(Closed) Waiting to TTC, Part 13

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 46
Member
3797 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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FreckledFox:  Sounds like you had an awful lot of opinions in short amount of time! Jeez! What?! What a terrible rumor for people to start. I was so excited!

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fiona2011:  Nice! I really like it. It’s nice to know that my body is working (at least from what I can tell) and to see the patterns of my cycles. 

Post # 47
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2734 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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FreckledFox:  Aww, sadface about the rumor πŸ™ 

Post # 48
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1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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SaltedCaramel:  Would you mind pushing me back to November 14? I think it’s a bit more realistic for us. Fiance still wants us to start trying earlier but I don’t want to be worrying if we are pg or not on my wedding day, not knowing if it’s ok to drink alcohol on my hen party or not. 

Can I please ask other Bees, why have you picked your dates to start TTC? Is it a financial thing? Are you moving into a bigger house around that time?

For us we are getting married in October and Fiance is quite a lot older than me so wants to start trying sooner rather than later. Also, it was important to me personally to be married first. A friend of mine asked me not to get pg before her and her bf get engaged… I must admit I’m not factoring that into our plans πŸ˜‰

Post # 49
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1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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linnylou_88:  We wanted to travel abroad a bit more as well as save some money. We also wanted to enjoy our alone time (even though we’ve been together eight years – we’ve been married for 1.5) while we’re young. We’re still young, but recently my hormones have recently (weirdly) turned all maternal. We think it’s the right time soon. We’re just waiting to start trying until AFTER Mardi Gras so we, too, don’t have to worry about alcohol/revelry πŸ˜‰ ETA – We also wanted to pay down more on our house and make sure our debt was at a managable level. That’s important to us, too

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by LizLemon.
  • This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by LizLemon.
Post # 50
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1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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linnylou_88:  Great question! For us, we’ve decided to TTC in July 2015 for a few reasons. (They’re deeply personal reasons so many of them won’t apply to other people at all! But I like hearing what other bees say about this as well!)

1) July seems like a good month to start for maternity leave purposes- I’m a teacher and I’d like to extend my maternity leave into the summer.

2) I’m not ready this July. I simply have some goals that I’d like to accomplish that would be impossible if I was pregnant (one of them is running the marathon this October).

3) We will be finished paying off all debt except the mortgage. Though it isn’t essential, I really feel better about bringing a baby into our lives if we have paid off all of our loans. Cars are all that’s left! (Mine will be done in August, DH’s will be done in February)

4) July 2015 will be our 3 year wedding anniversary, and just a few months before our 10year dating anniversary. I feel like that gives us personally a solid foundation on which to build our family. 

5) We’d like to renovate our first floor to create a better flow for a family and plan to do that next summer. We have no sightlines right now from the kitchen to the living room, and I do NOT want to live in a construction site with a baby.

6) We have lots of weddings next summer, including DH’s sister’s wedding and my brother’s wedding (I’m bridesmaid in both). It’ll be a lot easier for me to enjoy myself if I’m not pregnant or carrying around a little one.

I absolutely agree with you about not factoring your friends’ potential engagement into your TTC plans. Do it when it’s right for you!

Post # 51
Member
2734 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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linnylou_88:  DH and I have primarily been waiting because of financial concerns – we were both grad students (DH just graduated, I’m still finishing my dissertation), and we didn’t want to start trying until at least one of us had a good job.  DH starts his new job next month, so that’s why we’ve decided it’s a good time to try – he’ll be making a good income, and we’ll have good insurance and whatnot.  I also wanted to wait until I could be done with my dissertation before the baby comes.  Even if we’re successful our first month, I should be able to be done and have my degree conferred before the baby is due.

Post # 52
Hostess
6422 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

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KatiePi:  I know me too! Maybe they’ll see the buzz it was getting and actually make it now!

Post # 53
Hostess
6422 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

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linnylou_88:  It took us forever to decide when to TTC. I was ready ASAP and my DH was dragging his heels. We finally agreed on a year that we’d be okay with giving birth and actually having a child (2015) and then figured out that we’d want a Spring baby and then picked May since it’s far enough away from other peoples bdays and not too hot yet. πŸ™‚

Post # 54
Member
392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

This is my first post here. Hope it’s ok!

Age/DH’s age: 28/36

When will you TTC?: We are shooting for August/September 2015

What are you doing to get ready to TTC?: Eating organic everything. Lots of vitamins in addition to prenatals. Mild exercise and yoga. Reading up on home births and such. House hunting for something bigger πŸ™‚

Do you chart? Link to the chart: I just started charting last month. Still trying to get the hang of it. More questions to follow on that topic later, lol.

