(Closed) Waiting to TTC chat

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 106
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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angelaw2g:  You’re terrified of having a girl? You and your Fiance should have a long, deep conversation about childern if it’s such an issue that you’re actually afraid of having a girl. What will happen if you end up with 3 girls and no boys? will your Fiance still be happy? Will he want to go on and on until he gets his boys? Will the girls feel “less loved” because it’s a boy you always wanted. I’m concerned for you that you’re terrified. I think it’s normal to want one or the other, but to be terrified is not.

Post # 107
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Paradise Gardens

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onyx81:  Oh wow I totally understand you nudging him to take the reigns on the BC, you’ll definitely have your hands full with two little ones. No need to deal with menopause in addition to becoming a mommy of 2. I’m glad your hubby is game for taking on the responsibility, hopefully I’ll be able to get my hubby on board soon. At this point, that’s still a gray area.

Post # 108
Member
301 posts
Helper bee

Hi bees! I have a bit of an exciting update! DH and I just returned from our honeymoon and while we were there I was finishing a pill pack and we decided that would be my last pill! We are really excited for this next chapter and I’ve been doing prenatals and had an appt with my doc before our trip and he gave me the go ahead to stop the pill whenever! I am so excited but nervous too! A good friend of ours just had a MC followed by an etopic pregnancy. She has two kids already but just goes to show you never know what is going to happen. I was originally going to do another cycle of the pill amd start ttc end of april but we both feel like since it could take a while a month or two won’t make much difference. 

Post # 110
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

We are getting married this year, August 2016, and will be waiting to TTC until our one year wedding anniversary. I am happy we get a little more time that is just us, especially after we are married, but I am a little worried about our tight timeline. 

I told Fiance that I would not have kids past 35 due to my own health issues. I also want to wait 2 years between each child because that is how long it takes the body to recover fully. Fiance completely understands both of these things and is fully supportive. The only issue? I am currently 30, so our timeline looks like this:

-Start TTC at 31.5
-Child #1 at 32
-Start TTC child #2 at 34
-Child #2 at 35

That timeline is really tight. What if we have difficulty TTC? What if something happens like a miscarriage? There are so many unknowns and we have not left any time for life to throw a curveball at us (which it always does).

I love the idea of adopting our second child if we don’t have our second child by the time I’m 35 (I always preferred the idea of adoption prior to meeting FI), but Fiance prefers to have bio kids (I think that is a guy thing). So I am a bit worried about any unforseen issues that might pop up while TTC.

I’ve considered discussing bumping up the timeline with Fiance, but I want a little more time to get into a better financial space and we also would like to move into a new house in the next 2-3 years and saving up a downpayment will be a lot easier without a child in the picture for a good portion of the time.

Post # 111
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee

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spoilerssweetie:  I know how you feel with the health considerations. I just found out that I have a degenerative spinal issue (not too serious) but I’ll probably have more issues the older I get. Pregnancy and all its crazy hormone and physical changes are bound to wreak havoc on my body anyway, and exacerbate the issue. My DH wants to wait several more years, but I’m worried that I’m already feeling the pain and discomfort and that the longer we wait the harder it will be for me to recover. So many considerations. Good luck!

Post # 112
Member
1439 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Would it be possible for me to come in please even though I’m not married yet?

I’ll post properly on the laptop tomorrow but briefly- we unexpectedly got pregnant a couple of years ago. A surprise but a very nice one. We lost the baby close to 20 weeks. We were blissfully happy with the pregnancy but because of the emotional trauma and it not being a good time to actively try for a baby then we got engaged we decided we should wait.

Fiance is a doctor and is changing jobs every 6-12 months at the moment, we don’t know where we will be living when the placement is up. It ends in August 2017, almost a year after we get married. Fiance will be able to apply for consultant jobs then then all being well we don’t have to move any more. We have decided we would like to TTC then.

Can I tentatively stick a foot through the door so I can at least read your posts please 😀

Post # 113
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

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MrsLeb:  So excited for you! I came off BC (after 10 years of taking it) in early Jan. We are using protection as I don’t want to be pregnant before a Carribean holiday I’m going on in March, but hoping to start trying in April-May. It is such a great feeling coming off BC though isn’t it! I remember taking the last pill in my pack and it felt great! I’m excited to finally understand how my body works naturally and I just feel different since being off it. I’m tracking my periods etc on an iphone app, so far things are quite steady and predictable but I’ve heard that it can start like that then go off course for a while so we’ll see! I’m sorry to hear about your friend, that is really sad.

