 6 or 7 months, the “don’t pressure me” thing might hold a bit of water. But if you’ve been together for years, and he’s still saying that, it isn’t going to happen–at least not if you keep to the status quo. If you want marriage, he should want to give it to you. It’s not like he is losing anything he would want or need if he were actually devoted to you. Men who have fully committed to one woman don’t need freedom to be with others or the ability to pack up and move on at a moment’s notice. Most men eventually do marry, and many times if they aren’t wanting to marry when you’re with them, it’s not because they don’t want to get married ever. It’s because they don’t want to marry YOU.
I’m not trying to be cruel. But trust me when I say that just because you have a perfect relationship now doesn’t mean you can stay together blissfully forever without a ring. If he doesn’t want to marry you, he probably has what he feels is a good reason. And generally those reasons aren’t the sorts of things that contribute to healthy relationships. He may be holding out for someone he thinks is better for him. Please at least consider this, as it’s something I had to learn the hard way–twice–and if any good could come of that pain, it would be that someone else would be stronger than I was, and wouldn’t have to make the same mistakes I did.
If you are absolutely sure this is the man you want to be with forever, and he will make a good father if you want kids, a good co-provider, won’t cheat and all that… why are you giving up? Giving up on your dream of marriage just because it’s not something HE wants, assuming this is something you’ve always wanted, is to me a bit fatalistic and frankly antifeminist. If you want this to work, there are things you can do to help make it happen, or at least to get to the bottom of this.
I recommend “Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others.” It’s great at demystifying men’s behavior. There are a couple other books that might help too, as well as Mr. Bee’s plan. But if this is something that is essential to your happiness, don’t give up. The resentment will poison your relationship, because wanting to be married isn’t exactly something you can turn off with the flick of a switch. You owe it to yourself to try and figure out whether he’s not wanting to marry because he feels too young/not financially stable enough, whether it is because he feels you aren’t the one, or whether there’s some other thing going on.
Men who want to marry a woman do. Mine packed up and moved to a different state because he wanted to marry me. But it wasn’t because there was anything special about me. It’s because that’s the sort of thing true love does. That’s what it looks like. And lady, if that’s not how it looks from where you’re sitting, I’d pack up and move on. He has the right to not want to get married, true. But you have the right to leave if your needs aren’t being fulfilled, and you definitely have the right to keep trying to help this along if it’s important to you.