(Closed) Waiting Sucks!

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
865 posts
Busy bee

I’m with you, i don’t know what i’d do if i didn’t have this site.  i’d probably drive my SO crazy talking about getting married, haha.

Post # 4
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

OMG… I our situation is so similar. Heres to not waiting long!

Post # 6
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

welcome to the site!!! i hope it’s soon for you!! does he have a ring?

Post # 7
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Haha, I feel your pain!  that’s what we’re here for…

Post # 9
Member
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh I feel for you! I waited for a year before Mr Moo proposed! Every Christmas/NYE/birthday/Valentine’s Day felt like agony. I’m sure he’ll get you when you least suspect it and it’s going to be amazing! πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Hello Ladies!

Wow! You are all so wonderful and supportive. . I can relate with so many of you on SO many levels and YES IT DOES SUCK!! ..  I really hope that will be the case with me yet ANOTHER “lady-in-waiting” πŸ™ ..  Grr . . Irregardless, I’m pretty sure that all of you ladies will be engaged before me as there are days when I trylt believe mine will make me the last woman on EARTH to get a ring!! Anyways, Here is my story:

My wonderful guy and I (J) have known one another since we were 18 and we started dating at 19. We are heading into the 4th year of dating on June 2010. Between all that he has been studying away at University and I moved down there to be with him. Though we have been though many things togethers (happy and traumatic) we’ve pulled though it all, and gotten to a place of true happiness :D.  . We have a wonderful, caring and loving relationship; I love him with all of my heart!. . BUT. .  I mean . . WHERE IS THE RING ALREADY?? I mean we haven’t even gone ring shopping yet or anything! But, we have discussed the future and he funnily enough brings up things like houses and babies lol ..  I bring up the e-ring subject.  . just subtle hints however I know how harmful they can be but once you get to that point where you are truly sick and tired of all your friends getting engaged before you who haven’d invested even a quarter of the time YOU have it is so so frustrating and I begin to resent the situation. . the school situation.  . the still renting in apartments, with coin laundry, having no money you know the GOING NOWHERE life :(. .  And over the years there has been so many “possible” opportunities where it could have happned  .. we’ve been to Banff, Vegas, DR . . he took me to Niagara Falls last year as a SUPRISE (so lucky!! <3) and EVERYONE took bets it would happen.  .and it didn’t we have a lovely weekend but.  . no ring and I was so disappointed and he’s started to do this annoying thing where he kinda strokes my “ring” finger which IS SUCH A TEASE and throws me way off. .  The goodish news: He’s just coming out of a 5-year degree THANK GOD which means MONEY ..  but when I suggested we go look at rings a month ago (cos quite frankly I was growing tired of all the new engagement surge that happened over Christmas) and he replied with a “Well I won’t be looking at that for AT LEAST another 2 years) TWO YEARS??!!! ARRRGH!!!! He then joyfully proclaimed that he was going to purchase a $20,000 car. .  WTF??? What about my ring?? It’s my turn ohh I was so mad (all in my head ;)) I mean really THAT’S your primary concern?? I know that we NEED a car and all it’s just you know when you’ve come SO far, you can finally see the light at the end of the Uni tunnel you imagine all the wonderful new things you can buy now and the sparkler he bought you. . and then it fades.  . with ONE comment . . we are SO close yet SO far away though the Future Sister-In-Law figures hes trying to throw me off  . but that’s worse cos now I’ll EXPECT it at EVERY waking occasion!!! Why can’t men just GET IT TOGETHER!!?!. . And now, at 24 coming up for 25, I REALLY need this to move forward and have a ring on my hand I mean enough is enough with the WAITING! I’ve got people in my class at 19 getting rings it’s so bruuutal . .Some days I feel as though I am losing my mind! I moan and moan to my Future Sister-In-Law all the time and she totally understands it but I think even she gets tired of me too (though she’d never say so!) ..  Somedays the build-up to this magical day just doesn’t seem worth it  . . and the longer he leaves the more bitter I become and I mean it’s going to be a FINALLLLLLLYYYYYYY you did it and that’s just not good why do men have to do that? I mean I understand there is a process and my J is very strategic, he won’t do ANYTHING without the money but DON’T start bragging about new expensive cars and shit while I have NO official commitment!! That’s such BS OOH! I wanted to explode!! . .  Anyone else feel the same way??? . . A couple years back I wasn’t so pent up on all this but now I am and I truly think age has something to do with it. I know I’m not old but at the same time I kinda set a personal 6-year window – like Engagement/Wedding/Start family ALL has to happen in that time because I do not want kids past thirty. Anyways, that’ll be a new issue another day LOL .. But yes there we go ..  the Frustration . . totally feel it!! Much Love to all, thanks for listening! πŸ˜€

* aurora *

Post # 12
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hey Aurora, I totally get where you are coming from!  Its is really frustrating especially when he is ready to drop 20K on a new car but cant get you a ring for maybe a quarter of that amount in order to officially start your lives together.  I am exactly your age and I totally undertand that we are not “old” but we are at the point where things need to start happening. If I were you I would sit him down and talk to him about your frustrations in terms of marriage, engagement, commitment and I would definitely bring up the car situation.  I many guys these days think that we are going to hang around forever until they finally get their act together, but we also can’t waste our time in the relationship if it keeps dragging, no matter how much we love them and care about them.

Post # 13
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Aw Aurora, dont worry!!! There’s lots of girls in the same boat as you… including me!!! I’ve been with my bf for 8 years now, and we’re also 24. I feel exactly like you with everyone getting engaged around me (not to mention the bf buying expensive things for himself), but the timing has to be right for the couple… not all relationships are the same. I want to be financially secure with a good savings, and able to afford a nice house as well as a nice wedding. So the more time to save, I guess the better, or at least thats what I keep telling myself!! Plus we’re still fairly young. I think now that your bf will be finishing up school, it will be the perfect time to propose once he gets a good paying job, if he hasn’t already. I totally think he’s throwing you off though with the 2 years talk, I think sometimes guys just do that to get a reaction out of you and see what you’ll say!!! I know my bf has pulled that stunt a couple times when we have talked about having a 2011 wedding, so dont fret πŸ˜‰ I never count on special occassions for a proposal, because in a way, I’d rather it be on a “regular” day when I’m least expecting it! Not on Valentine’s day… so just be patient, I think it will come soon πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Hi Aurora,

Think mine is similar too. Waiting 4+ years, met the first year at college. Every holiday is truly agony wondering if it will be that day. Maybe he is just waiting to ask you until he has a good job. I know its hard seeing other get there before you too – we went to FIVE weddings this summer – all of the couple have been dating a shorter time than us. It will happen. But I understand the complete and utter frustration!!!

 

Post # 15
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

yeah i’m in the same boat as you but we bought the setting for my ring last april and he has to put a diamond in it. Yeah i’ve been waiting for almost a year and its the worst thing in the world!!!!!!!! WORST!!!!! I thought it was going to happen like 5 times already, on our 6th year anniv, december 5th because thats what someone told me, christmas ever, christmas day, new years ever, or new years day…… I was for sure it was going to happen in december then i was positive it would happen in january and now i’m thinking its just never coming. He keeps saying its coming really soon but as the months pass by i’m giving up hope. I’m pulling out my hair at this point, i’m beginning to get really moody and pissed off, and i’m just really really frustrated!!!!!!!! So i know how you feel, and it sucks ass!!!!!!

Post # 16
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Waiting= CryYellUndecidedFrown

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