(Closed) Waiting til marriage….

posted 9 years ago in Christian
Post # 47
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years..I am a virgin and he is not.  I made it very clear from the beginning that I was waiting for marriage, but I have to admit, if it wasn’t for him, there is no way I could wait.  He has promised me many times over that he would never let us slip up.  I want to say that I am the strong one in our relationship, but it is definitely him.  

We both work in an industry where there isn’t a definition of morals so it is always an encouragement when I tell my coworkers that I am a virgin and saving myself for marriage.  They are always VERY shocked and very encouraging.  It is a reminder to me of what a witness it is to others and to me, that is worth the stress and temptation that it has caused me!

Good job!!  Keep it up!!

Post # 48
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I just wanted to commend you on what your doing!!! That form of dicipline is very rare, that is why it is so difficult.

 All of the ladies gave great advice on holding strong! The reward for what you two are doing is going to be so beautiful!! YOU CAN DO IT GIRL!!!! 

Post # 49
Member
4369 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
@juliapotpie:  Wow, really? I’m all for people deciding on their own whether to engage in sex, but are we still at a point when we have to refer to women as farm animals?  I’m not a “cow”, and my DH/SO didn’t get any “milk” for free, thank you very much. We engaged in an adult decision to have an intimate relationship.

Post # 50
Member
3361 posts
Sugar bee

Have I mentionned that I love this thread ?? 🙂 hehe I love you ladies for being so strong and awesome ! I really wish I could go back in time and do this with my SO .. Keepig us all in my prayers 🙂 

Post # 51
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think the purpose of stopping and waiting is to show to God that you are going to do something in honour of Him. Being convicted of doing something wrong and then ignoring that conviction and carrying on as you were is like hearing from God and not acting upon it.

My fiance and I have been together for four and a half years. He is a US citizen and I am from the UK so we spend a lot of time apart. When we get together it is incredibly difficult to remain celebate, but we both know that we would feel incredibly guilty if we had sex before marriage. I am hoping (subject to visa!) to be moving to the US in September of this year, and even though we plan on getting officially married (in the eyes of the state) later in that month, we won’t be having our wedding and wedding night until maybe 7 months later. (Complicated situation – don’t ask!)

I just wanted to pop by and give my encouragement to those who are waiting. To those who haven’t and are feeling convicted, maybe it would be a good idea to speak with your pastor or an older married couple? If your faith truly rests in God then you should at least consider the options.

With love to you all!

Post # 52
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m not waiting but I just wanted to say to those who are that I think it’s very admirable that you are. I’m sure it’d be really tough, especially with society’s current views on sex (that everyone should have it with everyone all of the time). My partner was a virgin before we were together and I know he was picked on a lot for it despite doing it by choice as well.

Anyway, just thought I’d offer some support :). Kudos for having strength in your moral convictions 😀

Post # 53
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@floralgypsy:  That’s our situation practically!  Only he is from Australia and we are hopefully going to have our ‘first’ wedding at the end of April!  I even had my dad telling me I didn’t have to wait until after the second wedding since I’ve waited long enough (I’m 27) but we both feel it would be better until after the second wedding, since that’s our ‘spiritual’ wedding (first one is for the paperwork!).

 

 

View original reply
@hatmanandbobbin:  Thanks!  I for one think it’s good to hear someone approving for once XD I’ve been scoffed at for wanting to wait saying its a stupid religious rule and that I’m only doing it because someone told me to, when even though I am religious I chose to wait for a completely different reason ( I didn’t want to bond with the wrong person as I am very emotional and it would break me).  Not gonna lie, it’s not easy!  Tempations do happen but I just can’t let myself, when I make rules for myself I can’t break them even when I want to XD

Post # 54
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My fiance and I did n

Post # 55
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I love this thread. Very encouraging, and REALLY wish I would have found it sooner! 

My fiance and I got engaged in Setpember. I was a virgin and he was not due to a previous girlfriend with serious manipulation abilities (lol). We are both very strong Christians and we planned on waiting until marriage. We moved in together in August, so a month before the engagement.

A month after the engagement, in October, we did it. At first we were both really disappointed but I was more frustrated at how awesome it was and how I knew it was wrong, but didn’t want to stop!

Since then, we have made the decision to wait again. We want to be right with God and not keep on sinning the same sin over and over again. However it seems that we are only able to make it about a month at a time, and then we somehow convince ourselves that we can do it one last time, or some other reason to justify it. Any advice?

Post # 56
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

View original reply
@nikole.powell.np: 

Can you speak to someone senior about it? Maybe a pastor or another Christian couple that you can be accountable to? It must be *really* difficult, particularly as you are lving together, but I am sure you wouldn’t be asking for advice if it didn’t make you feel guilty in some way.

 

I guess the accountability route would be my suggestion. I hope you manage to find something that works for you both.

Post # 57
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My fiance and I are waiting also! Boy is it hard!  He’s a virgin but I’m not but I was celebate from before we got together.  I live in my own apartment so we don’t spend time alone here at all!  If he drops me off he stays outside, and we spend time by his house (his parents are always home).  We also pray together whenever we spend extended time together, or before going out, so we don’t end up in these make-out sessions that lead us to want to think or touch inappropriately… and I try not to wear anything too revealing that would tempt him, and we send each other scripture on sexual immorality.  It helps a lot, but there are times when we just feel like running to a courthouse and being married already!! LOL.  I can truly say this though, putting God first in your relationship in every area, even an area as difficult has sex has amazing rewards (half of which im sure I have not even seen yet).  But there is an element of trust knowing that you both regard God’s statutes so highly that this trust emanates to other areas of the relationship.  I feel very comfortable marrying a man who knows how to control his lust and call upon the Holy Spirit for help! 

Post # 58
Member
11533 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

As a Christian woman who waited until after marriage before having sex — and as someone who did not marry until I was in my mid-40s — I just want to encourage those of you who are choosing to honor God though your obedience to Him with respect to this issue.

You can NEVER go wrong by obeying God! It took a very, very, very long time for God to bring the right man into my life, and I am SO thankful that I did not give up and give in during any of my prior relationships. I also am very thankful that my DH was as committed as I was to honoring God by waiting until after our wedding to begin a sexual relationship. 

 

Post # 59
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

giving up sex was tough, but it is the best thing we did in our realtionship.  Think of so many things, like fidelity, they don’t become a worry.  

 

you can do it!

Post # 60
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My last post did not quite work out. My fiance and I have not waited. We waited over a year and were engaged soon after. I guess getting married within six months of dating would have prevented it. It has always been an act done in love. It is also something that we don’t allow to consume us.

Post # 61
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Just wanted to add more support.  I’m so glad you are both waiting now until your wedding.  Congratulations on your upcoming marriage and stay strong in the Lord.  My husband and I didn’t even kiss until we were married.  We also only saw each other on weekends so it was easier.  Just a thought, because kissing can lend to temptation.

The topic ‘Waiting til marriage….’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors