(Closed) Walked after 4.5 years.

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
24 posts

@MsBeer:  I’m sorry to hear about this. It is always awful to end a relationship. You’ve invested so much and it’s hard to say goodbye. On that note, I applaud you. Many women do not have the ability to end a bad relationship. Many hold out for a future they know would never happen but they keep hoping. Personally, I don’t know if I could have done what you did. I would like to hope that I could have in that situation. You’ll find prince charming and then all this pain would be worth it.

Post # 33
9951 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012


Now I don`t mean to be glib / unfeeling using that word… because in the end, trust me you will mark this day as a SIGNIFICANT LIFE CHANGING EVENT

And without it you will not have had the OPPORTUNITY to meet the most INCREDIBLE MAN who will come into your life… and bless you with soooo much LOVE (you cannot even imagine it)

I have been in your shoes… the day (and the weeks & months followed) when I left my Ex-H

They were hard… I won`t deny that (more than one night I cried myself to sleep)

BUT they were indeed life changing, and by far some of the best things I`ve ever done for MYSELF as a person

I was drowning holding onto that “boat anchor” and it was time to cut it loose and move on !!

I am so happy I did, and you will be too.  Promise

You are as another Bee said an AMAZING WOMAN… you are launching yourself into a new part of your life story… it will be an wonderful time.  Embrace it

You are on the right track… do things that make YOU HAPPY (decorate your flat, go out with friends, do girlie stuff etc)

And take care of you.  The better you are at BEING YOU… the more interesting a woman you will become… and that will attract men to you.  (Lesson Learned – Don`t compromise yourself for anyone !!)

My best advice… is get yourself to a Book Store, and pick up a copy of this book by Dr Phil, it is very empowering for women… it will help you formulate a “Game Plan” for future relationships… by discovering WHO YOU ARE… and WHAT YOU WANT… and HOW to make it happen

Love Smart – Find The One You Want – Fix the one you got

Read the book, do the Quizes & Worksheets within.  Youll come away a lot more ready for to meet Mr Right when he walks into your life (you wont waste time on the Bad Boys and youll be able to see right thru those sorts) ... and youll be able decipher WHO has Potential, and how to tap into it early.

 I swear this book changed entirely how I dated after my Divorce…. and truly worked to bring Mr TTR into my life.

And as you wont be wasting any time with the Bad Boys... youll get to that PRIZE you talked about a lot sooner, which means being HAPPIER SOONER too !!

So break out the bubbly… and pour me a glass so we can celebrate together !!

Cause today is a new day… and Mr Wonderful is out there… and he`s gonna meet this most INCREDIBLE Woman

(lol, and a lot sooner than you think … cause that is just how self-confidence works…)


Post # 34
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

When one door closes another one opens, sounds like you have made the right decision. Chin up chick!

Post # 35
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I just want to reiterate what everyone else said… you did what you needed to do for you, and in a while you’ll look back and be proud of yourself for being so strong.  You deserve someone who won’t lie to you or string you along.

You said you’ve gotten yourself some girly things for your flat, and that’s awesome!  I’d like to suggest that you start really treating yourself.  Cook (or go out) yourself some gourmet meals that you wouldn’t normally do.  Get your nails done when you want.  Watch your favorite girly movies.  Get a massage.  You deserve it all and it’ll help you be your best when your prince charming finally comes 🙂

Post # 36
109 posts
Blushing bee

@MsBeer:  Sorry you are going through this. *HUGS* I hope you are doing just a bit better 20 hours later. I know it stil must be hard obviously, but I hope that reading the supportive responses has helped a bit! You did the right thing to walk. He has known you for 9.5 years and doesn’t seem to want to make the commitment for fear of losing you. I am always surprised when a man still leaves after getting the boot. I always hope they can turn around and do what makes you happy for the fear of losing you. The fact he didn’t object should show you that you made the right, most empowering decision.

Stay strong!!!!

Post # 40
23 posts

congratualtions are in order, what you did is no easy task but the best you could have done for your future!  I was with my ex for 3.5 years and once we were enagaged i realized i didnt want a life with a man who didnt have the same idea of a future as I did. This will be hard but worthwhile.  Youre true prince charming is out there, be patient and in the meantime have fun dating!  Best of luck!

Post # 42
224 posts
Helper bee

@MsBeer:  That’s probably the hardest decision a woman in love could ever make. I HATE BREAKUPS. they hurt waaaay too much, but just take it in strides. Cry as much as you wannna, sulk as much as you wanna. Do whatever you need to do to make you heal. 



Post # 43
4823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MsBeer:   *HUGS*  You have to let him go in order to be ready for the man who will be right for you.  It’s a difficult time but you have a good head on your shoulders and have approached this issue with strength and grace.  Hang in there.  🙂

Post # 44
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am hoping that this sad time goes by quickly for you.  I absolutely feel that you did the right thing!  I am proud of you!!!  Some man in your future will thank his lucky stars to have you as his wife! xoxo

Post # 45
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@MsBeer:  You so dodged a bullet.  A man with no ambition is a drag on the ticket.  I was engaged for 2.5 years (ended in 2009) to a very lethargic man.  I have never regretted my decision to end that relationship.  My current Fiance is a very hard-worker and wants a family.

Post # 46
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

@Olivepepper:  THIS. Pretty much sums exactly my heartache with a 9 year relationship and my life now. OP… It does get waaay better! You’ll pat yourself on the back someday and feel relief you had the courage to leave. 

Try to keep friends close at this moment and perhaps enroll in some class or fun hobbie. Good luck and I hope this is just the start of an amazing journey For you!

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