(Closed) Waiting until you are financially ready to have children… yes or no?

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 17
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think every situation is different.  When we had our first, we were financially comfortable, but if we had waited 5 or so years to start a family, we would probably be in an even better position.  However, in the larger picture beyond just finances, now was the right time for us to have kids.  We’d be better off financially if we had waited, but it’d be a lot harder in other aspects of our lives (career-wise, etc…).  So it worked for us.  I guess there’s just a lot more to the equation for me than just finances.  Financially comfortable was enough for me, considering we were ready in other areas. 

Post # 18
6890 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

That’s what we’re doing right now. :/ Well, technically waiting for after the wedding AND finances, but finances are a bigger deal to us (we’ve been together a good many years, lol). I’ve wanted babies since before I can remember. He’s a little older than I am and is ready as well.

However, we just bought our first house (cash, so no mortgage) but there is so much we want to DO to it before we have kids. We want to remodel the kitchen, get new floors (I despise carpet, even if it’s nice) and update the bathrooms, put a fence in the backyard for the dogs. Stuff like that. So in a way, yeah, it’s finances. We don’t want to be remodeling with a newborn, ya know?

I do somewhat agree that you’re never perfectly ready for a baby.

Post # 19
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Do you work?

Post # 21
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

For us, being financially stable is crucial and we wouldn’t willingly TTC without being in that position. We know a lot of new parents who are nowhere close to being as stable as we currently are (which, for the record, is still not stable enough to have a child) and they’re popping out kid after kid. Sure, they’re happy and all but some of them can’t even afford to put food on the table let alone have a night out or treat themselves to a new… whatever.

As a “DINK” (dual income, no kids), that does not sound at all appealing to me. When we choose to have children, we want to be in the best place financially for not only our own sanity but also for the well being of the child. I see how difficult it is for these new parents and that is not a position that I ever want to be in. Worrying about money is hard enough when you just have to take care of yourselves but add in a little human who is going to suck you dry, I imagine the stress quadruples.

I’m sure anyone can “make it work” but I guess I just don’t see why you would want to put yourself through that. If it was an unplanned pregnancy then ok, it was a surprise but those who TTC while knowing that they’re not in a position to have a child aren’t really doing themselves any favors. They say that “all you need is love” but love isn’t going to pay your mortgage or put food on the table, stability will. 

Post # 22
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

It’s hard to say that we are 100%, without a doubt financially ready for children because it just seems like there are so many unknowns. But we feel as though we are financially ready. We have a lot of savings, our day-to-day living expenses are completely covered by my husband’s salary with room to spare (my little baby salary is for “fun stuff” that I can hopefully live without when I become a SAHM), we own both our cars outright, student loans paid off, etc. So I think we’re in an ok place.

Some people say you can make it work no matter what and my parents are a testament to that, but my husband and I personally wanted to wait until we felt ready both emotionally and financially.

Post # 23
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Finances are not everything. I think we are financially ready for a child but in order to sustain that we are not ready to have a child as we both work long hours and have little time to devote to a child. We live below our means and are investing for a future so theat we will both have $ and time to raise a child.

Post # 24
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I hate to be the annoying person who asks your age but that is what i am. putting off having kids is a luxury only women under 30 have. once you reach your 30s you still have time but it’s important not to take your fertlity for granted either. i mean, i am 34 and my husband and i are waiting until a month before my 35th birthday to start trying. i wish we could try now but he wants to close a few loose ends first. the compromise is that we are gonna try to do that as best we can but come May it is go time no matter what the circumstances are. it’s hard for me to think that my dream may not be realized because as far as i can see there is never a good time to have kids. this is not to say you should do it willy nilly. having a plan is VERY important but make sure that you are weighing all the variables and that the value of the prepartion outweighs the risks.

if you are in your 20s and dont have any premature menopause or issues in your family i think you can afford to wait so long as you would be okay with it taking severals months or even years to concieve.

Post # 25
1504 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Our only reason for waiting is money. We have been saving a lot for a house, so if I were to get pregnant now, we’d be okay finacially to support the child, but we’d have to put our dreams of owning a house on hold. I’d rather wait until we’re all settled and have built back up a nest egg before fertilizing my eggs. 😉

Post # 26
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I had NO money when I had my kids.  I started out very very young.  It was a struggle, but the kids definitley made my life fuller.  It was hard, but when you are used to having no money, you know no different. 

If I had no children now, of course I would want to have money saved up.  I couldn’t do it now, and we both work, lol………..  Yes daycare is expensive.  Sometimes you can work in a daycare and get a discount on your child care….. 

Post # 27
13561 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Right now, we’re nowhere near being financially prepared. But we’re also nowhere near being emotionally or physically prepared either. I’m hoping the three will evolve together…

Post # 28
13094 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I disagree that waiting until your are “financially ready and stable” means that you’ll never actually have children.

DH and I are 24 and 25 and we are financially ready to have children RIGHT NOW if we both wanted to continue working.  Since we both want me to be able to be a Stay-At-Home Mom, we are waiting a few more years to TTC but again a few years is all it should take for us to be financially ready for me to leave the workforce and stay at home with children.

You don’t have to have millions in savings or anything to be financially ready and stable.  But minimizing debt and having a cushion for emergencies doesn’t take most people past baby-making ages.

Post # 30
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We didn’t necessarily wait until we were financially ready to start TTC – we’ve been lucky and never really had money issues since we’ve been together. Ours was more of a timing (hello biological clock!) and being prepared to have a significant shift in our lives (more diapers, less nights out on the town).

I can see both yours and DH’s perspectives. You’d like more money saved up before you start, to make the leaner times with his business not so scary. He might be thinking that there will always be ups and downs with his business and you might be caught in this “lets do it, lets wait” cycle forever. If you are emotionally ready and it’s something you want soon, and you don’t have a lot of debt that might eat into that savings, I say go for it. By the time the baby gets here, you’ll have had an additional 9 months to pad the nest egg.

But, if you think trying now would just end up with you as a big ball of stress, find out what would make you comfortable. Is it adding an additional $5000 to the savings account? Maybe if DH has a tangible goal that you need to reach to feel more comfortable, he’ll be open to waiting a little longer.

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