Post # 1
so I know this is a well-beaten topic, but sharing my story and getting some feedback will help ease my pain A little.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years now, I’ve known I wanted to marry him for 2-3 of those years. We’ve been talking about it for roughly that time also. There has been a lot of talk of it really, between us, my family, his family, my friends, ect. But its all just talk so far!! His mom (whom I am very close with) is so invested in us getting engaged that she actually was super annoyed when she heard he spent $1000 on a new tv last month. The first words out of her mouth were “why isnt he putting that toward a ring”
I stayed at his place 5 to 6 nights a week during the first year, then we were living apart for a year while he was working in Boston. We moved in together 2 years ago and just recently (6 months ago) moved to a new city together where we both got better jobs. It was my first time moving away from our hometown, and I was hoping for an engagement as a symbol from him of our committment as I was leaving all of my friends and family behind to move for his career.
Every time engagement is brought up now he says “It’ll happen, just stop talking about it” We went casually looking at rings about 4 months ago, but nothing since. I’m starting to feel like he just doesn’t care about it because he’s happy how we are, and it feels like a lot of money for something he already has. I try not to bring it up, but it comes up often. I’m so excited to share my life with him that I just cant stop thinking about the future. also, the term “boyfriend” doesn’t seem to fit him anymore. It feels too casual, but obviously I can’t say “fiance” yet either… Does anyone else feel this way?
This topic was modified 3 years ago by Esorleb.
Post # 2
Esorleb: I think its great that you have a really good relationship with his mother and she approves you! Also its a very positive sign that you have openly discussed it with both of your families! My boyfriend future fiance i hope and i have been together for almost 4.5 years and we live together for the last year and bought me a ering three weeks ago which was a while after we went ring shopping but still i do not have a proposal. I think your boyfriend is definitely serious about your relationship and its not that you starting living together as soon as you got together, you started living together only 6 months ago so although it was a big step for you leaving behind family and friends, he cant have you for granted. Its possible that he has already bought you the ering but is waiting till the holidays to give it to you! If this is the case you are lucky you dont know if he actually has bought the ering because believe me now that i know its even worse i am constantly on hold waiting for the proposal every second. Also i should add that me boyfriend although he tells me all the time he cant wait to marry me he has not talked to his parents about marrying me yet – i do not have the best relationship with his parents, i try to be polite and keep my distances because they are not very nice and he also is not really close with his parents- so in that sense you are a step ahead of me!! I think you should wait till after the holidays and see if he proposes and if not then you can bring it up.. Good luck and do update please!
Post # 3
hi there, I can completely relate to how you are feeling.
it so difficult!
my parter is taking his time with the whole proposing thing too..
why do men have to make it such a “surprise”?
it sounds like you have a healthy relationship with both your partner and his mother- that’s a great thing!
like the previous poster suggested, I’d hang in there and see if he proposes over the holidays or another special occasion (valentines day or anniversary?)
i really hope that your proposal comes along soon and the waiting game ends xx
do keep us updated!
Post # 4
Esorleb: I felt the same way! My now fiance and I talked about marriage for awhile and looked at rings months before he proposed. I asked about when he would propose for a while and finally just gave up asking. I would think every moment we were going somehwere speical could be the day. I deff thought he would propose on our five year anniversary and our five years passed without a ring! He finally propsed the week after our 5 years to throw me off and he did it in the most romantic and amazing way I have ever heard of. It was incredibly special and on top of that i was not supecting it. I was hinting at him with pictures of rings when he had an engagement ring for three months before he proposed.
The waiting sucks but in the end it is worth it. If i would suggest anything I would say don’t think about it. And don’t keep asking baou tit. As soon as I stopped thinking about it adn talking about it I got engaged. If he is saying it will happen and to stop talking about it then it will happen as soon as he has the perfect moment! Give him time and relax because he clearly loves you and you wil lbe engaged soon enough! 🙂