Post # 1
Hey guys! I don’t have a father, and my g-pa passed away last year. I really wanted him to walk me down the aisle, but since he’s gone, I figured that I would ask my mom or go alone. I like the idea of going alone, I don’t see what the huge deal is, but my Fiance was horrified and asked if his dad could do it. I mentioned my mom could and he was insistent that is should be a MALE. So I compromised and decided I would do it my way. I know he reacted this way because he knows his traditional family would be simply scandalized!! (I’ll make sure we have enough fainting couches for them). What do you guys think? Why does it even matter? I will ask my mom because if it means a lot to her, then I want to do it with her. I like my FIs dad and since he only has 3 boys, I would probably be the only one he gets to do this with, so if HE really wanted to walk me down, then I would love to have him too….what did you guys do? If you walked alone or had your mom, did you deal with negative comments?
Post # 3
Lol @ the fainting couches!
I think walking down with your FI’s dad sounds lovely and if that’s what you want, then please go for it. It’s your wedding, not anyone elses.
My friend got married years ago and her dad had passed away years before and she walked alone. It is still the most beautiful memory I have of any bride walking down an aisle; she looked so radiant and strong and delicate all the same time. Ok, I’m rambling. But you should do whatever you want to do, really.
ETA: I guess part of this decision will depend on whether you view being walked down the aisle as being “given away” because in that case, it might be a little strange for your FI’s dad to do it, but again, it’s totally up to you!
Post # 4
This is YOUR decision and you really honestly shouldn’t get any negative comments! Goodness! Your father passed away, this is certainly not your fault. Plenty of people go with their moms, or a brother, uncle, or close family friend. Plenty of couples with fathers still alive walk with BOTH parents. Again…your decision completely.
I’m walking alone (my father passed away) because it’s a sign of strength to me…and I love the symbolism that I’m walking in by myself but out together with my new husband. People have been super supportive of my decision.
Do NOT get pressured into making a decision that you are uncomfortable with. Ask your mom if YOU want to. I’m sure you will get plenty of responses from bees who have made different choices. Keep your head up and be proud of the choice you make no matter what.
Post # 5
I find it slightly odd to walk down with Future Father-In-Law, but it’s sweet nonetheless. As @Juliepants said, do what makes you feel comfortable.
Post # 6
My father passed away years ago, my mother passed before him. I am walking in by myself, them my Fiance is going to meet me in the middle and we will finish the journey together. Given the lives that we have both lived up to this point, I think this is a beautiful statement. (that is if we can, I fully expect us to both be pretty blubbery….)
Post # 7
Though I have a wealth of father figures for whatever reason, I’m planning to either walk myself on down alone, or with Fiance. I’m sure it would be cute if your Future Father-In-Law walked you, but I have to say that I can’t really compute it to any particular significance, if that makes sense. But then again, it doesn’t have to be significant! I wouldn’t view anyone walking with me as “giving me away”, but at the same time, I’m partially not doing it that way because I know some people would see it that way regardless of my view. Do what makes you feel good!
Post # 8
I’ll be walking down the aisle alone with my Dad sitting in the front row. Just do what makes you comfortable. FI won’t be worrying about it once he sees you at the end of the aisle.
Post # 9
I am also walking down alone. my father passed away when i was 19 and i never knew any of my grandfathers. my mother has been a little sticky with this concept…she thinks it’s so sad to see a bride walk alone. she has given me some trouble and wanted to have my brother walk me down. I really feel like i don’t want to replace my dad for this. I did compromise and told my mom I would dance with my brother since Fiance will do a dance with his mom and it might seem a little imbalanced if I don’t do some kind of “father-daughter” dance….the biggest problem with this is that it seems like every bridal place/tux place or wedding vendor asks me who is walking me down. I get strange blank stares when i say “nobody” and then i feel like i have to rationalize it to them….like my father’s dead…i’m 32 nobody needs to give me to anybody…i don’t know. i’m probably just being over sensitive. it does make me feel better about my choice to see other bees who have chosen to go it alone!
Post # 10
I am walking down the isle alone. Dad won’t be at the wedding, and I would rather walk alone than with mom. I don’t see anything wrong with it, but Fiance doesn’t either. I don’t really know what I would do if Fiance had a problem with it!!
I’m looking forward to walking down the isle and I hope it’s like Juliepants described from the wedding she went to. It just feels right to me, and really feels like the only choice for me.
Do what makes you happy!
Post # 11
I think it’d be weird to have FI’s dad walk you. definitely do whatever you feel comfotable with!
Post # 12
I also think its weird to have FI’s dad walk you, and that its not odd considering your circumstances to have your mom walk you down. You should do whatever makes you feel comfortable. The day of I’m sure that isn’t going to be the first thing on people’s minds.
I also think walking alone could be pretty epic.
Post # 13
@Pixie79: It’s sweet that your Father-In-Law would want to, but you are not his to give away, which is the whole point of walking someone down the isle. I would either go alone or have your mom do it. Trust me, the shocked family members will get over it. Just have one of your friends take their top off at the reception or something, then no one will even remember, haha. That’s just a joke of course 😉
Post # 14
I walked down alone and I felt proud of that. I was 32 years old and my father was deceased. My thought was that no one could replace him. I also felt like at that stage of my life, I didn’t need anyone to “give me away.” Do what’s best for you!
Post # 15
I’d think long and hard before letting Future Father-In-Law walk with you instead of your mom. Unless your mom is supportive, this could cause some mega-hurt feelings on her part. Also, I think, walking alone would be a nice tribute to your grandpa, as he would have been your escort if he were here.
I’m walking down the aisle alone despite having dad, grandpa, two uncles who are like brothers to me, and Mama griffin available and willing to walk with me. It’s important to me (if not anyone else) that I walk by myself. I’m not sure how I would have reacted if Fiance didn’t agree.
Ultimately I think that this needs to be a decision that makes you comfortable and feels right to you regardless of whether the guest will need fainting couches
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2011 - Chicago Illuminating Company
I think you should definitely follow your heart on this one… walking down the aisle is so symbolic and your last moment as a single woman, so I think it is a tiny bit strange to have your Father-In-Law escort you. Don’t worry about the negative comments you get from people 🙂 You are the one who will remember that moment forever, not them!