(Closed) Waiting until marriage to move in

posted 6 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@hisprettygirl:  Wow people sure are rude arent they. My Fiance and I are waiting as well. For tons of reasons. Like one of the huge reasons, is my Fiance is moving closer into town. Y move in with him if hes moving so close to the wedding. Might as well just wait. But I like the idea of waiting until marriage anyway. It gives us something to look forward to.. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

Smile.  “We decided not to.  Why do you ask?” *blink blink*

People are so nosy!

Post # 5
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Can you give an “excuse,” such as waiting for a lease to run out? “It’s more expensive to break our leases than to just let them run out, and this gives us more time to figure out how we’ll be combining households-we can donate all the extra kitchen gadgets, DVDs, etc.” Sadly, your options are usually limited with rude people. (p.s.- I read Miss Manners Wedding book, and unfortunately, she didn’t address this issue.)

Post # 6
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

Um, it’s none of people’s business! And it’s rude of them to ask. We didn’t move in together until we got married, and our party line was, “We discussed our options, and we decided that this was the best decision for us.” Let’s people know you’ve thought about it (so you’re not being stupid or irresponsible, as many assume), that you’re not open to discussing it with them (bud out!), and that this was a PRIVATE decision (which it is!).

Post # 7
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Geez. What’s wrong with a waiting a few more months?! Sorry you are dealing with this. I wish I had advice for you.

Post # 8
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would just answer with a simple “It was a decision that we made for our own personal reasons”  PP was right when she said people are nosy!  Geeze, what nerve!

Post # 9
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m in the same boat as you are almost exactly (just different dates, lol!). We don’t owe people an explanation of our decisions. We’re adults. If I feel that I need to respond, I just say “It’s what works best for us.” If I feel like being snippy, I begin with “I’m flaterred that you’ve taken an interest in our private decisions, but…”

Post # 10
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@hisprettygirl:  “It’s the best choice for us (what works for us)”

Post # 11
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree that you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Just say that’s your choice and you’re both happy with it. I can’t believe people make a big deal out of it. 

Post # 12
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i also didnt live with my husband until we were married.  i didnt want to be a live in girlfriend, i wanted to be a wife so was happy to wait for it

Post # 13
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

I was going to wait to move in, and my reasoning was that otherwise, nothing huge changes after the wedding!  It’s kind of like waiting until Christmas to open a present, or something…  But then I moved in, so there goes my logic…

Post # 15
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@kmsw:  your link says higher rates of divorce IF couples weren’t engaged before they moved in together, so not sure why it would apply here since PP is already engaged.  Personally, as someone who conducts social science research, I’m always highly suspicious about stats like these.  College education, age, etc. are all mitigating factors.

I would suggest just saying. “We wanted to wait, and decided we wanted to move in together once we were officially husband and wife”  

Post # 16
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

In fact my FI’s neice asked me, like over a year ago, if I was moving in with her uncle, my Fiance. lol I said no. I think his whole family expected me to do this because I guess its normal in their family to do this.

My Future Father-In-Law asked me recently if I moved in yet with his son. Lol. No not yet. After the wedding. If I remember correctly he didnt understand y I wasnt living with his son yet.

And of a course my family is expecting us to move in with each other after our wedding. 

Its amazing how people expect you to do things. We will do what is right for us. And waiting until after the wedding is what is right for us. 🙂

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