(Closed) Waiting with no signs of hope

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I’m getting absolutely sick of my man.  Gave him a date (on profile) and said if he don’t provide the goods den da goods is leaving! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Get him told!

Post # 4
Member
1537 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@jackndiane: Maybe he knows that you are obsessing over it and he wants it to be a surprise. Unfortunately you can’t hold your breath with this type of thing. It’s meant to be special and a moment to remember forever, so stop thinking about it so much (as hard as that might be) and just try to live in the moment. If he loves you and wants to show you that type of commitment then he will show you in his own time ๐Ÿ™‚ Don’t give up ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s part of the waiting cycle. I really do. I go through times when I just think that my guy is stringing me along (like right now) and I get all sorts of upset and emotions that come up. Then I tend to slip into not giving a flying flip (but he notcies this because I get cold towards him) and then I go back to hoping and “knowing” that I just have to be patient blah blah blah.

 I’m just so done.

Post # 7
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

@jackndiane: That’s what a lot of women say. I really really really wish I knew why the waiting is so hard and why I don’t deal well with it. I’m actually considering going to therapy to deal with it better because it drives me so crazy and makes me so miserable. 

I don’t hinge my entire happiness on it so what is the deal. I just need to find out so I can fix it. I think with you know why it’s hard for you will help you deal with it better. This is a strange pace for you… waiting on a man. Well, there is tons of advice floating around that help the woman feel in control again and it would probably be very helpful for you.

I personally, don’t know if I can make it another year and half. I feel pathetic for saying that, but it’s just getting harder and harder.

Post # 8
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

I know a proposal is not like a birthday gift. But personally, the closer I come to giving someone something, the quieter about it I get. I don’t want to risk ANY information leaking because I want every aspect of it to be a suprise. Just my theory as to why he may have suddenly shut up about it.

I realize I’ve had some signs in the last month (we checked out some rings once). But I’ll believe it when I see it. I don’t think my guy is saving. At all. And he’s in the middle of trying to change jobs, potentially careers and I’m buying a house and he’s going to help with the closing costs. I’m not holding my breath. I’d love for something to happen this year. But right now I’m just excited about the job change. He works constantly, nights, weekends, and ALL holidays. I see him once or twice a week and we live in the same apartment. ๐Ÿ™ Right now seeing him semi-regularly is worth a propsal.

Long story short: The unknown is scary, but sometimes you got to find that silver lining. Even when there are no signs, there is always hope.

 

Post # 9
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I guess I am. He has told me it will happen within the next few months, but I haven’t seen any movement on his part to make that happen. No asking me about ring styles I like, no time unaccounted for at the mall. He already has enough money saved for a ring, so I don’t need to worry about that. I just wish there were more signs that something was actually underway.

On the plus side, we were talking about something, and he mentioned that he already knew my taste in jewelry (classic and understated, which is totally right). 

There is the possibility that he’s doing a GREAT job making it a surprise…I guess I’ll have to wait a few months to find out. 

Post # 10
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@jackndiane: “In part, I think it’s hard because I am so in charge of every other aspect of my life” That’s exactly it.  There was a post here recently where a Bee expressed that she just didn’t “get” the notion of being impatiently waiting, and you summed it up right there.  Typically, especially if you’re into your 30’s or 40’s, you’ve had control over every other aspect of life.  Wanted a condo? Bought one.  Wanted to change jobs?  Did it. Wanted a buzzcut/motorcycle/vacation/tattoo… WHATEVER, you made it happed.  Now you want to get married…… and you wait.  It’s a statement on our times I think.

Post # 11
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Hope you get a sign or five soon. Waiting was so hard but those signs gave you something to hope for (and think about) versus just being in the dark. I know how you feel.

Post # 12
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

I’ve read a lot of your posts, and I don’t know… I think it’s coming!  I think he might be throwing you off with some of his comments.  I’ll give you the same advice you gave me, don’t bring it up anymore and give him til his deadline.  Good luck, I think he’s going to ask you!

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