(Closed) walk date decided ….. not quite a walk date more of a side step :/

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@lucy_smith:  I think that is fantastic! Its s good feeling to feel in control of your life. And I think it is great that you have a plan set up. I hope you don’t have to use it though! Hopefully both a house and a proposal come soon!

Post # 4
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

Save your own money. . Don’t combine it. .. you’ll know you have a backup if you need to move on your own

Post # 5
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@ba525:  +1. 

It’s a good idea to save but yes, make sure you don’t combine  your money with his. That could get very messy. May be hard to see now when things are relatively good, but in order to make sound decisions, you need to have the foresight to see things that can go bad when they are good.  

Post # 6
Member
7761 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

@ba525:  

This!

Then you have the perfect waiting plan of action.

I love to see a woman taking control of her own destiny!

Post # 8
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

Im older…i insisted we get married cause i love  him and want to be married more than anything…i can barely stand the wait…he was not into it at first but has grown to love the idea and i am helping him get excited…I am thinking positive, loving him and looking forward to being married…I want to be happy and he wants me to be happy too!

Post # 9
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Sounds good. I DEFINITELY wouldn’t sign a mortgage with him without at least being engaged, unless you are 100% sure you’d be ok living there knowing he may never propose.

Post # 10
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

@lucy_smith:  Me! I think it was the uncertainty of all of it that was driving me crazy. Now SO is going to be going to counseling to deal with his issues with getting married (once work quiets down a little, he has been working until 2-3 am most days) – and though he reluctantly agreed to go he’s the one who has been bringing it up on his own in the last couple of weeks (as in telling me, “I haven’t heard from the therapist, should I call him back and what should I say?”), yay! AND I’m planning a life for just me and considering all the other options out there. If things work out with he and I or if I find a job near him then great, but if not, omg I have so many possibilities out there and I feel in control of things again. Yes, things are still uncertain, but I haven’t cried about the waiting situation in weeks because I feel in control again. I even walk more upright, I think!

 

@EffieTrinket:  +1 on signing a mortgage, and keep your money separate!

Post # 11
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

@lucy_smith:  High-five for feeling in control again, btw.

Post # 13
Member
13 posts
Newbee

I love how you called it a sidestep!!  I have a sidestep too.  I could never leave my guy either but living together for 2 years without a proposal is starting to feel insulting to me.    Imagining that by June I’d get my own place has helped me regain control over my life too.  I think we need to have these plans in place since guys seem to hold all of the cards when it comes to proposals and a sidestep or walk date can really help you feel better about the situation in which it appears you have no control.  I really hope we don’t have to use our sidesteps!  Best to you!!  πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
13 posts
Newbee

@lucy_smith:  I would ask a doctor about this.  I really doubt that they would say your chances of pregnancy go down before 30 no matter what your family history.  I really wouldn’t worry about it, from an outsiders perspective this just seems unlikely dispite the fact that your mom is going through menopause early.  Feel better ((hugs))

Post # 15
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@lucy_smith:  Good plan. I did the same thing…I said “I’ll live with you when we’re engaged. period.”

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