Post # 1
Ok, a little background.
Boyfriend and I’ve been together for 9 years, in October. Went to look at rings in January, per his request. He thinks that a couple should agree on getting married/engaged, look at rings, and then that’s it…not talk about it at all until he proposes.
This is SO hard for me. He get’s a little flustered when I bring up the how longs and why not anytime soons…
He will be long distance starting in August for 6 months and I am only going to be able to fly to see him once a month. He will be coming up for my graduation in December but that’s it. Maybe he will make a surprise visit some other time?
I’ve told him that an engagement would help the distance go by faster! But no budge..no signs, no nothing. He gave me a timline of 3 YEARS! And that’s only because he didn’t want to give me a timeline at all so I’d have no idea….
Post # 3
Timelines can change, it’s not concrete. I’m hoping for you it becomes shorter over time. Unfortunately, just two weeks ago i asked him for a time line in the middle of an argument he yelled back saying he was planning on proposing within the next year. Now, argument free, i asked him a couple days ago and said he’s aiming for 2 years. obviously that sparked another argument so he bought me promise ring.. better than nothing but it’s just not the same.
Post # 4
How old are you guys? Nine years is a long time to be together unless you started dating when you were really young. I don’t know if I would stick around if we’d been together that long and there was no timeline.
Post # 5
@AlwaysSunny: We did start young. Started dating at 16. Went to different highschools, different colleges, and now back at the same school. We’ve been living together for 2 years and he’s going to be gone in August for 5 months for an intern.
He’s given a timeline…of three years and it’s only to throw me off. And he’s said that.
I guess there is a little hope sometimes, like today he was talking about this expensive computer thing he wants. I said well you’re going to have to start saving. He said nah, I’ll save for other stuff. I said, well I don’t see you saving (we share bank accounts). He said, well you don’t have access to my savings account do you…
So little things like that. But he won’t flat out mention it or bring it up.
Post # 6
@kerpao: He’s given me a promise ring before, which was so sweet. I had to stop wearing it though because the prongs are worn down and the diamond will fall out. When we went to see how much it would be to fix it…more than the value of the ring. So, now it sits in my safe. I do eventually want to get it fixed.
I’m just hoping he’s going to propse in like 6-8 months. I’d be happy with tomorrow, but I know that’s not the case. I just have absolutely no idea when he will.
Post # 7
Sometimes you just have to be forward. 9 years is a long time to not know what lies ahead. If it really means a lot to you, you’re just gonna have to be straight with him. Some girls may find that harsh, but hey, sometimes men just don’t get it. They need to be reminded a million times before they get the picture 🙂
Post # 8
I see. I understand that he wants to be vague about this, but you obviously need to know the realistic time frame. If I were you, I would tell him that you won’t wait forever. You don’t have to give him a time frame or an ultimatum, but perhaps you should start working on you and prepare for a life without him. Give yourself until a certain time (maybe 6 months after you graduate?) and if he doesn’t propose by then, you should probably move out.