(Closed) Waiting on 87 RSVPs two weeks after deadline…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2212 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Man, that’s a lot of missing RSVPs!  Sorry to hear that.  Typically, the plan of attack at this point would be to call the folks who haven’t sent back their RSVPs…all 87 of them.

Because there are so many, I might be tempted to try emailing first, but emails can be much more easily ignored than a call…

Post # 4
9674 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I would start calling around! It happens often but you need the numbers for your caterer.

Post # 5
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Holy Moly! And I thought I had it bad.. I sent out around 100 invites and the day of my deadline I still had like 22 missing! I contacted them.. most of them had just forgotton!

Post # 6
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

Agree with PPs, time to start calling!  Don’t email, don’t mail, get a direct answer ASAP.

This is alot of RSVPs to have out after the deadline, but you have some time until May.

Post # 7
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yep. I facebook-messaged everyone three days after the deadline (to give time for those mailed ON the deadline to get here). One week after that (today), the calling starts. We had 30% missing after the deadline, and only two nos so far out of those.

Post # 8
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

At 2 weeks late, you need to start calling!  Be polite and nice still, but get an answer.  Assuming your caterer needs a final, dead set confirmed number 60 days out, you’re not at panic point yet.  I will never understand why people cannot send back a card on time.  It’s not complicated.

Post # 9
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Sorry you’re having to deal with this crap.. obviously it’s very difficult to RSVP when you already have the stamped envelope & just have to drop it in the mailbox Wink 

I agree, get on the horn & start calling people. But break it up.. give him (or his mom/dad) the people you’re missing from his side.. give your mom/dad some family to call & you take care of friends/co-workers etc. Our RSVP cut off is one week from today, and we’re missing 15.. so I guess I shouldn’t be as annoyed as I am, knowing there are people worse off than us.. good luck with hunting everyone down!

Post # 10
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

That is a lot!!! I would email/text people who you know check those and respond regularly, and split up the calling with your parents/his parents etc depending on who the guest is. 

Post # 11
13289 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is there a chance some got lost in the mail?  We had quite a few that were lost by USPS — and frm people I know sent them back.  We split up our list and called our own families to ask if they were coming. 

Post # 12
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

You need to start calling, but really, what did you expect when asking for RSVPs 2 months in advance. Usually, guests are just getting the invitation now and are responding in abour 6 weeks. I couldn’t promise you right now that Darling Husband would be able to get off work. It’s too early for him to even put in a request.

Post # 13
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

What a headache!  Our RSVP deadline is today and we are waiting on about 8% of our guests yet to formally reply, although several of them have told us informally that they can or cannot attend, so it’s really closer to about half that.  We started reaching out to people about 10 days before the deadline, since there was an earlier deadline for our hotel block reservation that gave us an excuse to email reminders.  We also enlisted our moms in following up with family members on our behalf, while we followed up with our friends and cousins ourselves. 

I would definitely suggest individual phone calls to people — try to recruit your parents or other family members to help out since your list is so large.  Tell them you have a non-negotiable deadline of (fill in date) to give a headcount to the venue, but make it 5-7 days before the actual deadline.  If they haven’t replied by then, you might send them a nice email saying something like, “We’re so sorry you’re unable to join us for our wedding celebration, but we look forward to catching up with you after we return from our honeymoon.”  This will let them know that you’ve counted them as a “no” and they shouldn’t suprise you by showing up!  Good luck!

Post # 14
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Your RSVP date was a bit early, no?  Mine is 4/1.  Not that it’s an excuse but it could be a contributing factor.

I sent out 113 invitations and am missing RSVPs from 40 still and I’m under my guarantee. I am willing myself not to think about it or panic until 4/1 and it’s hard.

Post # 15
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Stop waiting, start calling emailing!

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