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mrsb616:  Of course you can join in! Everyone is at different points in the waiting journey and it’s great to chat about it and share ideas and plans : )

Post # 114
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

i like this thread! i have baby fever so bad! I thought i was possibly pregnant last week but last night proved me wrong haha. We plan on officially trying after we purchase a house which will (god willing) be at the end of this summer. I’m super nervous about money issues because i just feel like no matter how stable we are, what if something happens?? I’m sad about no wine and i’m nervouse about all the blood tests and my age as i’ll be 30. And the number one thing i’m terrified of is having a baby with health or mental problems. I’m super excited to see those 2 positive lines and figureing out a cute way to tell my husband and then telling our families. Pinterest has so many fun ideas! 99% of my friends have kids so it will be really exciting to finally join in on all the stuff i’ve felt left out of. I plan on seeing my gyno right before we begin so he can give me prenatal vitamins or any advice. Then from there fun every night!

Post # 115
Member
619 posts
Busy bee

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teacherbee01:  hi All! DH and I have bern married for a few years and have hemmed and hoed over the idea of children for most of the time we have been together. Recently, like the other night, we made the grad decision that we will, indeed, become parents hopefully by Christmas of 2017. I say become parents because we are going to go the route of adoption instead of having bio children. We decided on adoption, specifically through the foster care system, because I don’t think I could handle the anxiety that pregnancy, delivery, and post partum bring with them. My body is so sensitive to everything and I just don’t think pregnancy is for me. I also really like the idea of adopting children that are a little older and who may be part of a sibling group, think ages 3-8. 

As of now, DH needs to tie up a few loose ends within his career, and I just changed jobs in December, so I would like to be at my job for at least one year. Additionally, we always said we were going to take one BIG trip (we travel pretty regularly, but most of the time its for a long weekend or a few days) hopefully to Hawaii or Thailand. We do plan on road tripping with our family, so a lot of the closer trips we are just waiting to do for a few years. 

Becoming an adoptive family will require us to go through some classes through our county and state, extensive background checks for DH and I, as well as those that will have our children in their care, and a home that is prepped for our children. Since our house is the typical first time home, it is older and will need a little TLC- new windows, updated electrical, and finishing off the second bathroom instead of just stalls for the toilet and shower in the basement.

While all of you beautiful bees that will be taking prenatals, charting, and visiting with your doctors, DH and I will be working with contractors, filling out paperwork, and meeting social workers 😀 We hope to get most of the home improvement started this Spring, and take our big trip by the end of the year. Here’s to hoping we will be TTA (trying to adopt) by January 2017. 

Post # 116
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Hello everyone!! This thread is great! I am anxiously waiting to TTC also! My husband and I have only been married for 6 months now. We are currently looking for a house, but we aren’t in a big hurry (other than to TTC), we want to find the right house. I keep trying to convice my husband that we have 9 months to find a house lol!! but I get where he is coming from and it would be nicer to be settled before TTC. We are hoping to be able to start this summer or fall. Every time I take my bc I just want throw them in the trash! or accidently forget to take a day or too (oops) ..haha jk. 

We seriously have 5 pregnant family members, 4 new babies under 1 year. I am so jealous and can’t take it any more. 

Post # 117
Member
301 posts
Helper bee

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futuremrsJR:  haha I hear ya on the jealousy! I was bitching to hubs last night that I had THREE fb pregnancy announcements yesterday! Basically everyone is pregnant…or at least it feels that way. Hubs has asked that we not do the whole fb announcement thing, so I’m going to abide by that. When it happens we will tell everyone in person.

Post # 119
Member
301 posts
Helper bee

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teacherbee01:  a friend of mine and her husband told friends and family in person and put nothing on social media until their daughter was born. I think she was expecting a lot of “woooah!” reactions but everyone just said congrats…further proving social media announcements are not necessary. I know people are super excited and I would be too, but I had another friend not post anything and she said it was out of respect for those struggling to ttc (when I asked her). I thought that was pretty thoughtful

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