Post # 1
Anyone care to join me with your own pet peeves of waiting?
I get so annoyed when people say enjoy your relationship- as if we hadn’t already been doing that. There is only so much “enjoyment” you can do before you start thinking of the next step and getting to it. Waiting is making that next step stagnant so you are stuck waiting for that to be fufilled.
I get so annoyed at people who compare wait times… this isn’t a competition. Whether you been waiting a few days or waiting a few years, we are all waiting for the same goal, to be engaged to our significant others. Futhermore, if someone tells me, I been waiting way long than you so be thankful, my response would probably be YOU chose to wait so many years. I, on the other hand, won’t be in your shoes because I will not choose to wait years.
I get annoyed at the “why would you leave if he doesn’t propose” question, as if I do not love my SO because one of my options on the table is to leave. I come from the “are we on the same page” frame of mind. Of course, I love my SO and do want to be with him but if he isn’t on the same page as me, I am not going to sacrafice something I believe in to stay with him. Marriage carries many benefits, many that are legal and financial. I love my SO but I also love myself and if something should happen to him, I would be broken hearted to receive nothing just because he was never ready to get married and no one recognized me as anything more than a girlfriend.
Post # 3
@armychica06:ALL OF THE ABOVE!!! Ahhhh! So annoying!
Post # 4
LOL another one- denouncing a woman because she wants to be married in these times. I don’t get that one. Some women want to have babies and without marriage, procreating isn’t an option so I don’t think it is fair for others to judge them for their time lines and etc. Some women don’t want to have kids in their late 30s/40s all due to a guy dragging his feet.
Post # 5
I hate how many “So when are you guys going to get hitched?” and “Why are you not engaged yet?” comments I am getting lately. UGH.
Post # 6
i get annoyed with the “why don’t you propose to him?” well, i didn’t realize it was just that simple. if i could i would have! there are extenuenting circumstances that have kept us from getting married sooner so it’s not like i’m waiting for him to get off his butt and decide it’s time to propose, but proposing is something that he WANTS to do and feels like he MUST do so whom am i to take that from him?
in the end, my proposing to him is not an option. please stop suggesting it and making me feel stupid for not taking matters into my own hands as a “modern woman in modern times.”
Post # 8
@tea: Same here- I would have been proposed to him a LONG time ago but he believe it is the man’s job to do it and wouldn’t even entertain it.
Post # 9
Oh gosh, I HATE those questions too! It’s like.. Do you honestly think I’m not wondering the same thing?!
Post # 10
I hate when people carelessly ask “So when’s the wedding” Eh are you even paying for it, mind your business and wait till you see a ring on my finger or better yet invitation in the mail.
Post # 11
I swear, if I hear one more person tell me that I don’t love him because I’m not willing to wait forever, I am going to lose it. The way I see it, getting engaged is for women what going “all the way” is for men. Most men I know would not date a women and wait indefinitely to “seal the deal.” At some point, he would get tired of waiting, and leave the relationship, and no one would judge him for that-it would be understood that they want different things and must go their separate ways. Getting engaged is the same thing-at some point, it becomes obvious that two people want different things, and the relationship is not going to work.
I am tired of people who think no one could be ready before they were. I am 22, and I constantly hear, “you’re so young! I wasn’t ready until 27, 30, 35, etc!” Umm…congratulations? Aren’t we always saying that “ready” is different for everyone?
I really don’t like having engaged women give me advice on waiting. Usually, they tell me to just be patient because it will happen. Well, for them, that worked-it DID happen. However, there ARE men out there who string women along and never actually propose.
I also hate being told that I should propose to him. He’s obviously not ready, so how would that solve anything? If he was ready to get engaged, wouldn’t he have proposed? Wouldn’t that just escalate the issue? Wouldn’t that just put him in a no-win situation?
Post # 12
This–> The way I see it, getting engaged is for women what going “all the way” is for men. Most men I know would not date a women and wait indefinitely to “seal the deal.” At some point, he would get tired of waiting, and leave the relationship, and no one would judge him for that-it would be understood that they want different things and must go their separate ways
Post # 13
FINALLY – a group of bees I can relate to!!
I love my Boyfriend or Best Friend like no other. However, I was married for 6 1-2 years to a man that was no much more than a 30 year old child. I finally got divorced because I knew we could never have a family, and that was important to me. I’m only doing this twice – if for whatever reason it doesn’t work out the second time, I’m done. I want to be in a relationship with someone who has the same goals as me and is looking for the same thing in life. No matter how much I love my Boyfriend or Best Friend, if we’re not on the same page and he’s just stringing me along…we gots problems!
Post # 14
@April_Mae:On the already engaged ladies topic… I can’t stand when they tell you to be patient!!! I have a friend who was JUST LIKE ME when she was waiting to get engaged…now she is all “be patient, don’t take this from him and ruin it!”
Post # 15
Every since Single Ladies came out…I am tired of people telling me, “Tell him to put a ring on it!”
Post # 16
I get annoyed by the assumption that we’re already married by my co-workers and even his family. I’m in my late 20’s and he’s in his mid-thirties so because of our ages and the fact that we live together with our kids (blended family), people already assume we’re married. For example:
“So what are you and your husband doing for Christmas?” (“well, me and my ‘why-buy-the-cow-when-the-milk-is-for-free’ boyfriend are going to his parents…”)
From his sister-in-law introducing me to her friend: “Hi, __________, you’ve met my sister-in-law, Phoenix, right?” (“No, let me correct you, I’m your brother-in-law’s girlfriend…get it right…”)
From a Christmas card addressed to SO and myself from his parents, it says “Love, Mom and Dad” (I know, that one isn’t unusual, but I still feel the pang)
My co-workers and employees don’t even ask me anymore if we’re getting married yet because they forget that we’re not. And when I do say something about wanting a proposal, on occassion I’ll hear “Well you guys already live like you’re married…what’s the big deal?” WTF.