Post # 1
I was just thinking about the waiting process. And I realised I’d rather be waiting for a proposal than waiting to get married, if that makes sense.
Personally, I have never wanted a long engagement. To me it is a step on the route to getting married so when SO and I get engaged planning will start with immediate effect. Other people I know have got engaged with no intention of getting married any time soon, as their engagement is symbol enough of their commitment.
My parents got married a mere four months after getting engaged, a testiment to her determination! But a close friend is having a 3 year engagment to save up for the wedding and so on; her Fiance was itching to get the ring on her finger and she kept putting it off because she wasn’t intially keen on a longer engagment – but he won her round 🙂
So, I would rather wait now than wait later. What about you bees?
Post # 3
I would much rather wait later and have a long engagement. I was waiting for about 6 months, and it was torture to me. Even though I KNEW it was going to happen, there were a lot of doubts and what ifs. Our engagement length is 13 months, which seems pretty normal, but even if it was 2 years, I would have wanted to get engaged ASAP to start the planning process. I feel like you could spend 5 years planning a wedding! haha but I’m also very impatient in terms of waiting 😛
Post # 4
For me I think a bit of both is pretty healthy.
I don’t feel as though I’m actively waitnig, but rather excited. Then, if we were to get engaged soon, I’d want to wait until I finidh grad school (1.5 years) until we tied the knot.
Post # 5
I would rather waite. I am going to have a 2 year engagment. Although, it may be 2 years it gives time to plan and have a life. I am already slowly working on planning the wedding, going to call venuses this week and hopefully have it booking by the end of december. I plann on doing alot of DYI stuff, so I will have alot of time to complete it.
Post # 6
I think it depends on where you are at in the relationship. Once I knew I wanted to marry my Fiance, wanted to sit with that feeling for a year or so before we started seriously talking about marriage – so in that sense I’m glad we didn’t get engaged right away. But once we both were ready, the waiting was torture and painful at times. At least with a long engagement you are just thinking about planning a wedding and can take your time with that, whereas when you are waiting it’s more about if the core of the relationship is solid.
Post # 7
I wanted to be engaged, I was not even interested in wedding planning. We have been engaged since Feb and honestly, ending the wait for me was the best thing to happen to our relationship. Things got so much better after he proposed, since waiting was hard for me and I was miserable.
I think it just depends on the person though. Some people can’t wait to be engaged, some can’t wait to be married. I found out I was more of the engaged type, others might not be.
Post # 8
I prefer having a long engagement. Because I am able to plan and be obsessed with wedding stuff and no one will think she isn’t even engaged… how strange.
Post # 9
I would rather have a longer engagement. We’re probably going to have a decently high budget, but it would still be nice to have that extra time so we can get more for our money, and the longer you have to plan the more options you have, especially in densely populated urban areas.
On the other hand, Boyfriend or Best Friend doesn’t want a long engagement. In his family, being engaged is basically the same as married, so he wanted to make sure we could, in theory, get married that day before getting engaged. I told him I at least want a full calender year to plan, so I think(?) he’s compromising a little on that.
Post # 10
@MapleMoose: lol I didn’t think of it that way!
I’ve been waiting for almost 2 yrs, but we’re planning on having a shorter engagement. So I guess I’m happy with the waiting for now 🙂
Post # 11
During our “Timeline Talk”, my SO asked me the same thing. He said “What’s the difference between getting engaged now and waiting 2 years to get married or getting engaged in a year and getting married a year after?”
Personally, I want to be engaged. It symbolizes something so much more than just being in a relationship. And calling someone your “boyfriend” doesn’t show other people how serious you are. A “fiance” has a deeper meaning when you introduce them to someone. You’re a couple who are in it for the long haul and that’s that.
Also, my SO and I will be paying for our wedding ourselves. It’s going to take a good 2 years before we can afford a wedding and I can’t justify planning a wedding that hasn’t been agreed to (formally, through proposal) yet.
Post # 12
@kmsw: I think you’re probably right, a balance is healthy.
@Au Jardin: Perhaps I’ll feel differently if he makes me wait and wait and wait, but right now, I figure I’m ok with it.
@soyjoy222: I’m the “I want to get married” type, didn’t really realise this until I thought about it though.
@MapleMoose: I laughed, too true!! I’ll have to curb my obsession.
@DaisyCakes: I think I’m where you are right now 🙂
@Black-Eyed-Susan: I think you’re right about the “boyfriend” term I hate refering to SO as my boyfriend. And I hate having to fend off “why aren’t you engaged yet?” questions.
Been a really interesting response girls! You’ve all had really balanced reasons, it’s good to know what other people think. Thanks 🙂
Post # 13
I’d rather wait now and have a short engagement. I want to be married to him, to be his wife, and to start our family as soon as possible. So once he proposes, we’re only waiting for as long as it takes for us to plan the wedding. We’ve already talked about our future; we love each other and are totally committed to each other. We want the same things in life. So, for me, there’s no reason to have a long engagement. We have the money, we have the commitment, and we have plans for the future. Nothing left to do but get hitched 🙂
Post # 14
@HeyKaraoke: A lady after my own heart! I just have to wait for the financial stability 🙂
Post # 15
I would rather be engaged and have a long engagement—- actually that is what we did…. He proposed at the beginning of this year and we aren’t getting married until the end of next year…. 19 month engagement for us. I couldn’t wait another 19 months for him to propose.
Post # 16
I would prefer a longer engagement….more time to plan all the little details!