(Closed) Waiting..Waiting.. Now Frustrated!!!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What do you think?
    Just a phase he will change his mind : (11 votes)
    41 %
    Get over it and let him go : (14 votes)
    52 %
    Other... Explain! : (2 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1899 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    It sounds like he is young and there are things he’d like to do before settling down. He should be able to do those things if he wants to, but that doesn’t mean you need to give up and move on. You could do long distance for a year and get engaged when he returns, or get engaged now and get married when he is back. I’d have a conversation with him about how serious he is about living abroad and whether he has taken your engagement into consideration.  Honestly if he has never been a lot of places in his life and he really wants to do this, If I were you i would hope that he would do it because it may be important to him, not hope that its just a phase. You should want him to do all the things that he wants to do in life, even if means pushing off engagement for a smidge. Supporting this or not supporting this could show him how seriously you are about getting engaged to him or just wanting to be engaged RIGHT NOW. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    11234 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Krises:  I agree. You’ve been together since high school, so I’m going to assume that you’re pretty young still. You’ve both got a lot of changing and growing up to do, and he’s probably not ready for marriage yet.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7311 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    You’re young and this is the perfect time in your life to try something new. It sounds like he wants to experience more of what the world has to offer, and that is fantastic. You should encourage his dreams, growth, and personal development, just as he should encourage yours. If he’s going to be away for a year, what dreams and goals can you pursue in his absence? You don’t want to look back on your youth and say “I wish I would have tried…” So try to look at this as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals because being a fully developed and independent individual is crucial for being a good partner for life.

    Post # 6
    Member
    716 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @Krises:  This.

    Post # 7
    Member
    4130 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    If it were me, I’d move to Ukraine with him.  It sounds like it could be loads of fun.  I’m a bit biased though, that’s what SO and I have done.  And yes, things may be postponed a bit, but I love living in a different country (so far anyway!). You’re young, I’m young – we don’t have “responsibilities” if you don’t explore now, when will you?

    Post # 8
    Member
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I’m not sure if he’s the same age as you, but if he is, you guys are still very young.  Most guys aren’t ready to settle down and get married at 22.  Of course there are exceptions, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable for someone that age to want this kind of experience.  

    If he has the money and a game plan, I would encourage him to go.  

    Post # 9
    Member
    486 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    Devil’s advocate here: I wanted to do a lot of things 4 years out of high school. I still do. That doesn’t mean I am going to. Sometimes dreams are just dreams, and a lot of times they can wait, especially if a loved one is involved. 

    When I was in college I wanted to join the Peace Corps. Did I? No lol I also wanted to backpack across Europe and party in Vegas. Didn’t do those things either. 

    Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of things I did do (plus I’m only 23 so I still have time to do). I studied abroad in Paris, I went sky diving, and I fell in love. 

    You can do a lot with the person you love. And it doesn’t have to be in Ukraine lol 

    Post # 11
    Member
    4130 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    @msbriezyb:  Hm… I kind of thought he had a plan beyond “Ukraine is great!”  Can he even get a job?  Economy in Europe isn’t great right now… But at least it’s not in the Eurozone.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1402 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I think he’s probably still excited about how awesome his trip was and it’ll fade pretty soon after he starts really thinking it through.  I wouldn’t worry about it too much.  We all get caught up in the moment, and it sounds to me like that’s what this is.

    Post # 13
    Member
    486 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    @msbriezyb:  Oh yeah, very different. And vacations always make places seem better. I bet he wouldn’t have so much fun if he had to work and live there. I think you’re right. He’s just enamored with this idea. I went on Birthright to Israel last summer and you have no idea how many kids wanted to move there afterwards. But that’s because they’re on a free trip on vacation lol Living somewhere is completely different from visiting. And the same thing happened when I went to Paris. Traveling and vacationing is wonderful. But you need to get through to him that a year is a long time, and that he shouldn’t waste it in one place that is Very foreign and away from you. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1899 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Ok now the bigger question to me is – if he is so naive to want to move abroad without any plans, job, or money saved, is he mature enough to get married? He sounds very young and like he has a lot of growing up to do before you guys even think about getting engaged.

    The topic ‘Waiting..Waiting.. Now Frustrated!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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