(Closed) Walking down the aisle drama (feeling very sad/long)

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

*hugs*

It’s so irritating when parents make us responsible for their emotions.  Your reasons for wanting to walk alone with your Dad are perfectly valid, and your mother needs to take a deep breath and remember that this is not about her.

Not saying her feelings ought to be deliberately hurt, but there’s no need for you to accomodate her desire to minimize your dad’s participation.

She may throw a bit of a fit, but as long as you’re calm, collected and firm in stating your preferences she’ll get over it.

We went through something similar with my Mother-In-Law and giving a reading, and the only thing that worked was endless repeating, as coolly as possible, what we were going to do and who would be participating.  She wasn’t thrilled, but now, six months later, I doubt she even remembers the kerfuffle.

Post # 4
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I agree with teaandtoast. Just stay calm and let her know that this is how it is. You might try the line “you may not like my decision, but I expect you to respect it”. That usually works pretty well.

Post # 5
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am so sorry, this must be terribly hard for you. Are you close enough to your step father to talk to him about it, maybe he could be the voice of reason for you. I would think another man would understand how important it is to walk his daughter down the isle.

Post # 7
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

No its not wrong. I think it is very kind of you to include the steps at all. I am a step mother myself. When the FHs wife was alive we had spoken about upcoming life events. I asked to be left in the background for all of them as these were moments that should be shared as parents not as seperate households (but that is just me). I wish you all the peace for your wedding day.

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