(Closed) Waiting To Move In Together

posted 5 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

We waited! It was totally worth the wait and was so exciting when we got back from our honeymoon to move into our home together πŸ™‚ It’s not easy tho! But if you can stick thru it I think you’ll be happy with the decision!

Post # 3
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: Beach

I come from a conservative family and living together before marriage has always been frowned upon, so I never planned to live with my fiance before we got married. 

Fiance’s family is the opposite and actually were a bit surprised that we were not going to be living together. But they have come around to it now. 

I think it was honestly the best decision I could have made for our relationship. I stress and freak over changes and new things, and it took me a while to settle into being engaged and planning a wedding etc. If I had thrown living together into that, I am not sure it would have worked out. I also have had roommates etc since I finished college (almost 30) and I wanted to have one last year on my own. 

It has BY FAR allowed me to much more appreciate my time with my fiance, and built up so much excitement for when we do finally get to spend every day together. I think it makes me look forward to our wedding day and what is to come after that much more. We only see each other on weekends right now, as we work about an hour apart. 

 

Post # 5
Member
6516 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
julesss:  we “almost” waited. we moved in 7 months before the wedding, we came across this apartment and we just couldn’t pass it up bc it was so cheap but the apartment was beautiful. so we couldn’t let it get away.

but i was glad we waited. people always wondered how a couple who were together as long as we were and as old as we were (i say old because we were 28 & 29 when we moved in together) and people our age had been living together or living on their own since they were 18! and for us it just wasn’t doable bc we were in school, and we decided to live at home for awhile to save money instead

Post # 8
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

We are waiting! My Fiance and I live about 10 minutes apart and we see each other all the time. My parents have always been firm believers in not living together before marriage, not because of religious reasons or being conservative, but that is just what they did and they have been married for 35 years. I see so many people my age (mid 20s) and everyone is always in such a rush to move in together because it “saves money” and “you don’t really know a person until you live with them”. Honestly, I think if you live together you have nothing to look forward to right after the wedding because you literally go back to the way your life was before you got hitched. I know what my Fiance is like when I’m not around, but I’m with him all the time so I know what to expect and vice versa. Don’t listen to the haters who say its a “test” before marriage because its not, you are marrying someone you know through and through and if you have to “test” your relationship before then I think the relationship is doomed from the start. I just like the idea of starting our life offically together after we tie the knot and looking forward to all of the excitement that marriage brings.

Post # 9
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I sort of waited…I come from a conservative religious family and I would never have considered moving in with FH unless we were engaged with a wedding date set close by (and many of my peers looked at me like I was super old fashioned for that). We are getting married this September and moved in together this past April, so when the wedding comes around we will have been living together for 5 months. Now that I’ve experienced living together for the past two months I can honestly say I’m so happy we did it before the wedding. I am so bad with change and this has been such a big adjustment period that I can’t imagine getting married and moving in together at the same time, it may have caused me to attribute all the changes of the living together adjustment period to marriage, which would’ve sent my over-analytical brain into a tailspin. I do think whether you choose to move in before or after marriage it will be fine as long as you realize that there will be some growing pains that you can get through with lots of communication, compromise, and understanding. 

Post # 12
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

We didn’t wait, but that’s because my mum told me it was super important to live together before marriage. 

She said she wouldn’t have married my Dad if she’d have known how awful he was to live with! She made sure to live with my Step Dad for a year or so before they even got engaged!

We moved in together as soon as I finished University so I was 22 and he was 23. We’ve lived together 3.5 years now and bought our house 2 years ago.

I think it’s nice that you have waited though – sounds like you have a lovely house to move into and it must be very exciting for you to live together for the first time! πŸ™‚

 

Post # 13
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

We are waiting. Technically at least. He works out of state about 9 months of the year (not all at once… he’ll work for about a month, then be off a week or two, work a month, off a week or two and so on) so when he isn’t working I guess you could say we live together, but it’s in the home I’m sharing, not our own home or anything. I come from a traditional, consevative family, and his isn’t so much and his mom can’t really understand us not going ahead and getting a place, but to us, not only is waiitng important (at least to me, and he is respectful of that) but financially right now it is the smartest thing (we can put the money we would be using on rent or house payments toward debt to get that out of the way and when the time does come, our credit will have improved, so we have several reasons why. Many can’t understand this though and I’m constantly asked why…. 

Post # 15
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

View original reply
julesss:  you’re going to have so much fun! πŸ˜€ 

Just remember that living together is give and take. Make sure that you split the chores and make sure to get a joint account for all the bills to come out of πŸ™‚ these little things make living together a lot easier πŸ™‚

xx

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