Post # 1
I’m sure many of you have heard people say that if you wait to have children until you are financially ready you will never have them.
What are your opinions? I feel like I have been hearing this very often lately and since I am a big planner I am a little hesitant to make a life changing decision without having everything in place first. Was anyone not financially ready and had a baby anyways?
DH is self employed and his business was doing rather well especially at the beginning of the yr and we started discussing the idea of having kids. His business is not as profitable right now as we would need it to be so I have suggested putting the idea of having a child on hold. He is rather upset and keeps saying that if we wait until we are finacially ready we will never have a child.
Post # 3
Well of course it’s a major concern. We had our daughter when we weren’t ready (and in debt) and it was a long process trying to overcome it. But we did make it through, and I believe anyone can if they decide to make sacrifices.
Post # 4
I don’t know… my income has increased over the years, and I have found I adjust my spending accordingly. My husband is all about financial savings, but i feel like he would need a million dollars in the savings. I think its hard because it seems the money you spend on kids is very subjective, there are the basic needs but beyond that I feel as if each kid has a different price tag. While I would reccomend having a kid if you are living paycheck to paycheck, I would suggest defining financially able, would be very difficult.
Post # 5
Despite 6 degrees between us, neither of us have managed to find full time jobs yet, and at 31 / 33 time isn’t exactly on our side anymore. The global economic crisis isn’t helping and if we wait for things to completely improve, there’s a high chance we’ll be leaving it too late for children.
I think it’s a matter of predicting how financially stable you THINK you’ll be in the future. I’d like to think that when things improve, we’ll have good chances of establishing careers so i’d be willing to start trying soon, regardless of our current situation. If however, I thought the chances of becoming financially stable were slim, i’d probably hold it off as long as possible to see what happens.
Post # 6
DH and I were ready financially to have a child ( mentally? IDK!!). It just makes life a little easier. We are able to provide all necessities and extras for DD and ourselves, our lifestyle has not changed-obviously we don’t go out on the town so we are cutting back there, but the basics are covered and then some. I’m not saying I prance her around in a Bugaboo wearing Neiman Marcus Baby or anything, but we’re in a really nice place.
Do I wish we had more money sometimes? Sure. I don’t think that ever goes away for anyone. There is money in our savings in case of a huge emergency and we do not have to depend on anyone for anything. If we had her 5 years ago it would have been more of a struggle and probably we would lose some of the fun we are having now due to stresses of finances (which many many people overcome like KatyElle said)
You DH is right -you are never financiall “ready” but there are different levels of “not being ready” and the more secure you are and less debt you have, well, it just makes it a little easier.
The end result though, is tha we all love and enjoy our kids regardless of our financial situations. It’s just stressful to have a baby and if you can do everything in your power to alleviate any outside stressors, why not? Even taking a year to pay off credit cards before kids can help!
Post # 7
It makes it a whole heck of a lot easier… my first child was unplanned and we were unprepared. Although sacrifices are made to meet their needs (priorities) regardless, it is a much different experience when you don’t have to struggle to pay the basics.
Post # 8
@Claire2010- Due to self employement it’s up and down so I would like to have more money in savings. I could see us being better off in the future, but how do you find the faith to move forward if you just think and do not know.
Post # 9
I think it just depends on what kind of experiences you want to give your kid. Personally I want the ‘best’ vacations, schools, extracurriculars, etc that are possible. I want to pay for college, grad schools, and weddings if I can. But all these ‘extras’ are certainly not necessary to raise good kids.
I also dont want to have to significantly downgrade my lifestyle when I have kids. Ideally, I would be able to maintain my shopping, grooming, and healthy food habits. I dont want to have kids and not be able to go to Whole Foods or something cause we just can’t afford it.
I grew up extremely low income and it was very tough. In addition,my mom often passed on her guilt to me. For example. if someone have me 20 bucks for my birthday and I wanted to spend it on myself, she would complain and call me ungrateful for not giving the money to her. I dont want my kids taking on that burden.
Post # 10
Didn’t have the money, but managed anyway. (Read Birth Control failed x2-we were wanting to wait until we had money :-s ). My kids are now grown and are amazing people! You don’t need all the stuff. We managed to have the basics but few extras.
Post # 11
DH and I are waiting until we are financially ready as well. Right now we are renting a one bedroom condo and going to school. I would like to wait until we are both done with school (He has two years, I have 5). But I definitely want to be able to have a condo/house and have some money in savings (2-3k) so I can provide the baby with everything they need. But if it happens, we will work with it.
Post # 12
We own a house, have no debt besides our mortgage. We will probably need a larger car (2 dogs + car seat). I am willing to make any sacrafices needed. My parents were really young when they had me and my brother and didn’t have alot but I don’t remember wanting for anything. We didn’t have luxury items but we had what was important. I guess I just worry that on a bad month we will struggle for basic nessecities.
Post # 13
We waited. I think DH and I are financially ready to have a baby, however, like a PP said it’s all relative…if you make more, you spend more. We are 29 and 30 and only have the debt of our home so I think now is as good a time as any.
I think it was more important for me that we waited for maturity, not money. Less money makes things tougher but you will always get through it…besides who NEEDS a pickle bottom diaper bag? Less maturity means a fight can turn into the end of a relationship and is so unhealthy for a baby to experience IMO.
Post # 14
We are still on the fence about having kids but we do know that we would like to be in a better place financially before we even discuss having a kid. We do pretty well, but right now I am only working part-time, so we aren’t doing as well as we could be. DH and I want me to be working full-time, reduce our debt significantly (cut it in half at the very least, if not completely pay everything off), and have savings in the bank (about 4 months to live off of). I want our lifestyle to not change too much by having a kid, meaning not giving up our vacations, our shopping habits, etc.
Post # 15
with our first no, we didn’t wait until we were financially stable. Things were tight and it did suck from time to time, but it worked in the end.
this time around, yes we are waiting until we are financially comfortable — we’re stable right now, but some days a little less comfortable than we’d like due to home expenses (renovations etc), but if it happened we would survive.
Post # 16
I’m in grad school now, and we don’t think that we can realistically afford babies until we’re dual income (I work two part time jobs, but they are barely more than minimum wage).
So we’re planning on waiting until I’m actually started in my career. I will have a considerable amount in student loans by that point, and we need to make sure that we can afford that monthly expense in addition to child-related expenses.