(Closed) waiting to know if people are coming is so frustrating!!

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

What I did was I got a travel agent to put together flight and hotel packages to our resort for the different cities our guests would be coming from, and then sent out an email saying that we need deposits right away (which we did need to keep the prices low) so we knew within a couple weeks who was coming and who wasn’t. Obviously there will be some wiggling going on, but we are generally considering people who haven’t put money down for it to be a “no”.

Post # 4
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yeah, even for non-destination weddings, that can be really frustrating! Our wedding is out of town for everyone (but not really a “destination”). We are extending 255 invitations (including lots of +1s), but I really expect only between 140 – 160. So I’m buying all my centerpieces, etc based on that. It’s a little nerve wracking not to know for certain though, and we don’t even get to find out for sure until a month in advance since it is local out-of-town!

Post # 6
Member
2351 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

i hear ya. we r trying to only budget for about 20 guests at our dw, but we felt the only way to not alienate ppl was to invite the whole family and their kids first and see who declines and then if we have any openings we can pick and choose between friends to fill in spots. even tho we dont have much confidence in alot of invitees. i just hope they have enough decency to tell us earlier rather than later that they decline so that we can adjust the budget and get on with decor choices. i cant think of a way to set a preliminary rsvp date except to just have his mom and my mom kinda spread the word by mouth. and i dont know if ppl will respect it anyway. i just dont want ppl lying and saying theyre going in order to save face instead of being honest, so we can send 2nd round save the dates out with plenty of time for them to research and save up as well.

Post # 7
Member
2270 posts
Buzzing bee

Went to a wedding in August, and lots of people hadn’t RSVP’d by the time the wedding took place, but everybody showed up.

The bride’s bridesmaid had people RSVP fairly quickly, but she had 6 no shows.

It’s hit or miss, it seems. You’ll just have to wait and see.

Post # 8
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This worries me too. Most of our guests will probably drive (anywhere from 1 to 7 hours because we have people all over CA). A good 30% are from the east coast…and my mom told me not to expect many of them since its too expensive door most of them to come to CA. LA people tend to be pretty flakey so who knows…that’s part of the reason we decided to have it up north to force them to choose rather than wait and “see if they could swing by” (which is a classic annoying LA refrain).

Currently I’m only over- inviting by 6 people (156). The venue has a 150 capacity, and I’d be happy if we landed anywhere above 125…wondering if I should over-invite more?

Post # 9
Member
218 posts
Helper bee

if I decide to go the wedding route and not elope, I am really dreading this. It seems like a logistical nightmare! Trying to guess and wanting to send out a second batch of invitations.

it seems when there is travel involved people drag their feet more deciding?

Post # 11
Member
2270 posts
Buzzing bee

@newname_99:  I would FLIP if I paid for someone and they didn’t show. I would literally send them a bill for what they cost me. I hope people comply and reply. I would personally call people to check that they’re coming, but I’m OCD like that. Thank god I’m only having 30 guests or so at my wedding.

Post # 12
Member
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@newname_99:  I know how you feel! We have 56 confirmed guests for our destination wedding but still have a bunch of people that said they would let us know by next year or book “last minute” I dont like the idea of people booking last minute as I would like to know the numbers NOW so I can start planning and ordering things (which I have been doing anyways)

Post # 13
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I feel your pain.  I just sent out our invitations and I have absolutely no idea what numbers to expect. We sent out 50 invitations which came out to about 100 people.  My deadline is mid January and I am being very strict about that. If you aren’t sure by then, I will not accept any last-minute RSVPs.  I will contact those who don’t RSVP by my deadline of course, but if they tell me they can’t commit at that point, I will tell them we can’t accommodate them. I am not going to stress myself out. I want to have a smooth and fun wedding.  Those that are definitely in will book their flights and hotel and be there by the deadline, period. No time for wishy washy over here

Post # 15
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Can you write into the venue contract an option of adding up to X number of people to the headcount by X date for X amount of money per head?  They might charge a bit extra, but if it will buy you peace of mind, it might be worthwhile looking into.  Other than that, short of buying plane tix for people there is nothing you can do…

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