(Closed) walked…can be removed from waiting list

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
2253 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you made the right choice.

He’s had plenty of time to make a decision. There’s no reason for you to wait for him any longer. 

I will not say “I’m sorry” because I don’t not see this a sad or unfortunate event. I think it is a good thing, because now you will be able to be with a suitable man who wants what you want and who won’t make you wait. 

This may be hard to deal with now, but rest assured that you acted in your own best interest, and valued yourself enough to pursue the life you really want. 

Post # 19
Member
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Good for you. Don’t let him drag you back into a dead end relationship. He had ample opportunity to keep you in his life and threw it all away. You’ll find someone who knows what he wants. Keep your head up; you’re a brave woman!

Post # 20
Member
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

I sounds like you did the right thing. It was not fair of him to keep you waiting so long when you had made your needs and expectations perfectly clear. In my book, if you are willing to make a lifelong committment to someone, they why would you not marry them and make it official/legal? I suppose it’s fine it both people agree, but it always seems like they are keeping once last bolt hole open just in case. 

Post # 22
Member
15 posts
Newbee

I am so sorry, I can’t imagine how difficult that was. I hope it gives you some semblance of peace to know that you made the right decision and this closed door will lead you to another opened one. You deserve all the love in the world.

Post # 23
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but from what you’ve written, I think you’ve made the right decision for you. The “good-bye” conversation you had with him is very telling — even when he’s seeing you leave, he still can’t give you a clear answer. I’ve seen some men find that as their wake-up call, and they immediately realize the impact of what they’re doing to their partner. The fact that this didn’t happen in this relationship doesn’t bode well.

You don’t have to make excuses for wanting a marriage-style relationship (the benefits even outside of the religion aspect are numerous, after all), or wanting to be married first before having children (the statistics on parents who have kids within a marriage fare considerably better; TwoofUs.org has several articles on that). He wants something different…and you know what you want.

I wish you all the best going forward in the future. If he has a change of heart going forward into the future, think about what you will do in that case. What conditions need to be met in order for you to be with him again? That could keep you from getting back with him, only for him to delay forevermore again.

Post # 24
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@Ashley8200blue:  good luck for your future. Concentrate on you, and don’t look back. If he comes around then good, but if he doesn’t then you’ve made the right decision for YOUR life. It will get better with time, promise you. I read a book a couple of years ago called getting over the loss of a love (or something similar) and it’s mantra is – I am alive, I will survive. And the idea is that all the time you’re breathing you’re healing, tomorrow is a new day, tomorrow will always be a new day, and although tomorrow may not be better, it’s another day closer to feeling like you again.

sending you hugs

Post # 25
Member
421 posts
Helper bee

Oh dear, I can only imagine how difficult of a time this must be for you. It sounds like you made the right call and you’re doing what is best for you, your children, and your future. I hope you have the support of those in your life; if not, we’re always here to support you.

Post # 26
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Ashley8200blue:  Just want to send you a big xoxox. Everything is going to be fine – great, even – I promise.

Post # 27
Member
2094 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Ashley8200blue:  I’m really sorry. 🙁 You sound really confident and sure of your choice. 
I support you.

 

I wish you the best.  

Post # 28
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Ashley8200blue: I am so sorry, I can’t even imagine the pain. But you did the right thing. I’m also in my early 30s, and it took 5 years for my fiance to propose. However, about 3 years in he told me that he was serious about marrying me once his career stabilized, and he has never been the type of person to say things he doesn’t mean, so I chose to trust him and he followed through. I adore him but I don’t know that I would have stayed if he hadn’t declared his intentions and instead was telling me he still wasn’t sure.  

   

Post # 29
Member
49 posts
Newbee

I did this about a year ago – and almost immediately after met my SO.  It was the hardest thing I have ever done, and also the best decision I could have made.  I’m still working on forgiving myself for staying with my ex for so long (5.5 years) but ultimately I made the decision that i needed to make. (Of course after I met my SO my ex decided he did want to marry me … but his time had passed.)

Post # 30
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

@Ashley8200blue:  I am so sorry, I know it was hard but, IF he was the one it will come and if not then you will find the one. I know none of this makes it easier though.

Post # 31
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Fluffmallow:  +1

@Ashley8200blue:  Good for you, OP! It takes a lot of courage and STRENGTH to walk away. However, now you are open for the possibility of a relationship that you truly deserve. Only good karma will follow you now. 🙂

The topic ‘walked…can be removed from waiting list’ is closed to new replies.

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