Post # 1
Just looking for some outside opinions. We got married about a year ago, we’re both 30. We are planning to wait until next late summer (2020) to try to start having kids based on a trip we want to take. That would be me at close to 32. Otherwise we feel ready to have kids we just really want to go on this trip to Europe and can’t do it this summer. Hopefully things will go according to plan but I have no idea how long it will take to get pregnant since I’ve never tried before! We do want to have 2 kids and ideally I’d have them at age 32 and 34 but of course I know it doesn’t always work like that. Was anyone in a similar situation and did it work out/ you wished you started sooner?
Post # 2
We were on a similar schedule. Started trying a few months after our wedding when I was 32 and dh 37. Took about six months, with a miscarriage and two CPs in there before conceiving our daughter. So it was a bumpy ride but not a very long one at least. We will likely TTC #2 when dd turns 1, so this fall probably.
Do I wish we’d started sooner? No…but we started pretty soon after we got married…basically just waited a few months so we could go on our honeymoon and enjoy a couple months being married without the worry of it all.
Post # 3
We are also waiting to try. We are both 29 and planning on TCC July 2020. I’ve gotten a lot of crap from family about our plans to wait (they have no idea when we plan to start trying just that we aren’t trying now) especially since my 25 year old brother and his wife had a baby in October. My mom even told me I’m getting old *major eye roll*
We have things we want to do on this next year and a halfish. We are planning a trip to Hawaii and a couple smaller trips as well. I’m training for my first half-marathon and working on losing the last 20 lbs of my 70 lb weight loss goal. My husband has a lot going on with his PhD right now and is working on getting his first paper published.
Maybe we’ll wish we had started sooner but I can’t make decisions based on information I don’t have. And right now in our lives it just makes sense to wait a bit. I mean if we have fertility issues, yeah we’ll probably think we should have started soon but at the same time if we don’t have any issues I’m not ready for a baby today or nine months from now and I have no reason to think we’ll have problems so we are going to wait.
Post # 4
hikingbride : thank you! This is exactly how I feel. I guess I worry about the what if but I’d also regret not spending the next 1-1.5 years doing some things we really want to do.
Post # 5
While there’s no denying that fertility declines with age, it’s A.) not as rapid/extreme as people throw around (by that, I mean that the successful pregnancy rates at 37 aren’t dramatically lower than 27), and B.) a lot of fertility struggles aren’t age-related. If you don’t ovulate, or your husband’s sperm is wonky, waiting one more year isn’t going to change that. It’s true that you want to have plenty of time (a year at 40 is a LOT different than a year at 32), but you’re young enough to relax!
Anyhow, not much to add except we’re sort of in the same boat. Fiance seems happy to let me take the lead on a baby timeline, and I worry about waiting since I’m 30 and he’s 40, and we want more than one. I don’t necessarily worry about myself, and he’s in great shape, but I also know he doesn’t want to be up with a newborn baby on his 50th birthday, you know? We have our wedding in August, honeymoon in October, and I’m running a marathon (hopefully) in December. Maybe then we’ll figure out a timeline. At this point, I’m just forcing myself not to think about the what-ifs too much…my CNM already said I’m a candidate for the NIPT blood tests when I do get pregnant, which makes me feel better.
Also, when I told my step-grandma that I wanted 3, she told me I was too old. Massive eye roll. People have terrible opinions.
Post # 6
Do the trip – and all the fun things you can do easily now. The biggest regrets we have in life are the things we DIDN’T do. Become parents with no regrets 🙂
Post # 7
We’re in the same boat! Waiting until september 2020 due to a trip to ireland that can’t be done before that because of vacation time at work. When we start trying I’ll be 27 and he’ll be 28.
Do the trip, it sounds amazing! I woundn’t worry about your age at all, my mom got pregnant with my sister on her first try at age 31, me on her first try at age 33, and my brother accidentally having only one night without protection at 37. Her story may not be the norm but I hope it gives you a bit of optimism!
Post # 8
I am currently 30 and dh is 37 and we have decided to wait til march 2020 for a few reasons, so will be 31 and 38 while ttc. I’m not worried but a few people have been on our backs about it.. but you know what we’re all still young 🙂
Post # 9
TTC isn’t on my radar quite yet but my mom was 35 when she had me and my sister (dad was 42) and she had my brother when she was 37. Similarly, a close friend of mine had her first at 34 and is currently pregnant with #3 at 37!
Post # 10
I wouldn’t put it off, but I started TTC at 29 and haven’t had a successful pregnancy yet (I’m about to turn 31). For the record, I have nothing that should prevent me from getting pregnant, but I wish we wouldn’t have wasted any time. We’ve still been able to take trips and plan trips no more than 6 months out.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2017 - California
I do wish we had started earlier. My Darling Husband and I were NTNP starting about 4-6 months after we got married. We got pregnant about 6 months after that and that ended in MMC. I wish we just went straight into TTC rather than NTNP but who knows if things would have worked out any differently. Part of the reason is that we are getting older (turning 35 this year) and we do want to have two kids ideally. From what I have read, fertility takes a fairly sharp turn around 37 so while we still have time, it’s really not a whole lot of time to have two kids. You still have more time than we do and you definitely should not TTC before you are ready and before you get to do the other things that you would like to do first, so I hope I don’t come across as saying that folks should not wait. Just sharing my experience and thought process.