Post # 1
My parents divorced when I was 18, and I have had a very difficult relationship with my father (to put it mildly). Basically, he couldn’t hurt my mother emotionally anymore so he did it to me instead. 8 years later, I’m lucky to hear from him once every month or two. Shortly after the divorce, my mom met the man who is now my stepdad, and he is the man I consider to be my “dad”. He is amazing, and of course is telling me that he will feel no ill will if I don’t involve him- he doesn’t want me to stress about who should walk me down the aisle/have the first dance with. He didn’t necessarily raise me, but he has been hugely supportive through all of college/my early career.
I’m thinking of having my father walk me, and then having my first dance with my stepdad, mainly because I don’t want to have to embrace my father for that long haha. I know that’s terrible, but I think it’s the only way to avoid making my father’s family uncomfortable. My father is contributing $2000 to the wedding, he said that is all he is willing to give and that spending more than that on one evening is irresponsible. My mom and stepdad are covering most of the rest, supplemented by my fiance and myself. Has anyone else broken it up like this??? I’m stressing 🙁 Thank you!!
Post # 3
I think what you have is a great idea. In that situation I’d also have a hard time dancing with my ‘father’. But with this you at least acknowledge that he’s your bio-dad and that he’s contributing and since your real dad doesn’t mind it seems like the best way to go about it.
My Mom always felt her step-dad was her dad. But he died before she got married so she had her real father there, BUT had her older brother walk her down the aisle and do the ‘father-daughter’ dance.
Post # 4
I am having the same dilemma! my mother and stepfather have been together for 13 years my parents have been divorced about 18 years and i would be lucky to even see my dad once every 12 months since they were divorced but he is coming to the wedding.
I was thinking about just having my mum walk me down but i feel like my stepdad should be there too. on the other hand i don’t want to offend my dad or make anyone fell akward! i just think no matter what i decide i will offend someone!
I think your first dance idea is great, i just have no desire to have my dad involved on any level but really just don’t want the confrontation!
Post # 5
my daughter has chosen to have her father and her step father walk her down the aisle. To give her father his special time with her, she is having him walk her alone from the base of the stairs indoors to the outdoor ceremony, and from the end (or is it beginning?) of the aisle, she will have her step father waiting to pick her up and they will all three walk the remainder together. This allows for a kind of “timeline of her life” dad was there from the beginning, and step dad joined her life as a tween……. I hope it looks as good as it sounds…….
Post # 6
I’m having both my father and stepfather walk me down the aisle. I have known since I was very young that this is what I would do on my wedding day, since they have both had an equally important role in my life.