- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2013
Can I please ask other Bees, why have you picked your dates to start TTC? Is it a financial thing? Are you moving into a bigger house around that time?
For us we are getting married in October and Fiance is quite a lot older than me so wants to start trying sooner rather than later. Also, it was important to me personally to be married first. A friend of mine asked me not to get pg before her and her bf get engaged… I must admit I’m not factoring that into our plans 😉
1) July seems like a good month to start for maternity leave purposes- I’m a teacher and I’d like to extend my maternity leave into the summer.
2) I’m not ready this July. I simply have some goals that I’d like to accomplish that would be impossible if I was pregnant (one of them is running the marathon this October).
3) We will be finished paying off all debt except the mortgage. Though it isn’t essential, I really feel better about bringing a baby into our lives if we have paid off all of our loans. Cars are all that’s left! (Mine will be done in August, DH’s will be done in February)
4) July 2015 will be our 3 year wedding anniversary, and just a few months before our 10year dating anniversary. I feel like that gives us personally a solid foundation on which to build our family.
5) We’d like to renovate our first floor to create a better flow for a family and plan to do that next summer. We have no sightlines right now from the kitchen to the living room, and I do NOT want to live in a construction site with a baby.
6) We have lots of weddings next summer, including DH’s sister’s wedding and my brother’s wedding (I’m bridesmaid in both). It’ll be a lot easier for me to enjoy myself if I’m not pregnant or carrying around a little one.
I absolutely agree with you about not factoring your friends’ potential engagement into your TTC plans. Do it when it’s right for you!
This is my first post here. Hope it’s ok!
Age/DH’s age: 28/36
When will you TTC?: We are shooting for August/September 2015
What are you doing to get ready to TTC?: Eating organic everything. Lots of vitamins in addition to prenatals. Mild exercise and yoga. Reading up on home births and such. House hunting for something bigger 🙂
Do you chart? Link to the chart: I just started charting last month. Still trying to get the hang of it. More questions to follow on that topic later, lol.
What are you most appreciating now about NOT being pregnant? Traveling! Although, we just came back from a place where it seemed like literally everyone was pregnant or pushing a baby around and I cried far too much. So ready for babies!!
The main thing for us was having stable jobs- I finished my PhD last year and was doing contract work for a while (i.e. no health insurance), but I now have a great job with benefits. We also wanted to save some money, which we weren’t able to do while I was in grad school (we’ve saved $22K this year already!). We kind of wanted to be married for around a year, but that was arbitrary and we were together almost 5 before getting married. We are also turning 30 and 40 (him) in 2015, so we didn’t want to wait too long. I’m planning to go off the pill in 4-6 weeks, and then we’ll just see what happens. We wanted to be in a place where we would be totally ok with getting pregnant, but not feeling too much pressure if it doesn’t happen immediately. I think we’d be happy if we got pregnant anytime next year
1. We’re both almost ready but could use a bit more time before we make this life-long committment. Having one more year (will be married 1 1/2 years and together over 6 by that point) gives us time to meet certain goals, travel a bit, and just generally prepare for our lives to be different than they are now.
2. I’m a teacher and would like to have the baby-if we’re lucky, of course- at the end of the school year so I can get even more time with our son/daughter before returning to work.
3. We’re going to Greece next June and want to enjoy that amazingness without pregnancy or very young baby.
4. My best friend is getting married in Colorado mid-July next summer and I am her Maid/Matron of Honor. We’be both always wanted to visit Colorado and will hopefully start trying on that trip!
5. Financial-we are working hard on saving money! We were doing really well in our savings and then DH had to have dental surgery so it drained it a bit. We’re getting back to our usual savings routine and cutting out even more to build it up before baby arrives.
6. I’m building up my leave at work. My districts gives teachers quite a bit of time off on top of all of the holidays/breaks we get (12 days total each school year). I’m going to save as many of them as possible this school year and next (when I’ll hopefully be pregnant) for doctor appointments and perhaps extra days I can take off around my due date if I’m feeling exhausted/crappy.
7. My DH in general asked for it to be next year. It took us awhile to decide because at first he kept saying “Whenever you’re ready, I am” (totally frustrating, btw). So finally I gave him a choice based on my feelings of this summer (so next month) or summer 2015 and he said he wanted to wait one more year because he wanted to do as much as possible to prepare for a baby.
Hope this helps!
ETA: Oh, yeah-I wouldn’t factor other’s life plans into yours. Personally, it was kinda rude of her to ask that of you. My best friend did the same (sometimes she just doesn’t think how it comes off) because she wants everyone to be able to attend her wedding in CO next summer and have fun (I get it..but you can’t tell people when to have children). My husband continually jokes that she would be pissed if someone does have a kid before then and we laugh it off. Lucky of her that we decided to wait until that time for several other reasons. Sometimes friends…
I wish my Fiance was like your SO. Being a lot older than me, he really is the driving force behind doing this sooner rather than later!
In the end, couples make it work in much less ideal circumstances than most of us are in, but you have to find what makes you and your DH comfortable 🙂
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