Post # 1
My fiance and I both have ambitious goals for our education and careers, and this was a huge obstacle throughout our whole relationship. We’ve finally overcome much of that, but the final test is upon us…he’s applied to med school, and I’ve applied to graduate school…we’ve applied in all the same cities, and now we just have to cross our fingers and hope we both get in, and if (when!) we do, that its in the same place! We hope to go to the school in the city we live in now, but if we don’t, we’ll be moving this summer right after our June wedding (which just so happens to be taking place 3,000 miles away!)
This is really more of a vent than anything…this situation has created a lot of stress, as we’re trying to plan a wedding with a whole lot of uncertainty about our future hanging over us. Fiance is particularly stressed out, as he hasn’t yet received an acceptance to med school.
*Sigh* Can anyone relate? Are your plans totally up in the air for what your life will look like or where you’ll be living post-marriage?
Post # 3
Awwww, I can’t relate completely but I totally understand the stress of waiting to know where you will live/what your future will look like. I am currently in grad school in PA while Fiance lives in IL. It is hard not knowing if I will be able to move to be with him or will have to remain here after the wedding. I hope that you both get into the schools of your choice and then it is all solved 🙂
Post # 4
have you received any interviews for your grad school program yet? or has your fi received med school interviews yet? most programs have already extended interview offers.
what type of program are you trying to get into for grad school?
Post # 5
My Fiance is currently applying to Phd programs for the second year now. His application process last year actually kept up from picking out a date for the wedding because we were unsure if we would be relocating. When he didn’t get in, we stayed put and set a date.
Now he’s applying again and if he gets in this time around, we’ll be moving about a month or so after our wedding/honeymoon. As of right now, we aren’t too stressed, but I’m sure we’ll majorly be stressing out planning a move, and a wedding in the next few months if he gets accepted.
I couldn’t imagine both of us going through this application process at the same time.
Good luck with everything!
Post # 6
Ooh, me! I plan on applying to various Clinical Psych programs, and R is applying to vet school. His back up is nursing. We’re being systematic about it: applying to schools within a reasonable drive of each other, but it’s still hard to have everything so up in the air.
Post # 7
Oooh, I know how this feels. My Fiance and I both went through the stress of applying to law school together. He was a year ahead of me so he did his first year at one school and then transferred to my school the next year.
I’m not sure if transferring is an option for med school or your grad program. Hopefully you won’t need it, but it may be a great option for you and your Fiance if things don’t work out exactly as planned.
I’ll keep my fingers crossed though that everything works out perfectly for you guys! Good luck!
Post # 8
My FH and i met in med school. I am finishing up fellowship next year, and he has a fellowship in pittsburg starting one month after the wedding. that means that we will spend our first married year apart! then…who knows! it’s all an adventure.
Post # 9
gah! i typed up a whole response and then the internet went out! :p
long story short, i am a second year in med school, the boytoy and i are doing the LDR thing while i am in school, and then he will be moving with me to residency…
if you have any questions about the whole med school app process, feel free to ask me here, or message me! i know how long and kind of confusing the whole thing is!
did your fi apply for school for aug 2010? has he interviewed? if he hasn’t gotten rejections thats a good thing, because you can be accepted into med school all the way up to the first day of class, so don’t worry too much!
Post # 10
I know just how you feel. FI is applying to Ph.D. programs this fall and I will be applying next fall. We got into a lot of arguments and lots of tears were shed when we were trying to sort out how all of this is going to work. But it was the single thing that brought us closer than anything else that we’d gone through together (and we’ve been through quite a bit). It was when we both recognized that our relationship was more important to us and would bring us more happiness than any single career would, despite advisors’ and current graduate students’ insistences that we should put the relationship on hold and privilege our career development as if our relationship would magically fall back into place “when the time came” if it was meant to be. It was then that we knew we’d get married, although like you guys, it has made wedding planning hard. We’ve picked out our venue, caterer, baker, my dress, wedding ‘feel’ and colors….but still haven’t booked anything yet because we can’t decide what’d be the best time to get married thanks to the uncertainty of grad school!
Like you guys, we’re applying to graduate programs in the same areas and then hoping for the best. We’ve been looking at the ‘midway points’ between potential graduate school options for us, so that we might be able to commute if we aren’t accepted to schools in the same exact city. We’re hoping for New York for both of us, but that’s going to take an incredible amount of luck!
So I hope some luck goes to you guys, and all the other Bees in the same situation. Life is hard! :/
Post # 11
I know how you feel, too. Fiance and I applied to grad programs a few years ago, and ended up in different states (we both applied to the same few geographic areas, but then ended up in different ones– luckily only about 2 hours away). He’s finishing up a Ph.D., and I sent out apps to doctoral programs last fall (I was in a master’s program previously, then worked). I’ve gotten interviews to a few places, but don’t know if I’ve got a spot yet. It is for this reason (oh, the joys of waiting) that we have not set a wedding date. Sometimes, I think we should just set a date and go with it- and if we end up married and in different states, we’ll deal.
Post # 12
Thanks for all the well wishes, ladies…sounds like a lot of us are in the same boat. Fiance has received two med school interviews, and I’ve been accepted to an MPH program at one of those schools (and coincidentally, its my top choice.) This is a VERY good sign so I’m praying he gets in…we dated long distance for 5 years while attending different colleges, so we are adamantly opposed to living apart after we get married.
Good luck to everyone! Melding two lives together is so hard!
Post # 13
I hear you! I’m finishing grad school, and Hubby is working, but when I finish school next spring, we have no idea where we’ll go. I need to get a job and do so in enough time that he can move to another CPA company. So far the list of possibilities is still to long to deal with!