What are you most appreciating now about NOT being pregnant? Traveling! Although, we just came back from a place where it seemed like literally everyone was pregnant or pushing a baby around and I cried far too much. So ready for babies!!

Post # 55
Member
3954 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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linnylou_88:  Good question!

The main thing for us was having stable jobs- I finished my PhD last year and was doing contract work for a while (i.e. no health insurance), but I now have a great job with benefits. We also wanted to save some money, which we weren’t able to do while I was in grad school (we’ve saved $22K this year already!). We kind of wanted to be married for around a year, but that was arbitrary and we were together almost 5 before getting married. We are also turning 30 and 40 (him) in 2015, so we didn’t want to wait too long. I’m planning to go off the pill in 4-6 weeks, and then we’ll just see what happens. We wanted to be in a place where we would be totally ok with getting pregnant, but not feeling too much pressure if it doesn’t happen immediately. I think we’d be happy if we got pregnant anytime next year 

Post # 56
Member
3797 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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PetuniaPie:  Welcome! I’m right there with ya sister (TTC July 2015). Sometimes I’m so busy I can push wanting a baby out of  my mind, other times (like right now…I”m a teacher on summer break) it’s at the forefront of my mind almost constantly! Both FreckledFox and myself (and several others on this thread…SadieBee for instance) are charters. Feel free to join us on the “Charters of the Hive” thread! The ladies have been super helpful and insightful about any questions I had when I started charting and continue to have. May I ask why you guys decided on August/September? 

Post # 57
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3797 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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linnylou_88:  We decided on July 2015 for sevearl reasons:

1. We’re both almost ready but could use a bit more time before we make this life-long committment. Having one more year (will be married 1 1/2 years and together over 6 by that point) gives us time to meet certain goals, travel a bit, and just generally prepare for our lives to be different than they are now. 

2. I’m a teacher and would like to have the baby-if we’re lucky, of course- at the end of the school year so I can get even more time with our son/daughter before returning to work. 

3. We’re going to Greece next June and want to enjoy that amazingness without pregnancy or very young baby.

4. My best friend is getting married in Colorado mid-July next summer and I am her Maid/Matron of Honor. We’be both always wanted to visit Colorado and will hopefully start trying on that trip!

5. Financial-we are working hard on saving money! We were doing really well in our savings and then DH had to have dental surgery so it drained it a bit. We’re getting back to our usual savings routine and cutting out even more to build it up before baby arrives. 

6. I’m building up my leave at work. My districts gives teachers quite a bit of time off on top of all of the holidays/breaks we get (12 days total each school year). I’m going to save as many of them as possible this school year and next (when I’ll hopefully be pregnant) for doctor appointments and perhaps extra days I can take off around my due date if I’m feeling exhausted/crappy. 

7. My DH in general asked for it to be next year. It took us awhile to decide because at first he kept saying “Whenever you’re ready, I am” (totally frustrating, btw). So finally I gave him a choice based on my feelings of this summer (so next month) or summer 2015 and he said he wanted to wait one more year because he wanted to do as much as possible to prepare for a baby. 

Hope this helps!

ETA: Oh, yeah-I wouldn’t factor other’s life plans into yours. Personally, it was kinda rude of her to ask that of you. My best friend did the same (sometimes she just doesn’t think how it comes off) because she wants everyone to be able to attend her wedding in CO next summer and have fun (I get it..but you can’t tell people when to have children). My husband continually jokes that she would be pissed if someone does have a kid before then and we laugh it off. Lucky of her that we decided to wait until that time for several other reasons. Sometimes friends…

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by KatiePi.
Post # 58
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1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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SadieBee:  finances are important to us too. Well me. Fiance doesn’t worry too much but I’d want a certain about in savings before we get pg, which really means we should have that amount in the bank before we even START trying but that means waiting another 7 months after the wedding. Fiance is happy NTNP for a while but I don’t know if I can string it out for 7 months (or even if I want to!). A real battle of head and heart!

Post # 59
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1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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KatiePi:  My friend wants to get married and it doesn’t look like an engagement is forthcoming so I guess she just finds it hard seeing everyone else move on. There has been an engagement recently which doesn’t help! 

I wish my Fiance was like your SO. Being a lot older than me, he really is the driving force behind doing this sooner rather than later!

Post # 60
Member
2734 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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linnylou_88:  I think finances are usually one of the big issues for most couples in deciding when to TTC, but those concerns come in different forms for different couples.  For us, we’re not so concerned about savings or debt (we both just finished attending grad school, we’re going to be paying off debt for a looooong time), but just having one dependable salary that can comfortably cover all our bills (since I plan to stay home for at least a year).  Anything else is gravy!

In the end, couples make it work in much less ideal circumstances than most of us are in, but you have to find what makes you and your DH comfortable πŸ™‚

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