(Closed) Waiting to get engaged, and discouraged

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@AJ2012:  Awwww Hugs from Maryland. It’s okay sweetie. I think we all feel a little of this when you’ve dated someone for a while. My Fiance lectured be about “blind faith” for years and he proposed a month shy of our 6 year anniversary. I was a bit down prior to the proposal because a friend of mine got engage a few weeks before. I was a bit down about that but tried not to let it show to Fiance. 

When your SO is down on one knee asking you to spend the rest of your life with him you won’t remember how you’r feeling right now. It’s a beautiful moment, please don’t plan on being not happy about it before the moment presents its self to you. Because your ready doesn’t mean that he is right now. It could be in the work just try to be optimistic. Smile

Post # 4
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

I totally feel your pain! I can’t tell you how many times it has been on the tip of my tongue to just tell him to not bother! Of course that’s not what I really want but all the stress from waiting and wondering if he really even wants this is killing me lately. If he tells me to relax and trust him one more time I think my head will explode!!!

Post # 5
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

@AJ2012:  I agree, I’m a bit jaded with regards to weddings, still get excited though, if i could crash a wedding i would. ^-^. When he proposes (because he will) I’m sure you’ll feel all you’ve wished for it. I’ve waited along time as well. But, part of me is still 15yrs old, starry eyed & wishing for that magical feeling!!!!!

Post # 6
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2013

ladies…. my Fiance jsut proposed to me, on our 9 year anniversary! honestly, had to take a lot of it into my own hands… i started the ring process etc, and I knew itw as coming I just didnt knwo when. In the end, it was perfect, and it’s so easy to lose sight of everything. I would have remained with him even if we wouldnt have gotten married.

i am however jaded by all things wedding. they are expensive and in the end it seems like you are pleasing everyone but yourself!! 

hang in there!!!

Post # 7
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2013

ladies…. my Fiance jsut proposed to me, on our 9 year anniversary! honestly, had to take a lot of it into my own hands… i started the ring process etc, and I knew itw as coming I just didnt knwo when. In the end, it was perfect, and it’s so easy to lose sight of everything. I would have remained with him even if we wouldnt have gotten married.

i am however jaded by all things wedding. they are expensive and in the end it seems like you are pleasing everyone but yourself!! 

hang in there!!!

Post # 9
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I have been with my SO for 5 years, and honestly, after the 3 or 4 year mark, I started to feel like any excitement about being engaged would disappear. Now that we are about to get my ring, I am over the moon excited. You don’t know how you’ll feel when the time comes, and when it does, I am sure that any thought about the wait will be overshadowed by the happiness you’ll feel because of the proposal.

Post # 10
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@AJ2012: I have not been waiting as long as you have and to be honest I already feel resentful towards SO. We have so many friends who have become engaged before we have and it takes the romance out of it. I always hoped becoming engaged would be exciting and romantic. Now I’m over it. I have a good friend who got engaged in her living room on the way to dinner a few months after her 10 YEAR anniversary. When everyone found out the reaction was more along the lines of “it’s about time” than being excited and my friend did comment that she doesn’t like telling her proposal story bc it is not romantic and anti-climactic. I decided that is not the kind of engagement I wanted. I am so worried that I’ll continue to resent SO after he proposes bc he didn’t propose sooner.  It is comforting to know that others bees who have experienced this were still excited after waiting so long 🙂

Post # 11
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I totally felt this way. I seriously cried every day for the months up to the proposal i felt so rejected.  And then he proposed and it was like all that never happened. 

Hang in there baby : )

Post # 12
Member
2025 posts
Buzzing bee

*hugs* SO and I are celebrating 7 years together today! And, I have felt this way before too. It’s very hard when you know you are ready and you know how much you love someone and want to marry them like, yesterday. And it’s hard to swallow when it feels like the other person isn’t on the same page as you. Perhaps it’s time for a good chat with the SO to clarify a few things. 🙂 I know it helped me a lot to sit down and revisit the topic after nearly 2 years of silence.

Post # 13
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I hear you! It’s so hard to wait sometimes. I wish it was tradition for the woman to propose, not that we can’t, but I’ve always dreamed of the proposal as much as the wedding.

Post # 14
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

To all the bees who are waiting, your day will come!  I was once in your shoes, feeling resentment towards my then boyfriend for not proposing after being together for 6+ years.  I watched some of my friends meet their SOs, get engaged, married, and have kids during the time I was dating my boyfriend.  Talk about making me bitter!  I always thought I’d have a negative reaction to the proposal, like be a b—- to him for making me wait for so long.  And when he finally did propose, I’ll be honest, it was sweet and romantic but I didn’t have the “take your breath away” moment that I always thought I’d have.  (Not sure if it’s because I was thinking “finally!”)  But all the resentment turned into excitement and I was happy!  I couldn’t and still can’t stop looking at my ring, I love every moment of wedding planning, dress shopping, and that feeling of anticipation for the big day.  And now when my fiance says “I don’t know why I waited so long to propose,” I just smile.

Post # 15
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

I felt the bitterness creaping up big time in my “waiting days” and was worried I wouldn’t be as excited either. But honestly, when he finally got down on 1 knee and planned the most beautiful proposal and gave me perfect ring It was pure bliss! I immediately felt joy and even surprise- could hardly believe it was real even though I knew it was going to happen soon.  It is a surreal feeling so try your best to keep positive.

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